Week 19: The Check Swing

Sorry, FBLG gang. There will be no weekly wrap-up this week. Not because we didn't feel like doing one, not because we don't care, not because we think you aren't interested in reading one. No, it's because our friends at ESPN are treating our playoffs in 2-week chunks, so there won't be any team-score updates until the end of the second week. And there are no weekly totals for the player points for us to analyze. Yes, it's both frustrating and stupid. Please send your hate mail to Bristol, Conn.

Week 18: The Check Swing

Forget about the Nationals. The real tragedy is LGM losing Bryce Harper just as the FBLG playoffs begin. 

The FBLG regular season has ended, and there's been a change at the top of the rankings. Bodysuit Man has vaulted past Clemente's Bucs and claimed the top spot in the playoffs with a record of 13-5. That allows BM to match up with Arbitration Losers, who are on a 4-game losing streak, rather than Quirkin' For a Livin', which has won 4 in a row. 

"Look who's eating at 6 o'clock ...
and updating the blog on Monday for a change." 

Here are the playoff matchups for Week 19:

1 Bodysuit Man v. 8 Arbitration Losers

2 Clemente's Bucs v. 7 Quirkin' For a Livin'

3 Lawyers Guns and Money v. 6 Pitch! You Blockhead

4 The Rookies v. 5 Fresh Fish

Consolation: Project Mayhem v. The Misfits

1. Bodysuit Man (3418.2 points, 13-5, last week 2): The Fightin' Marine Biologists storm into the postseason with a 208.7-point performance and a drubbing of LGM. Matt Carpenter (25.5) paced the offense, which provided an impressive 155 points as every player reached double figures. Gio Gonzalez (17), Gerrit Cole (17) and John Lackey (14.3) each picked up a win, and only Zach Davies (-0.3) laid an egg. 

2. Clemente’s Bucs (3406.5 points, 12-6, last week, 1): A terrible week for the Sons of LaValliere dropped Ray's team to the No. 2 spot in the rankings. Johan Camargo (0) injured his leg running onto the field — no joke — but he wasn't the only Dud on the roster. J.T. Realmuto (2.5) didn't do much of anything, and Matt Adams (4) reverted to his St. Louis form. Ivan Nova (2.3) was pretty bad, and Brent Suter (6) was unimpressive in a pair of starts. Eugenio Suarez (24.5) and Kenley Jansen (21) shined, though.

3. Lawyers Guns and Money (3346 points, 12-6, last week 3): Bryce Harper (17) shredded his knee, Willson Contreras (2.5) got hurt, Jimmy Nelson (-4.3) was terrible, Trevor Story (2) didn't do a damn thing, and A.J. Pollock (9) and Marcell Ozuna (9.5) cooled off. Not everything went wrong, though. Joey Votto (32) walked 12 times — TWELVE! He also homered twice and scored 10 runs. 

Be honest: You have no idea if this is actually
Jose Pirela, do you? 

4. The Rookies (3306 points, 10-8, last week 4): Henry's top scorer in a win against the Losers was not Max Scherzer (29), Freddie Freeman (19), Alex Wood (13), Jon Lester (9) or Zack Greinke (8.7). No, it was everyone's favorite anonymous Padre, Jose Pirela (32). Pirela's 10 hits included 3 homers and 3 doubles, and he walked 6 times as well. Meanwhile, Scherzer almost reached 30 points without even picking up a win. He struck out 19 in 14 innings and allowed 4 runs. 

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (3224.8 points, 8-10, last week 5): The Blockheads got some big performances to knock off the Fish. All-star shortstop Zack Cozart (28.5) homered 4 times, and Jacob deGrom (20.7) fanned 9 in a 6.2-inning win. Also, Kenta Maeda (25.3) was strong in a pair of outings. Oddly, Scott's Colorado hitters weren't very good: Nolan Arenado (7.5), Jonathan Lucroy (7) and Mark Reynolds (5) were disappointments.  

6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (3149.3 points, 8-10, last week 6): It's a good thing for the commissioners that the offense stepped up with 10 homers and 11 doubles because the pitching staff fell into an open manhole, got trapped in the sewer and drowned. Yes, these guys beat Clemente's Bucs in a week in which their pitchers went 0-3 with a blown save and 18 runs allowed in 26.1 innings. Well done, Mike Foltynewicz (-5.3) and Greg Holland (-6.3). 

