Spring Training Injury Report

Don't expect to see these guys on the field at the same time, Mets fans. 

Hello, FBLG team owners! With only one week remaining until our draft, the commissioner's office figured it was finally time for the David Wright Memorial Injury Report. So without further a-Duda, here were go:

ARIZONA: SP Zack Greinke (groin) is not likely to be ready for opening day. SP Shelby Miller (elbow) is recovering from Tommy John surgery and is expected to return midseason.

ATLANTA: 3B Johan Camargo (back) is expected to be ready for opening day. OF Ender Inciarte (groin) is expected to return to game action this weekend and be fine for opening day. SP Luiz Gohara (ankle sprain) is expected to miss the first month of the season.

CHICAGO: 2B Javier Baez (hamstring) is expected to return to game action this weekend and be fine for opening day. SP Drew Smyly (elbow) is recovering from Tommy John surgery and is not expected to return until after the all-star break.

CINCINNATI: 2B Scooter Gennett (shoulder) does not need an MRI and is expected to return before opening day. SP Anthony DeSclafani (oblique) is expected to start the season on the disabled list. SP Brandon Finnegan (biceps) is expected to be on the active roster for opening day.

COLORADO: OF Gerardo Parra (hand) is on track for opening day. SP Jeff Hoffman (shoulder) is unlikely to be ready for opening day.

LOS ANGELES: C/2B Austin Barnes is finally playing in the field and is on track for opening day. SP Julio Urias (shoulder) might not return until late in the season. RP Kenley Jansen (hamstring) is expected to be ready for opening day.

Daniel Murphy isn't a Met anymore,
but he's injured like one.

MIAMI: C J.T. Realmuto (back) is getting some time off but is expected to be ready for opening day. 1B Justin Bour (back) missed a bit of time but is expected to be OK by opening day. 3B Martin Prado (knee) will start the season on the disabled list. SP Wei-Yin Chen (elbow) is not expected to be ready by opening day.

MILWAUKEE: C Stephen Vogt (shoulder) will start the season on the disabled list. SP Jimmy Nelson (shoulder) won't pitch off a mound until after the season starts; there is no timetable for his return. SP Zach Davies (oblique) is on track for opening day.

NEW YORK: 1B Dominic Smith (quad) can't run — obligatory Mets joke here — and won't be ready for opening day. INF T.J. Rivera (elbow) is recovering from Tommy John surgery and won't return soon. 3B David Wright (shoulder, back, etc.) is being held out for at least 8 more weeks. OF Yoenis Cespedes (wrist) is expected to return to game action this weekend. OF Michael Conforto (shoulder) is expected to return before the original timeframe of May 1. SP Jacob deGrom (back) appears to be caught up and might be ready for opening day.

PHILADELPHIA: SP Jerad Eickhoff (lat) will miss 8 to 10 weeks. SP Jake Arrieta got a late start to spring training and is ramping up activities. He probably won't pitch on opening day but is expected to pitch in one of the first five games.

PITTSBURGH: SP Joe Musgrove (shoulder) appears to be on track for opening day. SP Tyler Glasnow (flu) should be fine in a couple of days.

SAN DIEGO: OF Alex Dickerson (elbow) is rehabbing rather than having Tommy John surgery. His return date is unknown. SP Colin Rea (elbow, lat) has not resumed throwing, and his return date is unknown.

SAN FRANCISCO: 3B Evan Longoria (ankle, foot) should be ready for opening day.

ST. LOUIS: SP Alex Reyes (elbow) will not pitch this spring and is expected to throw only 100 innings this season. RP Luke Gregerson (oblique) hasn't pitched in a game yet and might not be the closer even if he's healthy by opening day.

WASHINGTON: 2B Daniel Murphy (knee) is recovering from microfracture surgery and is expected to return by mid-April. OF Adam Eaton (knee) is on track to be ready for opening day. OF Michael Taylor (side) has been dealing with tightness but is expected to be ready for opening day.

FBLG 2017 Season Wrapup

Cutch's rebirth this season helped lead Ray to the title.

Congratulations to Ray for capturing the clean 2017 sweep, winning the points title and the playoff championship as well. Makes up for the fact that the Pirates are now scheduled to be bad for the next decade or so. Sorry about that brief tease, Ray. Call it the curse of Jordy Mercer.

We hope you'll all be back next year! Please alert us if that is not going to be the case.

2018 Draft Order

1. Reid
2. Bill
3. Rick
4. Tim
5. Rich/Brian
6. Scott
7. Henry
8. Matt
9. Adam
10. Ray

Let's enjoy some stats and wrapup from this season first, then we'll talk about the 2018 season.

Clean-shaven and holding a fish. Yes, that's FBLG's leading scorer this year.

Leading hitters

1. Charlie Blackmon (BM) 582.5
2. Giancarlo Stanton (M) 548.5
3. Nolan Arenado (PYB) 535
4. Paul Goldschmidt (AL) 531
5. Joey Votto (LGM) 520
6. Marcell Ozuna (LGM) 499
7. Anthony Rizzo (FF) 479.5
8. Christian Yelich (PYB) 461
9. Daniel Murphy (FF) 441
10. Andrew McCutchen (CB) 437.5

So, it turns out this was a good year to have basically any Marlins outfielder. Anthony Rizzo outshone his teammate, top overall pick Kris Bryant, who finished just outside the top 10. 18 errors, Kris? Really? Even Euengio Suarez laughs at that. Nice bounceback years from Ozuna and McCutchen, and I guess Murphy is a legit hitter now? LOL Mets.

