Week 5: Friday's Roundup

Matt Cain suffered the dual indignities of getting torched by the Reds AND being outpitched by Bronson Arroyo. 

Studs: Matt Carpenter (BM) hit a 2-run homer, walked 3 times and scored 3 runs. Stephen Strasburg (CB) struck out 5 and didn't allow a run in a 5.2-inning win. He also homered, but we don't care about that anymore (thanks, ESPN). Aledmys Diaz (CB) went 4 for 4 with a double, 3 RBIs, a run and a walk. Paul Goldschmidt (AL) went 3 for 3 with 2 homers, 5 RBIs and a walk. Zack Greinke (R) allowed 2 runs and struck out 7 in a 7-inning win. Jose Peraza (PM) went 3 for 4 with a triple, a steal, 4 RBIs and a run. Lance Lynn (Q) fanned 6 and didn't allow a run in a 6-inning win. 

Duds: Matt Cain (PYB) allowed 9 runs and fanned 2 in a 3.1-inning loss. He also made an error. Mike Foltynewicz (Q) allowed 7 runs and struck out 4 in a 4-inning loss. Orlando Arcia (AL) went 0 for 4 with an error. Eric Thames (PYB) went 0 for 4 with 2 Ks and an error. Matt Kemp (FF) singled and erred. Austin Hedges (FF) came off the bench to walk and commit an error. 

Week 5: Thursday's Roundup

Freddy Galvis shows off the form that led to his pair of throwing errors on Thursday. 

Studs: Max Scherzer (R) struck out 11 and allowed 1 run in a 7-inning win. Joey Votto (LGM) had 2 doubles, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a walk. 

Duds: Eugenio Suarez (CB) walked and was caught stealing. Freddy Galvis (BM) went 1 for 6 with 2 throwing errors. Dan Straily (FF) walked 5 and fanned 3 while allowing 4 runs in a 5-inning loss, but it was the error that bumped him into this category. 

Note: The Mets/Braves game was postponed. 

Week 5: Wednesday's Roundup

Ian Desmond is back, and baseballs had better beware.
Others who should beware: anyone in the general vicinity of the direction Ian is throwing the ball.

Studs: JT Realmuto (CB) homered, singled, walked, scored twice and drove in 4. Jake Arrieta (FF) struck out 7 and allowed 3 runs in a 6-inning win. Ian Desmond (PM) homered twice and drove in 3. Curtis Granderson (R) doubled twice, drove in 1 and scored 3 runs.

Duds: None. Instead, here's Marcell Ozuna hitting a freakin' banner:

Aim for the back wall, right?

Marcell Ozuna smashes a 468-foot blast, his longest HR of the #Statcast era. https://t.co/GB1y3tcsc0 pic.twitter.com/G76hOUDbzv

— #Statcast (@statcast) May 4, 2017

Week 5: Tuesday's Roundup

Look at this chubby doofus. Shame on the Rockies offense.

Studs: Trevor Cahill (LGM) inexplicably shut down the Rockies, allowing no earned runs and striking out 7 in a 6-inning win. Jay Bruce (AL) hit 2 homers and drove in 6. Yasiel Puig (AL) had 3 singles, 2 runs and 4 RBIs. Carlos Martinez (AL) struck out 4 and allowed no earned runs in a 7.1-inning win.

Duds: Matt Harvey (Q) put up a negative number for the second straight start, getting knocked around by the Braves to the tune of 6 runs and 2 strikeouts in a 5.1-inning loss. JT Realmuto (CB) and Austin Hedges (FF) went 0-fer with an error. Matt Moore (FF) gave up 9 earned runs and struck out 3 in a 3.1-inning loss. DJ Lemahieu (AL) walked and made an error.

Week 5: Monday's Roundup

This Brett Anderson, the lead singer of Suede, put up way more points than the other Brett Anderson yesterday.

Studs: Josh Harrison (M) hit two solo homers. Johnny Cueto (PM) struck out 6 and allowed 3 earned runs to earn the 7-inning win.