7. Arbitration Losers (3053.5 points, 8-10, last week 8): Tim's team was a 2-man operation in Week 18, and 2 men aren't quite enough to win at baseball. Carlos Martinez (33) pitched like a stud while going 2-0, and Ryan Braun (31.5) stayed healthy long enough to rack up 15 hits. Paul Goldschmidt (18.5) blasted 3 homers — yet scored only 4 runs and drove in no one but himself. I blame Daniel Descalso and Jeff Mathis. Also, Martin Prado (Witness Protection Program) is nowhere to be found. 

Greg Holland pitched once and posted a score of
-6.3. That makes him a lock for Dud of the Week.

8. Fresh Fish (3048.2 points, 9-9, last week 7): Rick's hitters put up 73 points, and his pitchers posted 69.3. That's a terrible ratio and a recipe for a loss. Jake Arrieta (30.3) looked like his Cy Young-winning self, and Patrick Corbin (19.7) looked like, well, someone who pitches better than Patrick Corbin. On the offensive side, only Billy Hamilton (17.5) scored more than 10 points. Where are you hiding, Anthony Rizzo, Anthony Rendon, Hunter Pence and Daniel Murphy? 

9. Project Mayhem (3015.3 points, 6-12, last week 9): It figures that the two FBLG teams that were eliminated from playoff contention weeks ago combined to produce the most entertaining matchup of the week. In a back-and-forth slugfest, PM ended The Misfits' hot streak by winning 205.3-201.8. For Fight Club, Ryan Zimmerman (31) must have gotten tired of this blogger ripping him for being a first-half wonder. Zim hit 3 homers. Michael Conforto (24) managed only 4 hits, but all of them left the yard. Randal Grichuk (29) and Kris Bryant (28.5) also had big weeks for Project Mayhem. 

10. The Misfits (2897.5 points, 4-14, last week 10): Giancarlo Stanton (35.5) and Justin Turner (26.5) combined for 10 homers, but it wasn't quite enough for Reid's crew. Perhaps the lack of a closer was the difference. Of course, having no closer at all meant that The Misfits STILL outperformed the commissioners at that position in Week 18, so ...

Week 17: The Check Swing

First Kyle Schwarber, now Willson Contreras. The Cubs have clearly cornered the market on catchers who can also
kind of play the outfield but can't really catch no matter which position they're playing. 

For the second consecutive week, our rankings remain exactly the same. That's pretty boring, guys. And again, we apologize for the tardiness of The Check Swing. We believe a disgruntled former employee might have slipped this blogger a mickey last night, which led to an unusually early bedtime. 

1. Clemente’s Bucs (3273.7 points, 12-5, last week, 1): The losses of Clayton Kershaw and Stephen Strasburg proved costly for Ray in Week 17, as Clemente's Bucs played more like Kevin Young's Bucs. Talk about dark times. Ray's team scored 139.8 points and lost to Bodysuit Man, which is closing the gap between first and second place. Kenley Jansen (11) pitched only 2 innings and still was CB's top-scoring pitcher. Starling Marte (19.5) had a nice week, which means he's probably back on the juice. Matt Adams (2) played more like the Fatt Adams we remember from St. Louis. 

2. Bodysuit Man (3209.5 points, 12-5, last week 2): The top 2 teams in FBLG squared off in Week 17, and the result was far from epic. The pitching staffs combined to go 1-5, and ace relievers Wade Davis (BM) and Jansen (CB) notched only 1 save apiece. The win went to Gio Gonzalez (18), who is pitching like it's 2012 again. As usual, Chris Taylor (30.5) and Charlie Blackmon (26.5) went nuts; the rest of the BM lineup did nothing noteworthy. Although Matt Carpenter walking 7 times and getting only 1 hit — a triple — is pretty funny. 

Let's see. Tim needs a third baseman. And look
who's back in the National League! It's a match
made in 7-Eleven. 