Top hitters by average: Blackmon, Bryce Harper and Adam Eaton averaged 3.7 points per game. Ray's clutch acquisition JD Martinez averaged 3.5.

We really hope that's chocolate.

Leading pitchers

1. Max Scherzer (R) 474.7
2. Clayton Kershaw (CB) 410
3. Zack Greinke (R) 409.3
4. Jacob deGrom (PYB) 406.3
5. Stephen Strasburg (CB) 393.3
6. Robbie Ray (PYB) 388
7. Gio Gonzalez (BM) 371
8. Carlos Martinez (AL) 366
9. Jimmy Nelson (LGM) 348.3
10. Alex Wood (R) 328.3

Lefties! Lefties everywhere. Yes, Henry had 3 of the league's top 10 starters, and he, Ray and Scott combined for the top 6 pitchers on this list. The top 5 are pretty unsurprising, but Ray, Gonzalez, Nelson and Wood came out of nowhere to dominate. Ray (7th round) and Gonzalez (11th) were at least drafted, which is not true of Nelson and Wood. Who was drafted? Such luminaries as Brandon Finnegan, Bartolo Colon, Chad Kuhl, Brett Anderson, Jered Weaver and Matt Harvey. And that is why baseball is amazing and stupid.

Top closers were Kenley Jansen (R), Corey Knebel (LGM), Raisel Iglesias (PM), Wade Davis (BM) and Felipe Rivero (PYB). Again: baseball=stupid.

So thank you all for a fantastic season. We always appreciate how engaged you all are, and everyone always seems to have fun.

You think you've got the new ESPN.com system all set up and then WHAM there's Brandon Phillips' ass.

Now, let's talk about the issues we ran into during our first season with ESPN.com.

• Injured players in lineups. We didn't realize that locking lineups on Monday really meant LOCKING lineups. That's ridiculous. Why would you design a system that leaves injured players in all week? 2018 proposed solution: Changing from a weekly lineup to daily to give owners flexibility. If you want to set your lineup Monday and forget about it, that's fine. But if you want to get injured guys out and shuffle around, that's fine too. Once a pitcher has pitched, he's locked in for the rest of the week - otherwise, we'll free up roster flexibility.
• Waiver order. No offense to Ray, but there's no way he should have gotten JD Martinez. Ditto Matt and Yu Darvish and Henry and Jose Quintana. ESPN defaults to a weird shuffling waiver order that gives no credence to your place in the standings. 2018 proposed solution: We're fairly certain we can lock in a waiver order that is based purely on point totals. If not, we'll come up with some sort of solution that helps the teams at the bottom of the standings when it comes to waivers.
• Too much crap on the waiver wire. With the loss of our manual roster ability came the loss of one of our more innovative systems - the UFA. The ability to stash guys on the bench without penalty meant that the waiver wire pickings were slim all year. 2018 proposed solution: We're thinking of going back to a 3-man bench and adding more transactions. We gave everyone 30 transactions and a 4-man bench this year; what about a 3-man bench and 40 transactions? Let's get nuts.

Those were the biggest issues we saw and complaints we got in the inbox. We also miss hitting points for pitchers and a few other quirks, but there's not a lot we can do about some of those. With these few tweaks, we hope to greatly improve the experience for next year.

What do you guys think? Any other major issues that we didn't address here? Any thoughts on our proposed solutions? Please send any feedback to the FBLG email account, and check your email for news about your winnings or about the fees you owe the commish.

With that, we bid the 2017 FBLG season adieu. We'll try to get the blog rolling again next season in some format that doesn't burn out both the commissioners. That format is still TBD. Thank you all again, and enjoy the playoffs!

Rich's reaction when Deka brings up Shane Victorino.

The Check Swing: Postseason edition

Rich is hard at work in the Commissioner's Office, carefully crafting the 2017 wrap-up blogs.

Weeks 23-24: The Check Swing

Ray (in bowler hat, with sweet 'stache) celebrates rambunctiously with Clemente's Bucs after another championship season. 

Well, gang, another season of FBLG is in the books. The transition to ESPN wasn't as smooth as we had hoped, but we'll address that as we progress through the offseason. We'll be seeking your thoughts and suggestions as we work to improve the technology-assisted tracking system. Today's blog will address the end-of-season standings and the final two weeks of games. Keep an eye on this blog for follow-up analysis from the Commissioners' Office, once Rich mops up all of the tears he shed during his team's disappointing season.

Final standings

George Costanza's hitting advice backfired for
Bodysuit Man in the championship round.