Duds: Asdrubal Cabrera (FF) did it all for the Mets: a single, walk and run... and a caught stealing and error. It all adds up to -0.5, so thanks for nothing. Brett Anderson (PYM) got lit up by... the Phillies? Yikes. He allowed 7 earned runs and struck out 1 in a 1.1-inning loss.

Week 4: The Check Swing

Is 59 points the highest weekly total for a position player in FBLG history?
Is there an amateur historian willing to parse the FBLG encyclopedia to find out? 

Parity is the name of the game in FBLG this year. Eight of the league's 10 teams have a record of 2-2. It was a great week to have star players from the Nationals, Diamondbacks and Dodgers, as 9 of the FBLG teams' leading scorers in Week 4 came from those clubs. 

1. Bodysuit Man (822.5 points, 4-0, last week 1): Adam's team is our league's top scoring team and has allowed the fewest points. That's how you become FBLG's only 4-0 team. Bodysuit Man posted 230.8 points this week, led by Patrick Corbin (31.3), Charlie Blackmon (29) and Wil Myers (28). But the news isn't all good for the assistant to the traveling secretary: Adam Eaton (27) blew out his knee and Noah Syndergaard (-4.7) tore a lat muscle. 

2. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (727 points, 2-2, last week 5): The commissioners have improved with each passing week, and the eruption from Trea Turner (59) was a big part of that in Week 4. The injuries are piling up, though, with Yoenis Cespedes, Joc Pederson, Jon Gray and Hyun-Jin Ryu on the DL. Matt Harvey (-3.7) wasn't even the worst Mets pitcher this week, which is saying something. 

3. Pitch! You Blockhead (711 points, 2-2, last week 4): Ho hum, here's another big performance from Eric Thames (23.5). Jacob deGrom (21), Nolan Arenado (19) and Mark Reynolds (18.5) did their part for Scott's team, but it wasn't enough in a loss to Quirkin'. Another FBLG theme for this week is starting pitchers who got lit up, and PYB's offering is Chad Kuhl (-3.3). 

4. Lawyers Guns and Money (707.3 points, 2-2, last week 3): It was a strange week for Matt's Fightin' Zevons. Bryce Harper (32.5) and A.J. Pollock (29.5) did more than their fair share, but the team was bogged down by the likes of A.J. Ramos (1), Jimmy Nelson (-1) and Willson Contreras (0). In an odd coincidence, Matt's top 3 pitchers (Jeremy Hellickson, Vince Velasquez and John Lackey) each went at least 6 innings and earned wins yet posted scores no higher than 11.3. 

Noah Syndergaard declined to get an MRI,
then went out and got seriously injured.
We're naming him our Dud of the Week
and sending him back to middle school.

5t. Project Mayhem (690.8 points, 2-2, last week 6): Kris Bryant put up 32 points for Bill and wasn't even close to being his leading scorer. What does that mean? It means Ryan Zimmerman (40) is back to being a middle-of-the-lineup threat. Jose Peraza (4) and Antonio Senzatela (0) were underwhelming, though. PM throttled the Sons of Clemente by about 75 points this week, and they now find themselves tied in points. Spooky, right? 

5t. Clemente’s Bucs (690.8 points, 2-2, last week, 2): Kenley Jansen (26.7), Clayton Kershaw (18) and Justin Bour (16.5) were awfully good for Ray this week. Everyone else? Barfaroo. Looking at you, Amir Garrett (-7.7), Aledmys Diaz (1.5), Stephen Strasburg (3), J.T. Realmuto (7), Eugenio Suarez (7) and Dee Gordon (8.5). 

7. Fresh Fish (671.3 points, 2-2, last week 8): Rick got enormous output from Daniel Murphy (39), Anthony Rendon (35), Matt Kemp (25.5) and Yasmany Tomas (20.5). It didn't matter, though; it was the wrong week to face Bodysuit Man. The difference was the pitching: Rick got 24 points from his hurlers, with only Adam Wainwright (11.3) scoring more than 4.3. 