3. Lawyers Guns and Money (3192.3 points, 12-5, last week 3): The Fightin' Zevons are now tied with CB atop the Mays Division, which has 4 teams with winning records. Try to keep up, Koufax Division. Anyway, Willson Contreras (33.5) was a beast for LGM in a win against PYB. The catcher had 10 hits, including 5 homers, and drove in 13 runs. Of course, he also made an error, which is standard fare for ContrEras. Trevor Story (3.5) kinda stunk, but Joey Votto (26.5) and Corey Knebel (18) made up for it. 

4. The Rookies (3116 points, 9-8, last week 4): Henry's team got knocked around by the red-hot Misfits, and there weren't a lot of positives. The vaunted pitching staff went 1-0, and only 2 players scored more than 13.5 points. Max Scherzer (1) left his start early, and Jose Pirela (2) made a pair of errors to shrink his already-low score. Chris Owings (DL) didn't even play. And Jon Lester (20.7) struck out a ton of guys but allowed 6 runs in 10.2 innings in a couple of no-decisions. 

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (3057.7 points, 7-10, last week 5): Jeff Samardzija (26.3) picked up 2 wins to pace the Blockheads, who got a goose egg from catcher/infielder/minor leaguer Tony Wolters. Nolan Arenado (24) was the offensive leader despite having one of his worst weeks of the season. Jonathan Villar (1) continues to be one of the worst players in the National League. Jaime Garcia (0.7) of the Braves — whoops, now he's a Twin — oh, wait, now he's a Yankee — posted a score equal to the average speed of his fastball in MPH. 

6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (2992 points, 7-10, last week 6): Huey's much-maligned pitching staff stepped up in a big way, collecting 73.3 points as every pitcher picked up a win. The offense was much more hit-and-miss, though. Cody Bellinger (22.5) homered 4 times, and Nick Markakis (19.5) keeps scoring points without doing anything particularly well. Brandon Drury (3) homered, which somehow earned him even more time on the bench because wet-noodle-swinging Daniel Descalso — whose batting average has dropped 20 points in the past 2 weeks — is swinging a hotter bat, according to manager and Mensa member Torey Lovullo. 

7. Fresh Fish (2905.8 points, 9-8, last week 7): Let's all marvel at Rick's team beating AL with a pitching staff that went 0-5. Patrick Corbin (6) posted a decent number considering that he allowed 10 earned runs in 9 innings and went 0-2. The offense was led by those famous home-run hitters: Hunter Pence (22.5), Daniel Murphy (20.5) and Anthony Rizzo (18.5) hit 2 apiece, and Billy Hamilton (17) somehow hit 1 out. 

The man on the left (.233/.341/.392) has taken the job
of the man on the right (.273/.326/.439), and the
commissioners definitely aren't bitter about it at all. 

8. Arbitration Losers (2886.5 points, 8-9, last week 8): The AL pitching staff managed to throw only 22.1 innings, which usually leads to a loss. It sure did for Tim in Week 17. Meanwhile, it's the same old story for Tim's offense: Paul Goldschmidt (31.5) very good; Martin Prado (DL) very lame. The Losers lost to the Fish by 5.2 points, so pretty much any replacement-level third baseman could have pushed AL over the top. Or even a Giants-level third baseman. Speaking of which, there's a bloated corpse in a 6XL San Fran jersey on the waiver wire... 

9. Project Mayhem (2810 points, 5-12, last week 9): Bill's club came oh-so-close to ending its lengthy losing streak but was unable to top the commissioners. PM got some impressive pitching — but LOL at the crummy Phillies being unable to get a win for Aaron Nola (16), who went 0-1 despite allowing 4 earned runs in 13 innings. Ryan Zimmerman (6) no longer looks like the Comeback Player of the Millennium, and Jedd Gyorko (4) got 3 hits, none of which went for extra bases. Hey, Kris Bryant (12)! Weren't you supposed to be the top pick in the draft? 

10. The Misfits (2695.7 points, 4-13, last week 10): For the third consecutive week, Reid's team posted the most points in FBLG. That's a pretty remarkable feat for a club that opened the year 0-12. Giancarlo Stanton (23.5) blasted 3 more homers and was The Misfits' leading scorer. Every position player reached double digits in points, and Hyun-Jin Ryu (20) had a dominant outing to lead the pitching staff. Look out, Project Mayhem! 

Week 16: The Check Swing

The Miami outfield scored more than 100 points in Week 16. 