1. Clemente's Bucs (4578.8 points, playoff and points champion)
2. Bodysuit Man (4466.9 points)
3. Lawyers Guns and Money (4417.2 points)
4. The Rookies (4272.5 points)
5. Pitch! You Blockhead (4228.4 points)
6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (4184.9 points)
7. Arbitration Losers (4100.3 points)
8. Fresh Fish (4028.8 points)
9. Project Mayhem (3939.3 points)
10. The Misfits (3894.7 points)

Championship battle

Bodysuit Man and Clemente's Bucs were FLBG's top teams throughout the season, and we anticipated this being a dogfight till the end. Instead, it was a real dog. CB jumped out to a huge lead early, and BM never closed the gap. The addition of J.D. Martinez (55) proved to be the difference for CB in the playoffs, and the title round was no different. The Bucs outhomered Costanza 22-10 and collected 60 RBIs; BM had only 26. Dee Gordon (42), Rhys Hoskins (41.5) and Justin Bour (31.5) piled up the points as the CB offense fired on all cylinders. Having Clayton Kershaw (39) and Stephen Strasburg (26) healthy made a big difference, too. For BM, Zack Davies (5) picked the wrong time to be terrible and the hitting just wasn't potent enough. There were plenty of walks (40) and singles (46), but those aren't game-changers.

The rest

If you compare the points standings before and after the FBLG playoffs, you'll notice that only the top two teams changed positions. Does that mean the postseason was meaningless for the rest of us? Yeah, probably.

It's Rich's favorite
Domer, A.J. Pollock.

LGM defeated the Fresh Fish to claim third place in the playoffs, with A.J. Pollock (47.5) actually playing like the stud he was two years ago. Predictably, Marcell Ozuna (38) and Joey Votto (30) were awesome. Matt Harvey (-2.7) somehow found his way onto the roster long enough to make a mess. Yu Darvish (29.3) didn't allow a run in 12.1 innings, finally pitching like the guy he's paid to be. For the Fish, Travis d'Arnaud (22) homered four times but scored only five runs (LOL, Mets). Anthony Rizzo (37) was the leading scorer, and Thurston High School legend Dan Straily (31) was the top pitcher.

Arbitration Losers topped a sluggish PYB thanks to the efforts of Paul Goldschmidt (40.5), Ryan Braun (38.5), Jose Reyes (37.5) and D.J. LeMahieu (32). Julio Teheran (36) pitched well but picked up only one win because the Braves are lame. PYB's pitchers didn't pitch much or particularly well, scoring only 81.3 points across the two weeks. Much respect to Robbie Ray (26.3) and Jacob deGrom (30), though, for fanning 34 batters in 24.1 innings. Brandon Phillips (30.5) was PYB's top batter, which usually isn't a good sign.

Dud of the Week(s) A.J. Ramos looks for the nearest exit
in the New York Mets' locker room.

Quirkin' For a Livin' managed to knock off The Rookies, and here's the shocking part: The commissioners' patchwork pitching staff outperformed the Rookies' arms. Of course, most of that was the edge in the closer battle, with Brad Hand (22.3) being good and A.J. Ramos (0) being a Met. Jon Gray (50) was phenomenal, and Cody Bellinger (46.5) heated back up. Oh, there you are, Trea Turner (34). For The Rookies, Jose Quintana (51.7) and Max Scherzer (40) carried the load. Domingo Santana (44) looked great at the plate to lead the offense. Unfortunately, Jose Pirela (-1) did nothing but get caught stealing and Eduardo Nunez (DNP) filled the traditional Martin Prado role.

Project Mayhem and The Misfits were playing for ... what, pride, maybe? Or because they had to? Regardless, these guys squared off for the sixth consecutive week, and the final matchup had a score of 293.3-292.2, with PM coming out ahead. Kris Bryant (50.5), the pride of Las Vegas, did a little bit of everything. Ryan Zimmerman (27.5) reached the 30-homer/100-RBI plateau just to piss off Rich. Aaron Nola (40) and Rich Hill (35) combined to go 4-0. For The Misfits, Giancarlo Stanton (39.5) continued to blast baseballs to the stratosphere. The pitching wasn't anything to get excited about, though; the staff went 3-4 and Madison Bumgarner (24.7) was the low-output leading scorer.

Weeks 21-22: The Check Swing

Can anybody get this guy out? We know the Dodgers certainly can't. 

Championship matchup

1 Bodysuit Man v. 2 Clemente's Bucs. That's right, gang. After all that, our top 2 regular-season teams will duel for the playoff title. I guess that makes FBLG more like the NBA than MLB.

In review

Bodysuit Man 331.7, Fresh Fish 319.8: The offense wasn't great for T-Bone and the Fightin' Van Buren Boys, but it didn't have to be. Adam's pitching staff was significantly better than Rick's in this matchup, and that's why BM advanced to the title round. Zach Davies (36.7) leads the majors in wins, and teammate Chase Anderson (35.3) is pitching significantly better than he ever has. As usual, Charlie Blackmon (45.5) led the offense, and Wil Myers (44.5) emerged from his slumber to make a difference when BM needed him to. Howie Kendrick (33) hasn't hit like this in years. For the Fish, the pitching staff stunk up the joint to the tune of 34 earned runs in 49.1 innings. Edwin Jackson (18) was Rick's top hurler, which sets up a too-easy barf joke. The offense was quite impressive, though. Anthony Rizzo (45.5), Daniel Murphy (36.5), Asdrubal Cabrera (36.5) and Anthony Rendon (35.5) performed admirably.

As good as Stephen Strasburg was, Robbie Ray
was even better. 

