Week 18: Friday Roundup

Francisco Cervelli's career slugging percentage is .384, but it's .467 this season. Has he been hanging out with a certain outfielder from Milwaukee?

Anthony DeSclafani's nickname
 is "Disco." Does "Disco" Dan
Haren know about this?

STUDS: Nick Markakis (FDD) doubled twice, walked, drove in 3 and scored 3 runs. Francisco Cervelli (PM) homered, singled twice, drove in 5 and scored twice. Anthony DeSclafani (PM) struck out 9 and got the win in 7 shutout innings. Zack Wheeler (PM) fanned 8 and allowed 2 runs in a 7-inning win. Buster Posey (FF) went 4 for 5 with 3 RBIs and a run.

DUDS: Freddy Peralta (BM) allowed 7 runs and struck out 3 in a 3-inning loss. Jeremy Hellickson (M) was well on his way to a Studs-worthy performance, but he paid the price for a lack of command. Despite not allowing a hit, Hellickson-in-a-Cellickson walked 4 and allowed 2 runs in a 5.2-inning no-decision in which he struck out 3. Throw some strikes, Jeremy.

Week 18: Thursday Roundup

Kirby Yates (center, we think) is from Hawaii. We won't tell you what team he pitches for... either you know or you don't.

STUD: The exquisitely named Kirby Yates (FDD) struck out 3 in a scoreless inning to notch the vulture win.

DUDS: Evan Longoria (M) singled, walked and erred. HEY! WADE! Davis did it again: 3 earned runs and the loss in 0.1 innings. HEY! ROCKIES! You might want to find another guy. Corey Knebel (PYB) said, "oh yeah Wade? Check this out:" 0.0 innings, 4 earned runs and the loss. He did it by walking three batters - three PADRES batters - then giving up an infield single for a run. He was then "relieved" by Joakim Soria, who gave up a grand slam to Hunter Renfroe. Hilariously inept work there, Brewers.

LET'S LOOK AT THAT IN PICTURE FORM:
  

THE PLAYOFF RACE: The only playoff spot to be determined is the battle for fourth place between Project Mayhem and BodySuit Man. Through Thursday, PM is at 76.5 and BM is at 63.7.

It's Friday, Manny. Relax a bit.

Week 18: Wednesday Roundup

We're almost positive that's not how you're supposed to slide into second, Harrison Bader.

STUDS: Patrick Corbin (FF) struck out 9 in a 7.1-inning win, because of course he did. David Peralta (R) had a triple, 3 singles, 2 runs and 2 RBIs. Brandon Nimmo (CB) - who is a Met, don't forget - had 3 doubles, 3 runs and 3 RBIs. In the same game! Tyler Flowers (FDD) homered, singled twice, scored twice and drove in 2. He's on our team, and we're as surprised to see his name here as you are. Jacob deGrom (FDD) picked up his first week since June 18, striking out 10 and allowing 0 runs in 6 innings. He is now 6-7 with a 1.77 ERA and a 0.96 WHIP. Mike Foltynewicz (PYB) struck out 7 and allowed 1 earned run in a 5.2-inning win.

DUDS: Jonathan Villar (PM) got that Oriole stank on him now, going 0-fer with an error. Nolan Arenado (PM) scored a run and made an error. Rhys Hoskins (CB) erred while doing nothing against Patrick Corbin, our finest living left-handed pitcher. Addison Russell (AL) also went 0-fer with an error as the Cubs were... shut out.... by..... the Royals. Yes, the Royals. Shut out.

SPECIAL MENTION: German Marquez (PYB) struck out 10 and allowed 10 hits in a loss to the Pirates. That just seems like the kind of thing you might want to know about - it can't have happened that often in baseball history, right? Also... he ended up with 10 points. Which seems fitting.

Maybe this explains why deGrom hasn't gotten wins this year?

Week 18: Tuesday Roundup

In the span of a couple weeks, Braves broadcaster Joe Simpson has pissed off the Dodgers for questioning their batting practice attire, and now the Nats by suggesting that Juan Soto is older than 19. Next stop for Joe: the 2020 presidency!

STUDS: Madison Bumgarner (R) struck out 7 in 7 shutout innings before his bullpen barfed up the win. Juan Soto (PM) homered, singled twice, walked 3 times, scored twice and drove in 2 in a doubleheader. Jameson Taillon (PM) tossed a complete game, striking out 3 and allowing 2 runs to earn the win.

DUDS: Maikel Franco (FF) - at long last finding his way back onto his natural list - went 0-fer with an error. Welcome back, Maik! Steven Souza (BM) singled and erred. Is it just me, or are outfielder errors the absolute worst? Josh Hader (BM) allowed 2 runs and took the loss in 1.1 innings. Jonathan Schoop (M) singled and scored, but also made two errors.