The commissioner's office apologizes (once again) for the lateness of this week's roundup. We spent all of our free time lately preparing a speech for Bud Selig's Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Rich and I couldn't decide which version we liked better, so in the end we just declared it a tie. And with that...

If we understand ESPN's playoff setup — and how could you not grasp every nuance of ESPN's league setup? — we think we might possibly maybe know which teams are making the FBLG playoffs. With 2 weeks left in the regular season, The Misfits are 3 games out of 4th place in the Koufax Division and Project Mayhem is 3 games out of 4th place in the Mays Division. That means our playoff teams are locked in, right?

1. Clemente’s Bucs (3133.8 points, 12-4, last week, 1): You know how the kids like to say something is stupid, but they mean it's good? Yeah, we don't get it either. Anyway, last week Ray got zeroes from the injured Justin Bour and Stephen Strasburg, plus a total of minus-4 from Pirates starters Ivan Nova (4) and Jameson Taillon (-8). Yet the Bucs still posted 190 points in a win, in part because Andrew McCutchen (28.5) and J.D. Martinez (32) hit 5 homers each. That's just stupid. 

2. Bodysuit Man (3057.3 points, 11-5, last week 2): Adam's team had a week that math nerds would love: Every player's score was a whole number except for the 17.5 posted by Chris Taylor. Yeah, that's a dorky thing to point out, but we're running out of things to say about these guys when they keep winning. Oh, it's nice to see Gerrit Cole (32) finally pitching like the ace he's supposed to be. 

Our Dud of the Week can drown his sorrows
with a beverage of the same name.

3. Lawyers Guns and Money (3026.3 points, 11-5, last week 3): That LGM offense continues to strike fear in the hearts of opponents. Marcell Ozuna (34) struck again, and every other hitter reached double figures. We're still not sure about the rotation, which was led by Luis Castillo (19), who we could have sworn was a second baseman for the Marlins back in the day. Trevor Cahill (1) pitched like you would expect a chubby doofus to pitch. 

4. The Rookies (2995.2 points, 9-7, last week 4): As usual, Henry's pitching was great. The hitting wasn't up to par, though — and the Rooks lost a close one to Quirk. Zack Greinke (37) won both of his starts; Alex Wood (13), Jon Lester (14) and Max Scherzer (19) also won their starts. The blame falls on the 4 position players who failed to reach double digits, plus the unusually sluggish Freddie Freeman (11). 

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (2913 points, 7-9, last week 5): Jacob deGrom had a great week, posting 30 points in a pair of outings. But the star of the show was Christian Yelich (37.5), who homered 3 times, doubled 5 times, drove in 8 and scored 9 times. That would be a pretty good week for the Giants as a team. Unfortunately for Scott, the rest of the Blockheads hit like ... well, the Giants. 

6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (2815.2 points, 6-10, last week 6): Weird stat of the week: Nick Markakis (12) singled 5 times, doubled twice, walked 4 times ... and scored zero runs. Nice work, Braves. Beyond that, the pitching (84) was good enough to keep up with the mighty staff of The Rookies, and the uneven offense (100.5) did just enough to push the commissioners to the win. Kudos to Brandon Drury, who inexplicably has been benched to make room for Daniel Descalso and Ketel Marte. 

7. Fresh Fish (2740.8 points, 8-8, last week 7): Let's see, there has to be something good to say about the Fish in Week 16. Hmm. Fernando Rodney (4) made the most of his 1 appearance, striking out the side. Dan Straily (2) had just as many points as losses. Adam Wainwright (DL) scored almost as many points as Straily. Asdrubal Cabrera (20) made only 1 error, which beat the over/under by 6.5. 

After seeing FBLG's best team pick up J.D. Martinez,
how do you feel about ESPN's waiver rules? 

8. Arbitration Losers (2726.7 points, 8-8, last week 8): Martin Prado (DL) continues to post zeroes for Tim, and you have to wonder whether Prado would have made the difference in a loss to LGM. Ha ha, just kidding! AL lost by about 25 points, and we don't think Prado has that in him anymore. Elsewhere, Julio Teheran (-1.3) had a horrible outing and Sam Dyson (5) blew a save. 

