Week 3: The Check Swing

"Oh, Dansby Swanson! Now that father has taken ill and the bank foreclosed on the plantation, my life has been torn asunder! Please, Dansby, promise me you'll acquiesce to my every whim and support our life together as the shortstop for The Rookies. If that were to end, my darling Dansby, where shall I go? What shall I do?" "Frankly, my dear, I've been cut."

1. Bodysuit Man (591.7 points, 3-0, last week 1): Adam's team is first in points scored and has allowed the fewest points in FBLG, which explains how Bodysuit Man is FBLG's only undefeated team. BM rode a huge week from Charlie Blackmon (27) and a surprisingly large output from Wade Davis (17) to a blowout win against Arbitration Losers. 

2. Clemente’s Bucs (572.8 points, 2-1, last week, 2): Ray's team might have been able to take down LGM if not for Starling Marte's suspension and an injury to Lucas Duda (1). Jason Heyward (21.5) seems to be back on track this year, and the pitching was phenomenal with the staff combining for 84.3 points. Kudos to Ivan Nova (24), Clayton Kershaw (20), Stephen Strasburg (20) and Amir Garrett (14). 

3. Lawyers Guns and Money (548 points, 2-1, last week 6): Matt's team blew past the 200-point mark thanks to an incredible offensive display. The stars sure came out: Bryce Harper (37.5), Joey Votto (27), A.J. Pollock (27), Trevor Story (23) and Jake Lamb (23) were quite studly. Jeremy Hellickson (15) was the only pitcher with more than 6 points, but who cares?  

4. Pitch! You Blockhead (545.7 points, 2-1, last week 4): Is Eric Thames the best hitter on the planet? It sure seems that way after Scott's masher posted a 29-point week in a win against the Rookies. Mark Reynolds (18.5) continues to shine, and Christian Yelich (23) and Nolan Arenado (20.5) were up to their usual tricks. 

Ryan Zimmerman scored more points this week than
he did during the entire 2016 season. True story.  

5. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (511.8 points, 1-2, last week 8): The Sons of Huey got 34 points from Lance Lynn and 20 from Mike Foltynewicz in a 10-point win against FBLG's other winless team, The Misfits. David Peralta (26) went off, but Yoenis Cespedes (7.5) and Joc Pederson (11) got hurt. Hey, what ever happened to that Kyle Hendricks guy? 

6. Project Mayhem (498.2 points, 1-2, last week 5): Lousy pitching (26.3 combined points) led to Bill's downfall in a loss to the Fish. Ryan Zimmerman (30.5) is hitting like it's 2009, and Cesar Hernandez (18.5) performed well. However, Johnny Cueto (-3) was bitten by the Coors Field bug and Aaron Nola posted a mediocre 8-point win before going on the DL.

7. Arbitration Losers (490.2 points, 1-2, last week 3): Tim's team got big performances from Ryan Braun's chemists (23), Paul Goldschmidt (25.5) and Jay Bruce (18), but it wasn't nearly enough. The Losers got nothing from Jeff Mathis (0), Brandon Crawford (4), Carlos Martinez (4) Yasiel Puig (3) and Julio Teheran (-3).

8. Fresh Fish (481.8 points, 2-1, last week 7): Rick's team got 25 points from Chase Anderson and 19 from Dan Straily, proving that sometimes baseball makes no sense. Anthony Rizzo (29.5) and Yasmany Tomas (23.5) did the heavy lifting on offense (yep, that's a fat joke at Yasmany's expense), making up for the lameness of Matt Moore (-1), Neftali Feliz (1), Travis d'Arnaud (0) and Jayson Werth (2). 

9. The Misfits (465.5 points, 0-3, last week 10): Giancarlo Stanton (27) and Brandon McCarthy (27) nearly got Reid's team into the win column, but the Misfits were undone by a stinker from Blake Treinen (0) and a blah outing from Madison Bumgarner (6). And now Bumgarner is on the DL for the first time in his career. Ouch. 

10. The Rookies (461.2 points, 1-2, last week 9): Not even superhuman weeks from Max Scherzer (38) and Freddie Freeman (33.5) could keep Henry's team from dropping in the rankings and losing to PYB. Atlanta's Dansby Swanson (4) was so bad that he got cut and was named our Reconstruction Era Dud of the Week; teammate Tyler Flowers (1.5) did nothing but post 3 walks. Where have you gone, Damon Berryhill? 