BONUS DUD: The Diamondbacks defense. All of it. (Hey, look, it's Souza's error!)

Week 17: The Check Swing

Since Jacob deGrom no longer has his flowing locks, we're turning our lonely eyes to Jon Gray.

It’s been a busy couple of days in the Commissioners’ Office, so this blog will be shorter than usual. It’s annoying that life gets in the way sometimes, but so it goes.

FBLG saw just a couple of minor changes in the overall points standings this week, and 7 of our 8 playoff berths have been decided. We also have three teams within 50 points of our points leaders.

On the Vladimir Guerrero side, Fasano Don't Dance and Arbitration Losers are tied atop the division and have clinched playoff berths. The Misfits have clinched a spot and remain one game back, and Project Mayhem and BodySuit Man are tied for fourth — battling for the final playoff spot. 

On the Chipper Jones side, division winner Fresh Fish, Stable Geniuses, Pitch You Blockhead and The Rookies have clinched playoff spots. Clemente's Bucs has been eliminated. 

The scoreboard

1. Fresh Fish** (3202.8 points, 10-7, last week 1): Rick’s team scored only 155 points in a loss to The Misfits, which allowed the rest of the field to catch up a bit. Javier Baez (29.5), Carlos Gonzalez (22) and Justin Bour (15) combined to hit 8 of the Fish’s 9 homers, and Max Scherzer (19) and Patrick Corbin (16) pitched well in wins. But Kenta Maeda (3) allowed 9 runs in 10 innings in a pair of losses. Matt Kemp (2) and Scooter Gennett (5.5) were no-shows as well. 

2. Fasano Don't Dance** (3181.5 points, 11-6, last week 3): The commissioners are finding that pitching wins are hard to come by, but the staff still put up 73.7 points in a blowout win against The Rookies. Every starting pitcher reached double figures for the week, led by Jack Flaherty (23.3) in a double-start week. Ronald Acuna (24.5) was the only hitter who had a big week, but the rest of the lineup showed balance. 

Kenta Maeda walks off the mound
with that guy from "Pawn Stars."

3. Stable Geniuses** (3173 points, 8-9, last week 2): It was a good week for Matt’s club, but the offense just couldn’t keep up with Project Mayhem’s. Trea Turner (28.5) stole 6 bases and scored 8 runs. Cody Bellinger (18) drove in 6 runs on 4 hits and added 4 walks. Tanner Roark (wait, really?) racked up 31 points in a pair of wins. Too bad Sean Newcomb didn’t pitch all week, which might have been the difference between a win and a loss. 

4. Project Mayhem (3159 points, 8-9, last week 4): Bill’s team is as dangerous as any in FLBG, but PM’s quest for a playoff berth will go down to the final week. The PM offense posted 142.5 points in a win against SG, led by Nolan Arenado (24), Juan Soto (22.5) and Ben Zobrist (21.5). Zack Wheeler (21) showed that he’s too good for the Mets, and Aaron Nola (19) pitched well twice but couldn’t earn a win. Raisel Iglesias (-1) appears to be disappointed that he’s still with the Reds.

5. Arbitration Losers** (3065.2 points, 11-6, last week 5): In another close Week 17 matchup, Tim’s team held on for a 3.2-point win against the Bucs. Julio Teheran (19.7 in 2 starts) and Cole Hamels (19) were good, but Jon Lester (2) and Andrew Suarez (-1) were bad. Matt Carpenter (36) went berserk with the bat, hitting 4 homers among his 11 hits, walking 8 times, scoring 7 runs and driving in 7. Bryce Harper (27) showed signs of emerging from his months-long slump. 

6. Pitch You Blockhead** (3062.5 points, 7-10, last week 6): Scott’s team had a good week but wasn’t able to keep up with BM. PYB didn’t have any double starts, but some bad luck led to the pitchers going 1-2 despite allowing 7 earned runs in 30 innings. Apparently, these guys got the Mets treatment. Anthony Rendon (24.5) was the top hitter, collecting 9 hits and driving in 8 runs. Asdrubal Cabrera (17.5), Yasmani Grandal (17.5) and Anthony Rizzo (16.5) each homered twice. 

7. The Misfits** (3037.3 points, 10-7, last week 7): A big week from Reid’s offense put The Misfits past our points leaders. Trevor Story (29.5) homered 4 times and drove in 11, and Christian Yelich (29.5) pushed his way into the Top 5 scorers among position players. Eric Hosmer (22) might have set a new season high for Padres hitters. On the mound, Anibal Sanchez (19) and Clayton Kershaw (16) were good in victories, but Wade Davis (-6) was a train wreck, blowing 2 saves and taking 2 losses. 