9. Project Mayhem (2641.5 points, 5-11, last week 9): Bill had the No. 1 pick in this year's draft, but he might to have to go all-out 1998 Marlins fire sale to get the top pick in 2018. PM was once 5-5 and in the thick of things, but this club has now lost 6 in a row. But hey, at least Aaron Nola (21) and Taijuan Walker (20.7) were pretty good last week in a loss to Bodysuit Man.

10. The Misfits (2498.5 points, 3-13, last week 10): Reid's team is finally putting it all together, but it's probably too late to matter. For the second consecutive week, The Misfits cracked 200 points and are FBLG's top-scoring club. Giancarlo Stanton (33) went nuts, and 3 pitchers had a great week: Madison Bumgarner (27), Hyun-Jin Ryu (22) and German Marquez (20). 

Week 15: The Check Swing

Uh-oh.

1. Clemente’s Bucs (2943.8 points, 11-4, last week, 1): The Sons of Stargell rolled to another win, putting up 209.2 points against the Arbitration Losers. The big worry for Ray is that Clayton Kershaw could miss 6 weeks with back pain, and Stephen Strasburg's status is unknown after the righty exited his last start with forearm stiffness. 

2. Bodysuit Man (2872.8 points, 10-5, last week 3): We here at the FBLG blog are getting tired of the same guys putting up huge numbers for T-Bone/Koko/Vandelay week after week. Blah blah Blackmon (my favorite nursery rhyme), something something Chris Taylor, yakety yak Wil Myers. Those guys combined for 9 homers, 15 RBIs and 25 runs in a win against The Rookies. 

Alex Wood is our Dud of the Week
because of this play alone. 

3. Lawyers Guns and Money (2831.5 points, 10-5, last week 2): What's that smell? Oh, it's just the LGM pitching staff rotting in the garbage can. Like a pumpkin in late November, the clock ran out for Corey Knebel (5), Luis Castillo (6), Jimmy Nelson (3) and Trevor Cahill (-0.3). No wonder the London Werewolves took the "L" against The Misfits. 

4. The Rookies (2816.3 points, 9-6, last week 4): Ian Happ (5) and Chris Owings (2) stunk up the joint as Henry's club got whacked by Bodysuit Man. But the big disappointment for the Rookies came from the pitching staff, where Zack Greinke (5) was mediocre and Alex Wood (-1.3) got knocked around for the first time this season. Jon Lester (38) was amazing in 2 starts, though. 

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (2748.8 points, 7-8, last week 5): Charlie Brown slipped past Project Mayhem thanks to the efforts of 3 offensive studs. Nolan Arenado (38.5) homered 4 times, drove in a whopping 13 runs and scored 9 times. Mark Reynolds (24) homered thrice himself, and Zack Cozart (24) — the NL's starting all-star shortstop, in case Rich forgot — added 2 of his own. 

6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (2630.7 points, 5-10, last week 6): We'd love to build a chart of the Fightin' Hueys' scores for Week 15. Other than outlier David Peralta (25), everyone was pretty average. The low scorer was Brandon Drury (9), and the second-leading scorer was Corey Seager (18). Way to meet expectations and not go beyond that, guys. 

7. Fresh Fish (2595.2 points, 8-7, last week 7): Simply put, Rick's bats fell asleep in a loss to QFL. Billy Hamilton was the Fish's leading scorer, with 21 points, followed by Adam Wainwright (20.3) and Matt Kemp (14). That's a pretty steep drop-off. Anthony Rendon, Anthony Rizzo and Daniel Murphy combined for only 34 points, so expect Coach Rick to overturn some tables in the locker room. 

German Marquez was THIS close to beating out
Nolan Arenado as the Rockies' top scorer in Week 15.

8. Arbitration Losers (2557 points, 8-7, last week 8): Tim's pitching was pretty good in the loss to CB, but the offense was nothing to write home about. Martin Prado pulled a Ryan Braun, posting a 0 after getting hurt and hitting the DL. Braun, meanwhile, led the bats with 19.5 points and hit one of the Losers' 2 homers for the week. Sam Dyson (15) was good for a change, too. 

9. Project Mayhem (2479.3 points, 5-10, last week 9): Project Mayhem is living up to its name after losing its 5th in a row. It wasn't a bad week, though; Bill's team still scored 180.2 points in a loss to PYB. Michael Conforto (32.5) homered 4 times for the lolMets, and the pitching staff was impressive: PM got 70.7 points from only 4 guys, as Taijuan Walker didn't pitch because he was giving birth or something. 