Clemente's Bucs 383.8, LGM 335.8: The deal for J.D. Martinez appears to be the best midseason move in the majors, and the same is true in FBLG. The outfielder has carried the Clemente offense since coming to the NL, and he helped bury LGM in this matchup. Martinez (58) homered 8 times and drove in 16 runs. Still, he wasn't even the best player on Ray's team. Stephen Strasburg (64) appears to be fine after returning from injury; in the past 2 weeks, he went 3-0 with 26 strikeouts in 23 scoreless innings. CB also got big contributions from Rhys Hoskins (42), Dee Gordon (37) and Trevor Story (33.5). LGM actually outpitched the Bucs but couldn't keep up on the offensive side. Alex Avila (12), Kolten Wong (11) were disappointments, but even average weeks from those guys wouldn't have been enough. Before his shoulder exploded, Jimmy Nelson (40) was flat-out awesome, going 2-0 with 18 Ks in 12 scoreless innings.

Arbitration Losers 376.2, Quirkin' For a Livin' 351.5: The Losers outperformed the commissioners on both sides of the ball, so it's no surprise Tim's club came away with the W. The AL roster is a "who's who" of guys who will make Rich furious: D.J. LeMahieu (38.5) paced the offense, and he even ripped 6 extra-base hits! The duct tape in Michael Wacha's (46) shoulder held up long enough for him to go 3-0, and Carlos Martinez (42.7) did plenty of damage as well. Even Tim's Giants got in on the act, with Buster Posey (28.5) and Brandon Crawford (32.5) producing. For Huey Lewis and the Snooze, Scooter Gennett (46) and Nick Markakis (36.5) again were the top hitters. The pitching was underwhelming — as it has been all year — as only Zack Godley (43) and Brad Hand (29.3) did anything of note.

Our choice for Dud of the Week(s)
was a no-brainer. 

PYB 386.3, The Rookies 368: We've run out of things to say about Robbie Ray. Last year, his strikeouts went through the roof, but he was still allowing a fair amount of hits. Not this year. In this matchup for PYB, Ray (68.3) went 3-0 with 36 whiffs and 3 runs allowed in 20.1 innings. That's absurd. Jeff Samardzija (36.7) and Chad Kuhl (31) also were great, so we just don't know what to believe anymore. Christian Yelich (47.5) continues to amaze, and Nolan Arenado (37.5) was his usual self. Rich favorites Zack Cozart (36.5) and Denard Span (32) also excelled. For the Rooks, Ender Inciarte (49.5) collected 23 hits, including 19 singles. On the mound, it was all about Max Scherzer (41), Jose Quintana (29) and Zack Greinke (28). But with Ray looking like Sandy Koufax, it wasn't enough.

Project Mayhem: 339.7, The Misfits 301: Carlos Gonzalez (43) finally earned his money for PM and was Bill's top batter. Ryan Zimmerman (37) was quite studly as well, and Randal Grichuk (27) homered 4 times. Aaron Nola (31.3) was the top pitcher for PM, which also got strong weeks from Jose Urena (25.3), R.A. Dickey (24.3) and Raisel Iglesias (23). Only Rich Hill (13.7) struggled, going 0-3 for the Bad News Dodgers. The Misfits could have used better performances from Madison Bumgarner (3) and Hyun-Jin Ryu (9). You certainly can't fault Nick Williams (49), who drove in 15 runs for the Phillies. Giancarlo Stanton (30.5) homered 4 times but drove in only 5 runs.

Week 20: The Check Swing

Rhys Hoskins? Nice try, Phillies. We all know that's just a repackaged Darin Ruf. 

Well, our friends at ESPN are making this far more difficult than it needs to be. Apparently, teams' point totals don't include any points earned during the playoffs. Alrighty then. We'll take a different approach to breaking down the first week of the FBLG postseason. 

Second-round matchups

Winners: 1 Bodysuit Man v. 5 Fresh Fish

Winners: 2 Clemente's Bucs v. 3 Lawyers Guns and Money

Losers: 7 Quirkin' For a Livin' v. 8 Arbitration Losers 

Losers: 4 The Rookies v. 6 Pitch! You Blockhead

Consolation: Project Mayhem v. The Misfits

In review

Is that your orthopedic back pillow? 

1 Bodysuit Man v. 8 Arbitration Losers: Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Mantle... Costanza? Bodysuit Man came into the playoffs as FBLG's top team and certainly proved it in an opening-round win against AL. Adam's team put up 408.3 points, with Charlie Blackmon (51) and Gio Gonzalez (46.3) leading the way. Gerrit Cole (37.3) is looking ace-worthy again, and there were unexpected outbursts from Howie Kendrick (38.5) and Freddy Galvis (39). For the Losers, Jay Bruce (47) and Paul Goldschmidt (43) did some mashing at the plate. Michael Wacha (-0.7) was pretty lousy, and the Milwaukee duo of Ryan Braun (9) and Hernan Perez (8.5) was worth less than a couple of leftover bratwurst.  