He's not just a member of the
Hair Club for Idiots on Twitter.
He's the president.

8. BodySuit Man (2887.9 points, 8-9, last week 9): Adam’s team got some great pitching to put up a big number and beat PYB. Jon Gray (30.3) has been fantastic since his brief demotion to Triple-A, and Freddy Peralta (26) might be the ace the Brewers need. Jake Arrieta (18) picked up a W, and Josh Hader (16.3) earned a win and a save. Imagine if Noah Syndergaard (5) had done anything. Steven Souza (22.5) had the only offensive performance of note. 

9. The Rookies** (2858.5 points, 7-10, last week 8): Sometimes your team just flat-out takes a week off, and that’s what happened to Henry. The pitchers totaled 15 points in only 21 innings while going 0-4. Eugenio Suarez (19) and Freddie Freeman (18) were pretty good, but the offense still totaled only 75 points. On the bright side, Felipe “Vazquez” (9) picked up a pair of saves. 

10. Clemente's Bucs (2834.8 points, 5-12, last week 10): Ray got a bunch of mid-range performances from his players in a loss to AL. Rhys Hoskins (20) was the high man, which isn’t saying much. The pitching was fine, totaling 50 points, but there were no double starts to beef things up. Manny Machado (17) and Paul Goldschmidt (15) weren’t as good as they need to be. 

** - clinched playoff spot

Is Christian Yelich a better player in Milwaukee,
or has he just lost the stench of failure from Miami?

Hitting leaders after Week 17

1. Javier Baez (FF) 355.5

2. Nolan Arenado (PM) 351

3. Freddie Freeman (R) 342.5

4. Christian Yelich (M) 337.5

5. Nick Markakis (FDD) 334.5

Pitching leaders after Week 17

1. Max Scherzer (FF) 384.7

2. Aaron Nola (PM) 304

3. Jacob deGrom (FDD) 293.3

4. Patrick Corbin (FF) 291.3

5. Zack Greinke (R) 285.7

Week 18: Monday Roundup

Why not just throw him in the pool? Why even have a pool if not for this exact moment?

The commishes are still working on the Week 17 Check Swing, don't you worry. In the meantime, let's get started on the last week of the FBLG regular season.

STUD: David Peralta (R) homered twice, doubled and singled. The second homer was a walk-off shot in the 14th.

DUD: JT Realmuto (AL) went 0-fer with a catcher's interference error.

Week 17: Sunday Roundup

We can't remember the last time we had to worry about an Oriole in FBLG. 

Ender Inciarte leads the NL in one category this season:
He's been caught stealing 8 times.

STUDS: Jon Gray (BM) was phenomenal against the Brewers before his bullpen "deGrommed" him. Gray struck out 8 and allowed 1 run in an 8-inning no-decision. Ender Inciarte (BM) hit a 2-run homer, singled twice and scored twice. Trevor Story (M) homered, drove in 4 and stole a base. Eric Hosmer (M) tripled, singled twice, drove in 2 and scored. Baltimore's new hero, Jonathan Villar (PM), was a triple short of a cycle, scored 3 runs, walked and stole a base. Jack Flaherty (FDD) got the win and struck out 7 in 6 shutout innings.

DUD: Jonathan Schoop (M) singled and erred.

Week 17: Saturday Roundup

To be completely honest, we here at FBLG headquarters had forgotten about Steven Souza.

Trevor Story holds up a finger for each of the homers he hit.

STUDS: Matt Carpenter (AL) homered, doubled, scored twice and walked twice. Zack Wheeler (PM) struck out 9 and didn't allow a run in a 7-inning win. In a doubleheader, Juan Soto (PM) doubled twice, singled twice, walked and scored 4 runs. In the same 2 games, Jose Peraza (SG) homered, doubled, singled twice, scored 3 runs and was caught stealing. Jedd Gyorko (SG) doubled twice, drove in 3, walked and scored a run. Trevor Story (M) hit a pair of 2-run homers. Freddy Peralta (BM) struck out 8 and allowed 2 runs in a 6-inning in. Steven Souza (BM) tripled, doubled, drove in 3 and scored twice.

DUDS: J.T. Realmuto (AL) went 0 for 3 with an error. Elias Diaz (R) singled and erred. Andrew Suarez (AL) struck out 5 and allowed 8 runs in a 5-inning loss. Tyler Anderson (SG) struck out 4 and allowed 7 runs in a 4-inning loss.