Week 16: Wednesday's Roundup

A pitcher known for devouring meatballs served up a couple to Anthony Rizzo on Wednesday. 

Studs: Anthony Rizzo (LY) hit a solo homer and a 2-run homer, both off our top Dud. Seung-Hwan Oh (HE) picked up a pair of saves, pitching 2 scoreless innings and striking out 4. Ryan Braun (AL) tripled, singled, stole a base and scored 3 times. Carlos Martinez (LGM) singled and struck out 5 while allowing 2 runs in a 7-inning win. 

Duds: Bartolo Colon (FF) allowed 6 runs and struck out 1 in a 4.1-inning loss to the Cubs. Trevor Story (HE) went 0 for 4 with 3 Ks and an error. 

Scores

Arbitration Losers 64, Fresh Fish 36

Rookies 77, Retire 21 54

Misfits 71, The Lumbar Yard 36

Pitch You Blockhead 60, Goldschmidt Happens 53

Hundley Eyes 81, Lawyers, Guns & Money 67

Week 16: Tuesday's Roundup

Former Angels legend Tyler Chatwood makes Adam pay the price for his Halos fandom.

Studs: Jake Arrieta (R) doubled and allowed 1 run while fanning 8 in 7 innings. Scott Kazmir (M) did the same on the mound as Arrieta, except he got the win and didn't have any hits. 

Duds: Jonathan Villar (R) went 0 for 4 with 2 errors. Tyler Chatwood (LY) allowed 7 runs to the Rays and fanned 1 in a 3-inning loss. Bryce Harper (LY) went 0 for 4 with an error. Hector Rondon (M) allowed a run and took the loss in his 1-strikeout inning. 

Note: The Padres-Cardinals game was postponed by rain. 

Scores

Arbitration Losers 34, Fresh Fish 23

Rookies 54, Retire 21 27

Misfits 61, The Lumbar Yard 10

Goldschmidt Happens 42, Pitch You Blockhead 22

Hundley Eyes 64, Lawyers, Guns & Money 33

Week 16: Monday's Roundup

Billy Hamilton slides into fantasy relevance.

Studs: Jose Fernandez (HE) allowed 2 runs and struck out 14 Phillies in a strange 6.1-inning no-decision. Trevor Story (HE) hit a 2-run homer, singled, scored twice and stole a base. Billy Hamilton (HE) had 3 singles, 3 steals and 2 runs. Joey Votto (AL) had a 2-run homer and an RBI single and scored twice. 

Duds: Yoenis Cespedes (FF) went 0 for 3 with an error. Wil Myers (PYB) went 0 for 4, striking out 3 times against Mike Leake and once against Matt Bowman. 

Scores

Arbitration Losers 13, Fresh Fish 5

Rookies 16, Retire 21 9

Misfits 31, The Lumbar Yard 10

Goldschmidt Happens 11, Pitch You Blockhead 8

Hundley Eyes 44, Lawyers, Guns & Money 24

Week 16 Transactions and Lineups

Henry benched one half of the Locke Niese Monster and activate the other half. We forget which.

Players acquired

• Goldschmidt Happens sign OF Michael Conforto (July move #2).
• Lawyers, Guns & Money steal C Travis d'Arnaud (bonus move) from Retire 21.

Players released

• SS Danny Espinosa

Players unprotected/available to be stolen

• none on Fresh Fish
• 3B Aaron Hill (Rookies) 
• none on The Lumbar Yard
• 2B Cesar Hernandez (Goldschmidt Happens)
• 2B Kelby Tomlinson (Misfits)
• SP James Shields (LG&M)
• none on PYB
• none on Arbitration Losers
• RP Trevor Rosenthal (Hundley Eyes)
• RP Fernando Rodney (Retire 21)

Please email the commish by first pitch Saturday to change your unprotected player.

• SP Brandon Finnegan (Rookies) and SS Trea Turner (FF) are also available to be stolen after spending four weeks on the bench.