2 Clemente's Bucs v. 7 Quirkin' For a Livin': The commissioners hung with the 21ers for a week, but the second week showed why the Bucs are a serious threat to go the distance. Rhys Hoskins (36.5) is apparently the greatest young slugger in baseball history, and Eugenio Suarez (53.5) absolutely went off. Starling Marte (45) ripped 18 hits, including 15 singles. All told, the Bucs hit 24 homers and drove in 68 runs. The only blight was Dud of the Week(s) Mike Leake (-7.7), who went 0-2, allowed 14 runs in 7 ugly innings and probably stole some T-shirts. For the Quirkers, Jon Gray (40.7) was phenomenal, but the rest of the pitching staff went 0-5. Greg Holland (-1.3) puked up a hairball, and Cody Bellinger (7) got hurt. When the season started, the commissioners certainly didn't count on Scooter Gennett (40) and Nick Markakis (39.5) being their top offensive performers. 

3 Lawyers Guns and Money v. 6 Pitch! You Blockhead: LGM didn't reach the 400-point mark, but it was still an impressive performance. Marcell Ozuna (52.5) had an awesome stretch and wasn't even close to being the best Miami hitter. Ozzie Albies (42.5) made contributions across the board, and Joey Votto (38) walked about a thousand times. Luis Castillo (32) fanned 24 batters and allowed only 3 earned runs in 17 innings and still went 0-2 because the Reds stink. Adam Conley (34.7) gave up a bunch of runs but got loads of run support, and Corey Knebel (35.3) was dominant in 6.1 innings. PYB, meanwhile, was good but not good enough. Christian Yelich (48) and Nolan Arenado (40) did their usual stuff, and Mark Reynolds (38.5) and Brandon Phillips (37.5) stepped up their games. The tag-team duo of Hunter Renfroe (4.5) and Denard Span (2.5) was a real letdown, though. 

Joe Maddon and Anthony Rizzo argue with an umpire
who incorrectly thought Giancarlo Stanton had the best
2-week stretch for a FBLG player. 

4 The Rookies v. 5 Fresh Fish: The only upset of the first round wasn't much of a surprise. Henry's club rode the arms of Jon Lester, Max Scherzer, Zack Greinke and Alex Wood all season long — but Scherzer (DNP), Lester (-5) and Wood (20) got hurt at the wrong time for the Rookies. Greinke (35.3) did what he could, but it wasn't enough. Freddie Freeman (36.5) and Curtis Granderson (35) led the offense, but this team needed its aces to advance. For the Fish, Anthony Rizzo (68.5) homered 4 times and drove in 21 runs. The rest of the offense combined for only 3 homers, which shows how this offense got it done in other ways. Mr. Consistency Patrick Corbin (58.7) was masterful in going 3-0; he struck out 21 and allowed 1 earned run in 23.2 innings.  

Project Mayhem v. The Misfits: Are the Misfits FBLG's best team? They've been playing like it for a while recently. Reid's club put up 404 points over the 2-week stretch thanks to an explosive offense. Giancarlo Stanton (68) homered 8 more times and drove in 18. Josh Bell (47), Javier Baez (42), Josh Harrison (40) and Gerardo Parra (40) were major forces, as well. For the struggling PM, there wasn't much to get excited about. Rich Hill (27) took a no-hitter into the 10th innings but got no run support and ended up taking the loss. Michael Conforto (18) wasn't doing much before dislocating his shoulder swinging and missing in what might be the most Mets injury ever. Cesar Hernandez (33.5) was the team's leading scorer, which probably tells you everything you need to know. 

Week 19: The Check Swing

Sorry, FBLG gang. There will be no weekly wrap-up this week. Not because we didn't feel like doing one, not because we don't care, not because we think you aren't interested in reading one. No, it's because our friends at ESPN are treating our playoffs in 2-week chunks, so there won't be any team-score updates until the end of the second week. And there are no weekly totals for the player points for us to analyze. Yes, it's both frustrating and stupid. Please send your hate mail to Bristol, Conn.

Week 18: The Check Swing

Forget about the Nationals. The real tragedy is LGM losing Bryce Harper just as the FBLG playoffs begin. 

The FBLG regular season has ended, and there's been a change at the top of the rankings. Bodysuit Man has vaulted past Clemente's Bucs and claimed the top spot in the playoffs with a record of 13-5. That allows BM to match up with Arbitration Losers, who are on a 4-game losing streak, rather than Quirkin' For a Livin', which has won 4 in a row. 

"Look who's eating at 6 o'clock ...
and updating the blog on Monday for a change." 

Here are the playoff matchups for Week 19:

1 Bodysuit Man v. 8 Arbitration Losers

2 Clemente's Bucs v. 7 Quirkin' For a Livin'

3 Lawyers Guns and Money v. 6 Pitch! You Blockhead

4 The Rookies v. 5 Fresh Fish

Consolation: Project Mayhem v. The Misfits

1. Bodysuit Man (3418.2 points, 13-5, last week 2): The Fightin' Marine Biologists storm into the postseason with a 208.7-point performance and a drubbing of LGM. Matt Carpenter (25.5) paced the offense, which provided an impressive 155 points as every player reached double figures. Gio Gonzalez (17), Gerrit Cole (17) and John Lackey (14.3) each picked up a win, and only Zach Davies (-0.3) laid an egg. 