Week 3: Sunday's Roundup

Since joining the Pirates last year, Ivan Nova has thrown 4 complete games and issued 4 walks.
Think about that for a second. 

Studs: Max Scherzer (R) struck out 9 and allowed 3 runs in an 8-inning win. Mike Foltynewicz (Q) fanned 9 and allowed 1 run in a 7-inning no-decision. Brandon McCarthy (M) struck out 6 and allowed 2 runs in a 7-inning victory. Ivan Nova (CB) allowed 1 run and struck out 7 in a 7-inning win against the Yankees. Clemente's 1960 Bucs would be proud. Gerardo Parra (R), our only offensive Stud of the day, hit a 2-run homer and added an RBI single. He also scored 2 runs. 

Duds: Raisel Iglesias (PM) allowed 2 runs — 1 earned — and committed an error while fanning 1 in 1.2 innings. Brandon Drury (Q) went 0 for 4 with an error. 

Week 3: Saturday's Roundup

Jason Heyward is still in the league? Huh. How about that? 

Studs: Willson Conteras (LGM) was a triple shy of a cycle, scored 3 runs and drove in 4. Joey Votto (LGM) also was a triple shy of a cycle; he scored twice and drove in 5. Mark Reynolds (PYB) ALSO was a triple shy of a cycle; he scored twice and drove in 4. Anthony Rizzo (FF) homered, doubled, drove in 3, scored 3 runs and walked. Jason Heyward (CB) homered, singled, drove in 4, scored twice and walked. Eugenio Suarez (CB) homered twice and singled. Yasmany Tomas (FF) homered twice and had a bases-loaded walk. It wasn't pretty, but Jake Arrieta (FF) struck out 8 and allowed 4 runs in a 6-inning win. Dan Straily (FF) struck out 14 — get your act together, Padres — and allowed 2 runs in a 7-inning no-decision. Charlie Blackmon (BM) homered, tripled, scored twice and drove in 2. Gio Gonzalez (BM) struck out 6 and allowed 1 run in a 6.1-inning win. David Peralta (Q) set an Arizona record with 4 doubles and scored 3 runs. Lance Lynn (Q) struck out 7 and allowed 1 run in a 6-inning victory. Giancarlo Stanton (M) blasted a 2-run homer and a solo homer. 

Duds: Giants pitchers are going to be happy to get the hell out of Colorado. Matt Moore (FF) allowed 6 runs, made an error and struck out 4 in a 4-inning loss. Jim Johnson (PYB) was a total mess, allowing 2 runs and fanning 2 in 0.2 inning while blowing the save and taking the loss. Javier Baez (M) went 0 for 4 with 3 Ks, a walk and an error. Ryan Braun (AL) went 0 for 3 with a walk and an error. Domingo Santana (PM) went 0 for 4 with 2 Ks and an error. Hunter Renfroe (PYB) continued his Alvarezian pace, making his 4th error of the season while going 1 for 4 with a walk and 2 Ks. 

Week 3: Friday's Roundup

What kind of day was it for the Giants? The team bus got into a fender bender, the ace forgot to check himself before
he wrecked himself, the day's starting pitcher got shelled and the awkward right fielder hurt himself being awkward. 

The FBLG blog has obtained exclusive video
of Madison Bumgarner's bike crash. 

Studs: Corey Seager (Q) went 3 for 5 with a homer and 3 RBIs. Jeremy Hellickson (LGM) struck out 5 and allowed 2 runs in a 7-inning win. Bryce Harper (LGM) hit a 2-run homer, doubled and scored twice. A.J. Pollock (LGM) was a triple shy of a cycle and scored twice. 

Duds: Starling Marte was a lock for Dud of the Week until this happened: Madison Bumgarner (M) crashed his dirtbike and will miss about 2 months with injuries to his ribs and throwing shoulder. As for Giants who actually played Friday, Johnny Cueto (PM) fell victim to the Coors Field bug, allowing 6 runs and striking out only 1 in a 5-inning loss in which he allowed the first grand slam of his career. 

Week 3: Thursday's Roundup

Hunter Renfroe's glove placement explains a lot about his proclivity for errors.