Lineup changes

• Fresh Fish: Bench SP Tom Koehler and OF Yasmany Tomas; activate SP Clayton Kershaw (from DL) and OF Jayson Werth.
• Rookies: Bench SP Jon Niese; activate SP Jeff Locke.
• The Lumbar Yard: Bench SP Jeremy Hellickson; activate SP Tyler Chatwood..
• Goldschmidt Happens: Bench SP Michael Wacha; place OF Trayce Thompson on DL; activate SP Matt Wisler and OF Michael Conforto..
• Misfits: Bench C Yasmani Grandal; activate C Derek Norris.
• Lawyers, Guns & Money: Bench 1B Justin Bour, SP James Shields and SP Kyle Hendricks; move Buster Posey from C to 1B; activate C Travis d'Arnaud, SP Carlos Martinez and SP Aaron Nola.
• Pitch You Blockhead: Bench SP Jeff Samardzija; activate SP Christian Friedrich.
• Arbitration Losers: Bench SP Matt Garza; activate SP Jameson Taillon (from DL).
• Hundley Eyes: Bench SP Kenta Maeda and SP Patrick Corbin; activate SP Jose Fernandez and SP Noah Syndergaard.
• Retire 21: None.

Week 15: The Check Swing

The team with Peter Bourjos in a starting role moved up 3 spots in the rankings this week. Go figure.

1. Fresh Fish (2,630 points, 9-6, last week 1)

2. Pitch You Blockhead (2,587 points, 8-7, last week 5)

3. Lawyers, Guns & Money (2,583 points, 9-6, last week 3)

4. Hundley Eyes (2,575 points, 7-8, last week 2)

5. Arbitration Losers (2,547 points, 6-9, last week 4)

6. The Lumbar Yard (2,538 points, 10-5, last week 7)

7. Retire 21 (2,478 points, 7-8, last week 6)

8. Rookies (2,464 points, 6-9, last week 8)

9. Misfits (2,433 points, 8-7, last week 9)

10. Goldschmidt Happens (2,242 points, 5-10, last week 10)

Week 15: Sunday's Roundup

I know it's just the Phillies, but you can still smile, Jacob.

Studs: Robbie Ray (LY) doubled, scored and got the win while striking out 7 in 7 shutout innings. Corey Seager (LY) and Justin Turner (M) did most of their damage off the Arizona bullpen once Ray hit the showers. Turner had a 2-run single and a 2-run homer. Seager doubled 3 times, scored twice and drove in 1. Starling Marte (R) stole a base, singled, doubled home a run and hit the game-winning homer in the 18th inning. Took ya long enough, Starling. Jacob deGrom (PYB) singled, scored, struck out 7 and threw a 1-hitter against the Phillies. The only Philadelphia hit was by pitcher Zach Eflin. 

Duds: Adeiny Hechavarria (FF) went 1 for 4 with an error. Brandon Crawford (AL) went 0 for 4 with an error. 

Scores

Fresh Fish 80, Retire 21 52

The Lumbar Yard 115, Rookies 80

Misfits 82, Goldschmidt Happens 54

Pitch You Blockhead 125, Hundley Eyes 70

Lawyers, Guns & Money 96, Arbitration Losers 82

Week 15: Saturday's Roundup

Jake Lamb had 3 extra-base hits, and this is the only photo of him from Saturday's game. No wonder journalism is dead.

Studs: Jake Lamb (LY) tripled, doubled twice, drove in a run and scored. Adam Wainwright (LY) struck out 5 in shutting out the Marlins. Tanner Roark (LY) had an RBI single, earned the win and struck out 5 in 8 shutout innings. Jason Hammel (FF) struck out 7 and allowed 1 run in a 6-inning win. Jimmy Nelson (PYB) had a 2-run single, got the win and fanned 7 in 7 shutout innings. 