2. Clemente’s Bucs (3406.5 points, 12-6, last week, 1): A terrible week for the Sons of LaValliere dropped Ray's team to the No. 2 spot in the rankings. Johan Camargo (0) injured his leg running onto the field — no joke — but he wasn't the only Dud on the roster. J.T. Realmuto (2.5) didn't do much of anything, and Matt Adams (4) reverted to his St. Louis form. Ivan Nova (2.3) was pretty bad, and Brent Suter (6) was unimpressive in a pair of starts. Eugenio Suarez (24.5) and Kenley Jansen (21) shined, though.

3. Lawyers Guns and Money (3346 points, 12-6, last week 3): Bryce Harper (17) shredded his knee, Willson Contreras (2.5) got hurt, Jimmy Nelson (-4.3) was terrible, Trevor Story (2) didn't do a damn thing, and A.J. Pollock (9) and Marcell Ozuna (9.5) cooled off. Not everything went wrong, though. Joey Votto (32) walked 12 times — TWELVE! He also homered twice and scored 10 runs. 

Be honest: You have no idea if this is actually
Jose Pirela, do you? 

4. The Rookies (3306 points, 10-8, last week 4): Henry's top scorer in a win against the Losers was not Max Scherzer (29), Freddie Freeman (19), Alex Wood (13), Jon Lester (9) or Zack Greinke (8.7). No, it was everyone's favorite anonymous Padre, Jose Pirela (32). Pirela's 10 hits included 3 homers and 3 doubles, and he walked 6 times as well. Meanwhile, Scherzer almost reached 30 points without even picking up a win. He struck out 19 in 14 innings and allowed 4 runs. 

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (3224.8 points, 8-10, last week 5): The Blockheads got some big performances to knock off the Fish. All-star shortstop Zack Cozart (28.5) homered 4 times, and Jacob deGrom (20.7) fanned 9 in a 6.2-inning win. Also, Kenta Maeda (25.3) was strong in a pair of outings. Oddly, Scott's Colorado hitters weren't very good: Nolan Arenado (7.5), Jonathan Lucroy (7) and Mark Reynolds (5) were disappointments.  

6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (3149.3 points, 8-10, last week 6): It's a good thing for the commissioners that the offense stepped up with 10 homers and 11 doubles because the pitching staff fell into an open manhole, got trapped in the sewer and drowned. Yes, these guys beat Clemente's Bucs in a week in which their pitchers went 0-3 with a blown save and 18 runs allowed in 26.1 innings. Well done, Mike Foltynewicz (-5.3) and Greg Holland (-6.3). 

7. Arbitration Losers (3053.5 points, 8-10, last week 8): Tim's team was a 2-man operation in Week 18, and 2 men aren't quite enough to win at baseball. Carlos Martinez (33) pitched like a stud while going 2-0, and Ryan Braun (31.5) stayed healthy long enough to rack up 15 hits. Paul Goldschmidt (18.5) blasted 3 homers — yet scored only 4 runs and drove in no one but himself. I blame Daniel Descalso and Jeff Mathis. Also, Martin Prado (Witness Protection Program) is nowhere to be found. 

Greg Holland pitched once and posted a score of
-6.3. That makes him a lock for Dud of the Week.

8. Fresh Fish (3048.2 points, 9-9, last week 7): Rick's hitters put up 73 points, and his pitchers posted 69.3. That's a terrible ratio and a recipe for a loss. Jake Arrieta (30.3) looked like his Cy Young-winning self, and Patrick Corbin (19.7) looked like, well, someone who pitches better than Patrick Corbin. On the offensive side, only Billy Hamilton (17.5) scored more than 10 points. Where are you hiding, Anthony Rizzo, Anthony Rendon, Hunter Pence and Daniel Murphy? 

9. Project Mayhem (3015.3 points, 6-12, last week 9): It figures that the two FBLG teams that were eliminated from playoff contention weeks ago combined to produce the most entertaining matchup of the week. In a back-and-forth slugfest, PM ended The Misfits' hot streak by winning 205.3-201.8. For Fight Club, Ryan Zimmerman (31) must have gotten tired of this blogger ripping him for being a first-half wonder. Zim hit 3 homers. Michael Conforto (24) managed only 4 hits, but all of them left the yard. Randal Grichuk (29) and Kris Bryant (28.5) also had big weeks for Project Mayhem. 

10. The Misfits (2897.5 points, 4-14, last week 10): Giancarlo Stanton (35.5) and Justin Turner (26.5) combined for 10 homers, but it wasn't quite enough for Reid's crew. Perhaps the lack of a closer was the difference. Of course, having no closer at all meant that The Misfits STILL outperformed the commissioners at that position in Week 18, so ...

Week 17: The Check Swing

First Kyle Schwarber, now Willson Contreras. The Cubs have clearly cornered the market on catchers who can also
kind of play the outfield but can't really catch no matter which position they're playing. 

For the second consecutive week, our rankings remain exactly the same. That's pretty boring, guys. And again, we apologize for the tardiness of The Check Swing. We believe a disgruntled former employee might have slipped this blogger a mickey last night, which led to an unusually early bedtime. 