10. The Misfits (2292.5 points, 2-13, last week 10): Wow! Look at all those big numbers posted by Reid's guys, who just happened to record a league-high 221.8 points against LGM. German Marquez (36.7), Tommy Pham (27), Josh Harrison (25.5), Josh Bell (23.5), Giancarlo Stanton (22.5) and Gerardo Parra (20) got the job done — and Rich's favorite lefty, Madison Bumgarner (4.3), is back! 

Week 15: Thursday's Roundup

I miss the days where I could have made a "Hey, Eugenio, where did your last throw go?" joke.
Why did he have to go and get good at defense?

Studs: Eugenio Suarez (CB) homered twice and walked. Jameson Taillon (CB) allowed 2 runs and struck out 8 in a 5.1-inning win.

Duds: None.

Week 15: Wednesday's Roundup

It's hard to believe a pitching staff as good as San Diego's could give up so many homers to Nolan Arenado.

Studs: Nolan Arenado (PYB) had a good week all in a day, hitting 3 homers, 2 singles and driving in 7. Domingo Santana (R) was a triple shy of the cycle and scored twice. Chris Taylor (BM) was a triple shy of the cycle, drove in 2 and scored 3 runs. Freddy Galvis (BM) doubled twice, singled, walked and scored 3 runs. Charlie Blackmon (BM) homered, singled twice, drove in 2 and scored 3 runs. Gerrit Cole (BM) struck out 10 and allowed 1 run in a 7-inning no-decision. Corey Seager (Q) homered, singled twice, scored 2 runs and drove in 3. David Peralta (Q) was a triple shy of the cycle and drove in 2. Javier Baez (M) homered, doubled and drove in 3.

Duds: Matt Wieters (PM) and Freddie Freeman (R) went 0-fer with an error. Gedd Jyorko (PM) singled and erred. (Admit it, Gedd Jyorko is a great name.) Corey Knebel (LGM) blew a save by allowing 1 run in 1 inning.

Week 15: Tuesday's Roundup

Travis Shaw can't believe more people aren't talking about how great he's been this year.

Studs: Clayton Kershaw (CB) struck out 7 in 7 shutout innings to earn the win. Michael Wacha (AL) struck out 8 in a 3-hit shutout of the LOLMets. Zack Cozart (PYB) was a triple shy of the cycle and scored twice. Matt Carpenter (BM) had 2 doubles, 2 singles, a run and an RBI. Travis Shaw (LGM) homered, singled twice and drove in 3. Bryce Harper (LGM) homered, tripled, singled twice and scored twice. Gerardo Parra (M) had a double, 2 singles, 2 walks, 3 runs and an RBI.

Duds: Scott Schebler (CB) was caught stealing. Yasmani Grandal (Q) was 0-fer with an error.

Week 15: Monday's Roundup

Tommy Pham and the Phamily.

Studs: Stephen Strasburg (CB) struck out 11 and allowed 1 run in a 7-inning win. Jon Lester (R) struck out 6 and allowed 1 run in a 7-inning win. German Marquez (M) allowed 3 runs and struck out 9 in a 6.2-inning win. Giancarlo Stanton (M) homered twice, walked twice and drove in 3. Tommy Pham (M) homered, singled, walked twice and drove in 3.

Duds: Dexter Fowler (Q) singled, walked and made an error. Christian Yelich (PYB) walked and was caught stealing.

Week 14: The Check Swing

Jimmy Nelson is like a snake in the grass, waiting to destroy your fantasy team's hopes. 

1. Clemente’s Bucs (2734.7 points, 10-4, last week, 1): The extra-long week was good for our leader, who put up 299.2 points against the last-place Misfits. Clayton Kershaw posted a whopping 48 points in a pair of victories, and Kenley Jansen picked up 28 points in only 6 innings of work. On the offensive side, Andrew McCutchen (36.5), Justin Bour (33) and Dee Gordon (28) did most of the damage. 