8. Arbitration Losers (656 points, 2-2, last week 7): Paul Goldschmidt (32.5) was the only standout on Tim's team this week, so we'll spend most of this space poking fun at Tim for having Jeff Mathis on his roster. Mathis actually homered for the Losers, but he somehow managed only 2 points for the week. Is the moniker "Premium" meant to be sarcasm, like "Huey Lewis' Greatest Hits"?  

9. The Rookies (632.8 points, 2-2, last week 10): Henry's team was a 4-man wrecking crew against LGM. Zack Greinke (33) struck out 20 batters in 12 innings to lead the charge. On offense, Chris Owings (29), Ender Inciarte (28) and Freddie Freeman (25) put up points by the truckful. If you can win when Max Scherzer (5) and Jon Lester (2.7) disappoint while taking losses, you've got it made. 

10. The Misfits (571 points, 0-4, last week 9): Just about everything is going wrong for Reid's team. Sluggers Giancarlo Stanton (9) and Adrian Gonzalez (9) aren't slugging, closer Shawn Kelley (2) might not really be a closer, the starting pitchers (17, collectively) are struggling, and up-and-comers Stephen Piscotty (11.5) and Javier Baez (5) aren't doing much.  

Week 4: Sunday's Roundup

The Nationals scored 23 runs against the LOLMets on Sunday, and Anthony Rendon drove in almost half of them. 

Studs: Anthony Rendon (FF) got jealous of the monster numbers being put up by Trea Turner and Ryan Zimmerman, so he went 6 for 6 with 3 homers, a double, 5 runs and 10 RBIs. That's a cool 25-point day if you're keeping score at home. Before today, Rendon had 5 RBIs, 2 extra-base hits, 0 homers and 5 runs all season. Speaking of Zimmerman, he's making more appearances on this list this season than he did from 2014-16 combined. Zim (PM) went 3 for 5 with a double, 2 RBIs and 3 runs. Matt Wieters (PM) went 3 for 4 with 2 homers, 4 RBIs and 2 walks. Bryce Harper (LGM) homered, singled, walked twice and scored 4 runs. Hyun-Jin Ryu (Q) fanned 9 and allowed 1 run in a 5.1-inning win. Adam Duvall (BM) went 4 for 5 with 3 doubles, 2 runs and an RBI. Matt Carpenter (BM) doubled twice, drove in 3, walked and scored. Jay Bruce (AL) was a triple short of a cycle and drove in 2. Justin Bour (CB) went 4 for 5 with a homer, a double and 6 RBIs. 

Duds: Noah Syndergaard (BM) decided he didn't need an MRI on his arm, then proceeded to get knocked around before leaving the game with an arm injury. He allowed 5 runs and struck out 2 in a 1.1-inning loss. Mark Melancon (AL) allowed 2 runs while striking out 1 in 1 inning and blowing the save. Addison Russell (M) went 0 for 4 with an error. Curtis Granderson (R) went 0 for 3 with an error. Chris Owings (R) came off the went and went 0 for 2 with an error. 

Week 4: Saturday's Roundup

Matt Kemp points to the sky after one of his
many home runs against the Brewers. 

Studs: Matt Kemp (FF) homered 3 times and drove in 5, becoming the first Brave to go deep 3 times in a game since Mark Teixeira. Wil Myers (BM) hit a homer in San Francisco that still hasn't landed, singled twice, drove in 3, scored twice and stole a base. Freddie Freeman (R) doubled, singled twice, stole a base, drove in a run and scored twice. Ryan Zimmerman (PM) went 3 for 4 with yet another homer and 3 RBIs. Michael Conforto (PM) went 3 for 4 with 2 homers, 3 RBIs and a stolen base.

Dud: Jimmy Nelson (LGM) allowed 5 runs and struck out 2 in a 5-inning loss (see Kemp, Matt).

Note: The Reds and Cardinals were postponed by rain. No makeup date has been set.