1. Clemente’s Bucs (3273.7 points, 12-5, last week, 1): The losses of Clayton Kershaw and Stephen Strasburg proved costly for Ray in Week 17, as Clemente's Bucs played more like Kevin Young's Bucs. Talk about dark times. Ray's team scored 139.8 points and lost to Bodysuit Man, which is closing the gap between first and second place. Kenley Jansen (11) pitched only 2 innings and still was CB's top-scoring pitcher. Starling Marte (19.5) had a nice week, which means he's probably back on the juice. Matt Adams (2) played more like the Fatt Adams we remember from St. Louis. 

2. Bodysuit Man (3209.5 points, 12-5, last week 2): The top 2 teams in FBLG squared off in Week 17, and the result was far from epic. The pitching staffs combined to go 1-5, and ace relievers Wade Davis (BM) and Jansen (CB) notched only 1 save apiece. The win went to Gio Gonzalez (18), who is pitching like it's 2012 again. As usual, Chris Taylor (30.5) and Charlie Blackmon (26.5) went nuts; the rest of the BM lineup did nothing noteworthy. Although Matt Carpenter walking 7 times and getting only 1 hit — a triple — is pretty funny. 

Let's see. Tim needs a third baseman. And look
who's back in the National League! It's a match
made in 7-Eleven. 

3. Lawyers Guns and Money (3192.3 points, 12-5, last week 3): The Fightin' Zevons are now tied with CB atop the Mays Division, which has 4 teams with winning records. Try to keep up, Koufax Division. Anyway, Willson Contreras (33.5) was a beast for LGM in a win against PYB. The catcher had 10 hits, including 5 homers, and drove in 13 runs. Of course, he also made an error, which is standard fare for ContrEras. Trevor Story (3.5) kinda stunk, but Joey Votto (26.5) and Corey Knebel (18) made up for it. 

4. The Rookies (3116 points, 9-8, last week 4): Henry's team got knocked around by the red-hot Misfits, and there weren't a lot of positives. The vaunted pitching staff went 1-0, and only 2 players scored more than 13.5 points. Max Scherzer (1) left his start early, and Jose Pirela (2) made a pair of errors to shrink his already-low score. Chris Owings (DL) didn't even play. And Jon Lester (20.7) struck out a ton of guys but allowed 6 runs in 10.2 innings in a couple of no-decisions. 

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (3057.7 points, 7-10, last week 5): Jeff Samardzija (26.3) picked up 2 wins to pace the Blockheads, who got a goose egg from catcher/infielder/minor leaguer Tony Wolters. Nolan Arenado (24) was the offensive leader despite having one of his worst weeks of the season. Jonathan Villar (1) continues to be one of the worst players in the National League. Jaime Garcia (0.7) of the Braves — whoops, now he's a Twin — oh, wait, now he's a Yankee — posted a score equal to the average speed of his fastball in MPH. 

6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (2992 points, 7-10, last week 6): Huey's much-maligned pitching staff stepped up in a big way, collecting 73.3 points as every pitcher picked up a win. The offense was much more hit-and-miss, though. Cody Bellinger (22.5) homered 4 times, and Nick Markakis (19.5) keeps scoring points without doing anything particularly well. Brandon Drury (3) homered, which somehow earned him even more time on the bench because wet-noodle-swinging Daniel Descalso — whose batting average has dropped 20 points in the past 2 weeks — is swinging a hotter bat, according to manager and Mensa member Torey Lovullo. 

7. Fresh Fish (2905.8 points, 9-8, last week 7): Let's all marvel at Rick's team beating AL with a pitching staff that went 0-5. Patrick Corbin (6) posted a decent number considering that he allowed 10 earned runs in 9 innings and went 0-2. The offense was led by those famous home-run hitters: Hunter Pence (22.5), Daniel Murphy (20.5) and Anthony Rizzo (18.5) hit 2 apiece, and Billy Hamilton (17) somehow hit 1 out. 

The man on the left (.233/.341/.392) has taken the job
of the man on the right (.273/.326/.439), and the
commissioners definitely aren't bitter about it at all. 

8. Arbitration Losers (2886.5 points, 8-9, last week 8): The AL pitching staff managed to throw only 22.1 innings, which usually leads to a loss. It sure did for Tim in Week 17. Meanwhile, it's the same old story for Tim's offense: Paul Goldschmidt (31.5) very good; Martin Prado (DL) very lame. The Losers lost to the Fish by 5.2 points, so pretty much any replacement-level third baseman could have pushed AL over the top. Or even a Giants-level third baseman. Speaking of which, there's a bloated corpse in a 6XL San Fran jersey on the waiver wire... 

9. Project Mayhem (2810 points, 5-12, last week 9): Bill's club came oh-so-close to ending its lengthy losing streak but was unable to top the commissioners. PM got some impressive pitching — but LOL at the crummy Phillies being unable to get a win for Aaron Nola (16), who went 0-1 despite allowing 4 earned runs in 13 innings. Ryan Zimmerman (6) no longer looks like the Comeback Player of the Millennium, and Jedd Gyorko (4) got 3 hits, none of which went for extra bases. Hey, Kris Bryant (12)! Weren't you supposed to be the top pick in the draft? 

10. The Misfits (2695.7 points, 4-13, last week 10): For the third consecutive week, Reid's team posted the most points in FBLG. That's a pretty remarkable feat for a club that opened the year 0-12. Giancarlo Stanton (23.5) blasted 3 more homers and was The Misfits' leading scorer. Every position player reached double digits in points, and Hyun-Jin Ryu (20) had a dominant outing to lead the pitching staff. Look out, Project Mayhem! 