Studs: Ryan Zimmerman (PM) homered, doubled, scored twice and drove in 2. Stephen Strasburg (CB) struck out 10 and allowed 2 runs in a 7-inning win.

Duds: Hunter Renfroe (PYB) went 0-fer with an error, already the third of the year for the outfielder. Jay Bruce (AL) walked, scored and made an error.

Week 3: Wednesday's Roundup

Bryce Harper scored more points on Wednesday than he did in all of 2015. Or maybe it just seems that way. 

Studs: Joe Ross (M) finally made an appearance, and he made it count. He allowed 3 runs and struck out 7 in a 7-inning win. Addison Russell (M) went 2 for 4 with a walk-off, 3-run homer, 4 RBIs and a stolen base. Bryce Harper (LGM) played like an MVP, going 4 for 4 with a grand slam, a solo homer, a double, a stolen base, a walk and 3 runs. Clayton Kershaw (CB) struck out 10 and allowed 2 runs in a 7-inning win. Ryan Zimmerman (PM) went 3 for 5 with a grand slam, which hilariously makes Rich furious. Jay Bruce (AL) hit a 3-run homer, a 2-run homer and a double. Dexter Fowler (R) homered twice and singled. Christian Yelich (PYB) homered, singled twice, scored twice and drove in 2. 

Duds: A.J. Ramos (LGM) faced 4 hitters and retired none of them. He gave up 2 runs on 3 walks and a hit. Neftali Feliz (FF) got what we call "Blow'd Up". He allowed 4 runs in 1 inning, striking out 1, blowing the save and taking the loss. Julio Teheran (AL) allowed 7 runs and fanned 3 in a 4-inning loss. Matt Carpenter (BM) went 1 for 4 with an error. Maikel Franco (BM) went 0 for 4 with an RBI and an error. Jake Lamb (LGM) went 1 for 4 with an error. 

Week 3: Tuesday's Roundup

The next time you think about Yasmany Tomas, try singing his name to the tune of Raspberry Beret.
You can thank us later.

Studs: Max Scherzer (R) struck out 7 and allowed no runs in a 7-inning win. Nolan Arenado (PYB) homered twice, doubled and drove in 3. Shelby Miller (PYB)... wait a minute, really? are we sure? you know this is the studs list? ok, if you're sure... anyway, he struck out 5 and allowed 1 run in a 7.1-winning win. Adam Duvall (BM) homered, doubled and drove in 5. Yasmany Tomas (FF) - you know, the kind that you find in a secondhand store - homered and drove in 3. Joey Votto (LGM) homered, singled, walked twice, scored twice, drove in 2, probably yelled at someone.

Duds: Blake Treinen (M) allowed a run in 1/3 of an inning, getting pulled early from a save opportunity. That WHIP of 2.53 is very inspiring in a closer. Dansby Swanson (R) went 0-fer with an error, then had a mint julep on the veranda because his name is DANSBY SWANSON. He sounds like a Gone With the Wind character, not a shortstop. Ryan Schimpf (PYB) walked and made an error. Did you know he leads the league in walks? It's true. Neil Walker (LGM) made an error, which is unsurprising because he looks like a sack of wet flour trying to play second base.

Week 3: Monday's Roundup

Jered Weaver and the San Diego bullpen
were unable to retire Freddie Freeman
on Monday. Don't act so surprised.

Studs: Freddie Freeman (R) went 4 for 4 with 2 homers, 2 doubles and 3 RBIs. Lance Lynn (Q) struck out 5 and didn't allow a run in a 7-inning win. Ryan Braun (AL) was a triple short of a cycle, scored twice, drove in 3 and stole a base. Eric Thames (PYB) continued his MVP pace, coming within a triple of a cycle and scoring 3 runs. Robbie Ray (PYB) fanned 10 in 6 innings and allowed 1 run in a no-decision. 

Duds: Yasiel Puig (AL) went 0 for 3 with a walk and was caught stealing. Willson Contreras (LGM) came off the bench and went 0 for 1 with a walk and an error. 

Week 2: The Check Swing

The leading scorer among players who didn't hit for the cycle was ... Eugenio Suarez? That can't be right. 