2. Lawyers Guns and Money (2664.8 points, 10-4, last week 4): Sure, Week 14 included 10 days of games rather than our usual 7, but 335.2 points is a LOT of points. It was enough to move the Fightin' Zevons from 4th to 2nd in the points race. Jimmy Nelson (46.7) fanned 23 batters in a pair of wins, Trevor Cahill (33) was mind-bogglingly effective, and even Jhoulys Chacin (23.3) was impressive. Talk about a scrap-heap rotation! At the plate, it was more of the same for LGM, with Bryce Harper (40), Marcell Ozuna (36.5) and Joey Votto (31) setting the pace. 

Here's Dud of the Week Jon Lester
in happier times, before he allowed
9 runs in 5.2 innings across a pair
of losses in Week 14. 

3. Bodysuit Man (2652.8 points, 9-5, last week 2): Costanza must have been too busy eating spicy chicken and calzones to focus on his matchup with the Fish, which he lost. Charlie Blackmon (43.5) remains the most consistent performer in FBLG; have we mentioned his name on this blog every week? Freddy Galvis (27.5) and Chris Taylor (27.5) were outstanding, too. Sean Newcomb (-0.7) allowed 11 earned runs in 7.2 innings. Happy, pappy? 

4. The Rookies (2641.2 points, 9-5, last week 3): The Scrappin' Greenhorns got some monster performances to stay in the thick of the points race. Alex Wood (37) and Max Scherzer (34.5) went 3-0 to lead the pitching staff, and Ender Inciarte (35.5), Paul DeJong (35) and Domingo Santana (34.5) combined for 16 doubles and 16 RBIs. Let's not talk about Jon Lester (-3.3), though.

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (2559.8 points, 6-8, last week 5): PYB lost to The Rookies, but you can't blame Nolan Arenado (35), Christian Yelich (33.5) or Jacob deGrom (36). Mark Reynolds (27.5) and Brandon Phillips (26) also performed well, and Robbie Ray (18) struck out 13 in a 6-inning start. If you're looking for a goat, you can choose Jeff Samardzija (9 in 2 outings), Hunter Renfroe (7) or Tony Wolters (5). 

6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (2453.3 points, 4-10, last week 6): Lance Lynn (33.5) allowed 2 runs in 18.2 innings across 3 starts, but the rest of the pitching staff was laugh-inducing. Jon Gray, Jose Urena and Nick Pivetta combined to allow 32 runs in 32.2 innings. High draft picks Corey Seager (14) and Yoenis Cespedes (12) were pretty lousy, too. But hey, at least Cody Bellinger (37.5) and Scooter Gennett (35.5) were good.  

7. Fresh Fish (2451.3 points, 8-6, last week 7): Daniel Murphy (45.5) and Anthony Rendon (41) combined to drive in 28 runs, which is absolutely ridiculous. Billy Hamilton (33.5) collected 13 hits, which, if you've ever seen HillBilly play, is even MORE ridiculous. Adam Wainwright (29.7) won his 2 starts, but Steven Matz (1.3) got knocked around in 2 losses and Fernando Rodney (-4.7) stunk up the joint in 0.1 inning.  

Billy Hamilton is pretty good for a guy who can't
see where he's going. 

8. Arbitration Losers (2377.7 points, 8-6, last week 8): The offense did the heavy lifting for AL in a win against PM. Kudos to Jay Bruce (29.5), D.J. LeMahieu (28.5), Ryan Braun (28), Brandon Crawford (24.5) and Paul Goldschmidt (24). The pitching staff was good in limited action, going 3-1 with 2 saves in 39.2 innings. 

9. Project Mayhem (2298.2 points, 5-9, last week 9): Mayhem was unable to pick up a win despite getting 43 points from Aaron Nola, who made 3 starts, and 33 points from Rich Hill. Kris Bryant (35.5) and Jedd Gyorko (21.5) paced the offense, but the rest of the bats were pretty average. We're not entirely sure what a Dinelson Lamet is, but apparently he pitches for the Padres — and posted 1 point for PM. 

10. The Misfits (2072.7 points, 1-13, last week 10): Giancarlo Stanton (41.5) homered 5 times and Justin Turner (28) went deep 4 times, but it wasn't enough to get the Misfits past Clemente's Bucs. Josh Bell (35.5) has been a nice pickup at first base, as well. Unfortunately, Joe Ross, Stephen Piscotty and Michael Taylor landed on the DL, and Misfit pitchers allowed 24 earned runs in 35 innings.