Duds: Santiago Casilla (R21) pitched to 4 batters, didn't retire any of them, allowed 2 runs, blew the save and took the loss. We call that a "Rosenthal." Asdrubal Cabrera (GH) and Josh Harrison (R21) each went 1 for 4 with an error. Yasiel Puig (PYB) went 0 for 5 and was caught stealing. 

Scores

Fresh Fish 64, Retire 21 32

The Lumbar Yard 70, Rookies 48

Misfits 56, Goldschmidt Happens 32

Pitch You Blockhead 95, Hundley Eyes 47

Arbitration Losers 72, Lawyers, Guns & Money 61

Week 15: Friday's Roundup

Stephen Strasburg shows solid form — and nice socks — while dropping down a squeeze bunt. 

Studs: Paul Goldschmidt (GH) homered, singled, drove in 3, scored twice and stole a base. Stephen Strasburg (R) scored, drove in a run, struck out 6 and allowed 1 run in an 8-inning win. He's now 13-0 this year. Anthony DeSclafani (PYB) singled and fanned 8 while allowing 3 runs in a 6-inning win. 

Duds: Jake Lamb (LY) did a lot of Jake Lamb things: he singled twice and drove in a run, but he also made a pair of errors. Speaking of third basemen who like to kick the ball around, Eugenio Suarez (R) went 0 for 3 with an error. Buster Posey (LGM) went 0 for 4 with an error. Seung-Hwan Oh (HE) struck out 2 in his 1 inning of work, but he allowed a run and took the loss. 

Scores

Fresh Fish 32, Retire 21 17

Rookies 31, The Lumbar Yard 11

Misfits 27, Goldschmidt Happens 25

Pitch You Blockhead 49, Hundley Eyes 24

Arbitration Losers 44, Lawyers, Guns & Money 41

Week 15 Transactions and Lineups

Mike Fulty... Faulty... Foltynewicz has found an FBLG home.

Players acquired

• The Lumbar Yard steal 3B Jake Lamb (July move #1) from Misfits.
• Goldschmidt Happens steal OF Trayce Thompson (July move #1) from The Lumbar Yard.
• Misfits sign SP Mike Foltynewicz (July move #1).
• Arbitration Losers sign 3B Jose Reyes (July move #2).
• Retire 21 sign OF Denard Span (July move #3).

Players released

• SP Julio Urias
• OF Ryan Raburn
• C Nick Hundley
• SP Shelby Miller
• OF Brandon Nimmo

Players unprotected/available to be stolen

• none on Fresh Fish
• 3B Aaron Hill (Rookies) 
• none on The Lumbar Yard
• 2B Cesar Hernandez (Goldschmidt Happens)
• 2B Kelby Tomlinson (Misfits)
• SP Aaron Nola (LG&M)
• none on PYB
• none on Arbitration Losers
• RP Trevor Rosenthal (Hundley Eyes)
• RP Fernando Rodney (Retire 21)

Please email the commish by first pitch Saturday to change your unprotected player.

• C Travis d'Arnaud (R21) and SS Trea Turner (FF) are also available to be stolen after spending four weeks on the bench.

Lineup changes

• Fresh Fish: None.
• Rookies: None.
• The Lumbar Yard: Bench 3B Jung-Ho Kang and SP Tyler Chatwood; move Hyun-Jin Ryu from DL to bench; activate 3B Jake Lamb and SP Robbie Ray.
• Goldschmidt Happens: Activate SP Gerrit Cole (from DL) and OF Trayce Thompson.
• Misfits: Bench C Derek Norris; place SP Matt Harvey on DL; activate C Yasmani Grandal and SP Mike Foltynewicz.
• Lawyers, Guns & Money: Bench SS Danny Espinosa, OF Odubel Herrera and SP Carlos Martinez; place 1B Ryan Zimmerman on DL; activate 1B Justin Bour, SS Addison Russell, OF Giancarlo Stanton and SP Adam Conley.
• Pitch You Blockhead: Bench SP Colin Rea; activate SP Jimmy Nelson.
• Arbitration Losers: Bench 3B Conor Gillaspie and SP Gio Gonzalez; activate 3B Jose Reyes and SP Matt Garza.
• Hundley Eyes: Bench SP Noah Syndergaard and SP Jose Fernandez; activate SP Jon Gray and SP Patrick Corbin.
• Retire 21: Bench SP Steven Matz and SP Mike Leake; activate OF Denard Span, SP Brandon McCarthy and SP Francisco Liriano.