1. Bodysuit Man (418.8 points, 2-0, last week 2): "Hey, it's Bodysuit Man!" Adam's team leaped to the top of the standings by shellacking the commissioners. Wil Myers hit for the cycle and posted 36.5 points, and Adam Eaton scored 22. The pitchers combined for 81.3 points, led by Gio Gonzalez's 24.3. Is this the team to beat in FBLG in 2017? 

2. Clemente’s Bucs (398.5 points, 2-0, last week, 3): Ray's team became the second 2-0 team in FBLG by cracking the 200-point barrier in a win against The Rookies. Eugenio Suarez went errorless long enough to post 33.5 points, and Andrew McCutchen (25.5) looked like his old self. Jameson Taillon (26) and Clayton Kershaw (20.3) were great, too. 

3. Arbitration Losers (364.8 points, 1-1, last week 4): You have to figure Buster Posey would have made the difference for Tim in what turned out to be a 7.4-point loss to PM. Instead, Posey went on the concussion DL. Jay Bruce (20), D.J. LeMahieu (20) and Ryan Braun (20) paced the offense, and it looks like this might be the long-awaited breakout season for Yasiel Puig (18). 

4. Pitch! You Blockhead (364.2 points, 1-1, last week 8): Scott's team also passed the magical 200-point mark thanks to a huge performance from Eric Thames (31). Jacob deGrom (25) is pitching like an ace again, and Christian Yelich (23.5) and Nolan Arenado (21.5) did what they always do. However, Seung-Hwan Oh (1) was bad enough to get cut. 

As terrible "band" EMF once sang,
"You're unbelievable. OH!"
You're also our Dud of the Week. 

5. Project Mayhem (359.8 points, 1-1, last week 6): Bill's team got into the win column with a balanced effort. Cesar Hernandez (23) and Tyler Anderson (-2) were the only players who didn't score between 10 and 18 points. A return to form for waiver pickup Ryan Zimmerman has been a nice boost for Mayhem. 

6. Lawyers Guns and Money (335.8 points, 1-1, last week 1): Matt's Fightin' Zevons came out of the gate hot but crashed hard in Week 2. Bryce Harper (30) and Jake Lamb (18.5) were offensive studs, but the starting rotation was a disappointment, with Kenta Maeda, Wei-Yin Chen, John Lackey and Vince Velasquez combining for 21 points. 

7. Fresh Fish (332.3 points, 1-1, last week 10): Not even Matt Kemp's DL trip could keep Rick's team from picking up a victory. The offense was strong, with Travis d'Arnaud (27) Asdrubal Cabrera (24.5) and Daniel Murphy (20) leading the way. Adam Wainwright wasted a pair of starts, going 0-2 and totaling 0.7 point. 

8. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (328.3 points, 0-2, last week 5): The commissioners' 138.7-point performance doesn't seem that bad until you realize that Yoenis Cespedes (30) and Matt Harvey (24.7) were the cause of most of it. Four hitters failed to reach double digits; Jon Gray, Kyle Hendricks and Lance Lynn combined for 8 points. 

9. The Rookies (296.5 points, 1-1, last week 9): With only Jon Lester (22) scoring more than 15 points, Henry's team didn't really do anything special this week. It was a bad week for current and former Diamondbacks: Zack Greinke (1), Dansby Swanson (0.5) and Gerardo Parra (2.5) were awful. We'll give Max Scherzer (10) a pass, though. 

10. The Misfits (290 points, 0-2, last week 7): Reid's team got 3 decent starts, and Stephen Piscotty (21) and Giancarlo Stanton (17) were impressive at the plate. But Joe Ross still hasn't pitched, and Adrian Gonzalez (2.5) didn't do much besides single a few times. 

Week 2: Sunday's Roundup

The Pirates need to come up with a less-obvious way to tell their
pitchers to throw over to first base.

Studs: Bryce Harper (LGM) went 3 for 5 with 2 home runs and 5 RBIs. Jameson Taillon (CB) allowed an unearned run and struck out 6 in a 7-inning win. Taijuan Walker (PM) allowed 1 run and struck out 7 in a 5-inning win. 

Duds: Giancarlo Stanton (M) went 0 for 3 with a walk and an error. Maikel Franco (BM) went 0 for 5 with an error. Addison Russell (M) went 0 for 4 with 2 Ks and an error.