Week 16: The Check Swing

The Miami outfield scored more than 100 points in Week 16. 

The commissioner's office apologizes (once again) for the lateness of this week's roundup. We spent all of our free time lately preparing a speech for Bud Selig's Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Rich and I couldn't decide which version we liked better, so in the end we just declared it a tie. And with that...

If we understand ESPN's playoff setup — and how could you not grasp every nuance of ESPN's league setup? — we think we might possibly maybe know which teams are making the FBLG playoffs. With 2 weeks left in the regular season, The Misfits are 3 games out of 4th place in the Koufax Division and Project Mayhem is 3 games out of 4th place in the Mays Division. That means our playoff teams are locked in, right?

1. Clemente’s Bucs (3133.8 points, 12-4, last week, 1): You know how the kids like to say something is stupid, but they mean it's good? Yeah, we don't get it either. Anyway, last week Ray got zeroes from the injured Justin Bour and Stephen Strasburg, plus a total of minus-4 from Pirates starters Ivan Nova (4) and Jameson Taillon (-8). Yet the Bucs still posted 190 points in a win, in part because Andrew McCutchen (28.5) and J.D. Martinez (32) hit 5 homers each. That's just stupid. 

2. Bodysuit Man (3057.3 points, 11-5, last week 2): Adam's team had a week that math nerds would love: Every player's score was a whole number except for the 17.5 posted by Chris Taylor. Yeah, that's a dorky thing to point out, but we're running out of things to say about these guys when they keep winning. Oh, it's nice to see Gerrit Cole (32) finally pitching like the ace he's supposed to be. 

Our Dud of the Week can drown his sorrows
with a beverage of the same name.

3. Lawyers Guns and Money (3026.3 points, 11-5, last week 3): That LGM offense continues to strike fear in the hearts of opponents. Marcell Ozuna (34) struck again, and every other hitter reached double figures. We're still not sure about the rotation, which was led by Luis Castillo (19), who we could have sworn was a second baseman for the Marlins back in the day. Trevor Cahill (1) pitched like you would expect a chubby doofus to pitch. 

4. The Rookies (2995.2 points, 9-7, last week 4): As usual, Henry's pitching was great. The hitting wasn't up to par, though — and the Rooks lost a close one to Quirk. Zack Greinke (37) won both of his starts; Alex Wood (13), Jon Lester (14) and Max Scherzer (19) also won their starts. The blame falls on the 4 position players who failed to reach double digits, plus the unusually sluggish Freddie Freeman (11). 

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (2913 points, 7-9, last week 5): Jacob deGrom had a great week, posting 30 points in a pair of outings. But the star of the show was Christian Yelich (37.5), who homered 3 times, doubled 5 times, drove in 8 and scored 9 times. That would be a pretty good week for the Giants as a team. Unfortunately for Scott, the rest of the Blockheads hit like ... well, the Giants. 

6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (2815.2 points, 6-10, last week 6): Weird stat of the week: Nick Markakis (12) singled 5 times, doubled twice, walked 4 times ... and scored zero runs. Nice work, Braves. Beyond that, the pitching (84) was good enough to keep up with the mighty staff of The Rookies, and the uneven offense (100.5) did just enough to push the commissioners to the win. Kudos to Brandon Drury, who inexplicably has been benched to make room for Daniel Descalso and Ketel Marte. 

7. Fresh Fish (2740.8 points, 8-8, last week 7): Let's see, there has to be something good to say about the Fish in Week 16. Hmm. Fernando Rodney (4) made the most of his 1 appearance, striking out the side. Dan Straily (2) had just as many points as losses. Adam Wainwright (DL) scored almost as many points as Straily. Asdrubal Cabrera (20) made only 1 error, which beat the over/under by 6.5. 

After seeing FBLG's best team pick up J.D. Martinez,
how do you feel about ESPN's waiver rules? 

8. Arbitration Losers (2726.7 points, 8-8, last week 8): Martin Prado (DL) continues to post zeroes for Tim, and you have to wonder whether Prado would have made the difference in a loss to LGM. Ha ha, just kidding! AL lost by about 25 points, and we don't think Prado has that in him anymore. Elsewhere, Julio Teheran (-1.3) had a horrible outing and Sam Dyson (5) blew a save. 

9. Project Mayhem (2641.5 points, 5-11, last week 9): Bill had the No. 1 pick in this year's draft, but he might to have to go all-out 1998 Marlins fire sale to get the top pick in 2018. PM was once 5-5 and in the thick of things, but this club has now lost 6 in a row. But hey, at least Aaron Nola (21) and Taijuan Walker (20.7) were pretty good last week in a loss to Bodysuit Man.

10. The Misfits (2498.5 points, 3-13, last week 10): Reid's team is finally putting it all together, but it's probably too late to matter. For the second consecutive week, The Misfits cracked 200 points and are FBLG's top-scoring club. Giancarlo Stanton (33) went nuts, and 3 pitchers had a great week: Madison Bumgarner (27), Hyun-Jin Ryu (22) and German Marquez (20).