Week 14: The Check Swing

Yangervis Solarte is a good hitter, a versatile defender and a bit of an acrobat. 

For the first time this season, there was no movement in the rankings. On the other hand, the standings became even more of a jumbled mess with most of the teams at the bottom picking up wins. And look who's all alone in first place at 9-5: The Lumbar Yard.

1. Fresh Fish (2,550 points, 8-6, last week 1): The all-star break came at the right time for the Fish, who are suddenly riddled with injuries. Matt Holliday and Yoenis Cespedes went down this week, and Clayton Kershaw is still on the shelf. On the bright side, Hunter Pence might be back soon. 

2. Hundley Eyes (2,505 points, 7-7, last week 2): Another week, another pathetic display from a HE first baseman. Thanks for the effort, James Loney (5). Noah Syndergaard's injury is a concern, too. At least Maikel Franco (31) erupted, but the Phillies can't always play at Coors Field. 

3. Lawyers, Guns & Money (2,487 points, 8-6, last week 3): In a classic case of overmanaging, Matt cost himself a win by benching Giancarlo Stanton and Addison Russell in favor of Odubel Herrera (11) and Danny Espinosa (7). Also, injury replacement Ryan Zimmerman quickly got hurt himself. 

4. Arbitration Losers (2,465 points, 6-8, last week 4): Madison Bumgarner (40) did his best for the Losers, but it wasn't enough in a 32-point loss to the Yard. Ryan Braun (1) and Conor Gillaspie (0) hindered the cause to the best of their abilities. 

5. Pitch You Blockhead (2,462 points, 7-7, last week 5): The PYB infield did the heavy lifting in a win against the points-leading Fish: Wil Myers (22), Jean Segura (20), Zack Cozart (24) and Nolan Arenado (21). Even outfielder Angel Pagan posted a 21. 

Conor Gillaspie, our Dud of the Week, didn't
want his face to be shown on this blog.

6. Retire 21 (2,426 points, 7-7, last week 6): Clemente's Kids got big performances from top two picks Kris Bryant (26) and Andrew McCutchen (23) to take down LGM. However, Matt Carpenter (3) went on the DL, and replacement Brandon Nimmo (1) didn't do much. 

7. The Lumbar Yard (2,423 points, 9-5, last week 7): Everyone except Jeremy Hellickson (8) scored in double figures for the Yard in a huge victory. Daniel Murphy (28) and Anthony Rizzo (27) did plenty of damage, and Melvin Upton Jr. (22) continued his resurgence. 

8. Rookies (2,384 points, 6-8, last week 8): The Rookies got 3 points from Jake Arrieta and still approached 200 points for the week. Jake Peavy (23) and Stephen Strasburg picked up the slack in the rotation, and Matt Kemp (20) started strong before closing the week with 3 zeroes. 

9. Misfits (2,351 points, 7-7, last week 9): Scott Kazmir (5), Matt Harvey (2) and Jon Lester (1) folded in the Misfits' loss to the Rookies. Harvey and Gregory Polanco (8) got hurt, but at least Polanco appears to be on track to return after the break. 

10. Goldschmidt Happens (2,188 points, 5-9, last week 10): Bill's bunch came alive to knock the mouthy commissioners down a peg. Yangervis Solarte (28) and Junior Guerra (27) were the top scorers for GH, which also got 21 points from its namesake.