Week 1: Saturday's Roundup

Coors Field is the perfect remedy for a team that can't score. Right, Matt Kemp?

Studs: Carlos Martinez (LGM) singled, scored, drove in 2 and struck out 5 while allowing 2 runs in a 6-inning win. Kyle Hendricks (LGM) singled and struck out 5 while allowing 2 runs in a 6.2-inning win. Jon Jay (PYB) doubled, singled, scored twice and drove in 3. Matt Kemp (R) homered twice, singled and drove in 6. Madison Bumgarner (AL) homered and struck out 8 while allowing 1 run in 6 innings. Raisel Iglesias (GH) allowed 1 run and struck out 5 in a 5.2-inning win. 

Duds: Matt Duffy (AL) went 0 for 4 with an error. Trevor Story (HE) is determined to show up on this blog as often as possible. He went 1 for 5 with 3 Ks and an error. 

Note: The Nationals-Marlins game was "colded" out (it didn't rain; it was apparently too cold for them to play). 

Scores

Fresh Fish 140, Rookies 117

Goldschmidt Happens 131, The Lumbar Yard 119

Lawyers, Guns & Money 155, Misfits 141

Pitch You Blockhead 173, Arbitration Losers 151

Hundley Eyes 166, Retire 21 125

Week 1: Friday's Roundup

This is how Adam feels when he looks at The Lumbar Yard's depleted outfield. Watch your back, Harper. 

Studs: Trevor Story (HE) did it again, hitting two homers, singling and driving in 4. That's 6 homers in 4 games for the kid. Starling Marte (R) homered, stole a base, singled twice and drove in 4. Matt Kemp (R) homered, singled 3 times, drove in 4 and scored twice. Brandon Phillips (R) homered, singled, stole a base, drove in 2 and scored twice. Yangervis Solarte (GH) doubled twice, singled and drove in 4. Jacob deGrom (PYB) struck out 6 and allowed 1 run in a 6-inning win. He also drove in a run. Jean Segura (PYB) already looks like the comeback player of the year. He doubled twice, singled, stole a base and scored twice. 

Duds: Francisco Cervelli (LY) went 0 for 4, drove in an run and erred. Freddy Galvis (R21) went 1 for 4 with an error. 

Transaction: The Lumbar Yard placed OF/C Kyle Schwarber on the disabled list and replaced him with Juan Lagares. 

Scores

Fresh Fish 123, Rookies 100

The Lumbar Yard 102, Goldschmidt Happens 98

Misfits 125, Lawyers, Guns & Money 115

Pitch You Blockhead 152, Arbitration Losers 119

Hundley Eyes 156, Retire 21 109

Week 1: Thursday's Roundup

Anthony Rizzo wielded the lumbar for The Lumbar Yard. 

Studs: Y'all ready for this? What an awesome day for offensive performances. Anthony Rizzo (LY) was a double short of a cycle, drove in 6 and scored 3 runs. Daniel Murphy (LY) had a 3-run triple, singled and stole a base. David Peralta (M) tripled, doubled twice, scored twice and drove in a run. Dexter Fowler (R21) tripled, singled, scored twice and drove in 2. Jay Bruce (AL) had a 3-run homer, a solo homer and an RBI single. Joe Panik (PYB) tripled, singled twice, drove in 3 and scored 3 runs. Jean Segura (PYB) hit a pair of solo homers, although only 1 actually left the yard. Adrian Gonzalez (FF) doubled twice, singled, drove in a run and scored twice. 

Duds: Kyle Schwarber's ankle. That looked ugly. Welington Castillo (HE) showed off the form that led the Cubs and Mariners to dump him last year. He went 0 for 4 with an error. 

Transactions: We have our first trade of the 2016 season! Pitch You Blockhead, in need of a shortstop who actually plays that position this year, has sent 3B Eugenio Suarez to Hundley Eyes in exchange for Zack Cozart. It was nice having you on the team for a week and a half, son. The Lumbar Yard places OF Ben Revere on the disabled list and signs Angel Pagan to replace him. 

Bam! No, wait. Wrong guy.

In memoriam: To avoid confusion with your lazy blogger using FF abbreviations for both the Fresh Fish and the Flavortown Fieris, the latter team has changed its name to its 2014 title: Lawyers, Guns & Money. That's right, gang. The Fightin' Zevons are back! Sadly, we must bid a frosted-tipped farewell to Flavortown and the Fieris therein. We're bummed that we'll never get to make Ernesto Frieri jokes or snide comments about the world's douchiest Guy-talian. 

Scores

Fresh Fish 103, Rookies 52

The Lumbar Yard 92, Goldschmidt Happens 72

Misfits 114, Lawyers, Guns & Money 109

Arbitration Losers 103, Pitch You Blockhead 95

Hundley Eyes 133, Retire 21 87

Week 1: Wednesday's Roundup

Kenta Maeda has scored more runs than the entire Padres team in 2016. 

Stud: Kenta Maeda (HE) homered, struck out 4, got the win and didn't allow a run in 6 innings. He did, however, make an error. Had to give San Diego a chance, I suppose.  

Duds: Speaking of which, the Padres have played 3 games this season and still haven't scored a run. What would Tony Gwynn say? In the category of individual unachievements, Kolten Wong (GH) went 1 for 3 with a pair of errors. Mike Leake (R21) committed an error, struck out 1 and allowed 4 runs in a 4.1-inning loss. Freddie Freeman (R21) went 0 for 4 with 2 Ks and an error. Brandon Belt (M) went 0 for 2, walked twice and was caught stealing. 

Transaction: Arbitration Losers move SP Matt Garza to the disabled list, bench SP Archie Bradley and sign SP Tom Koehler. 

Scores

Fresh Fish 79, Rookies 50

Goldschmidt Happens 63, The Lumbar Yard 55

Misfits 99, Flavortown Fieris 62

Arbitration Losers 84, Pitch You Blockhead 73

Hundley Eyes 118, Retire 21 73

Week 1: Tuesday's Roundup

Like most major-league hitters, Paul Goldschmidt enjoys facing Colorado pitching.

Studs: Noah Syndergaard (HE) got the win and struck out 9 in 6 shutout innings. Paul Goldschmidt (GH) homered, tripled and drove in 4. Jean Segura (PYB) tried to match his teammate: He homered, tripled and drove in 3. Dee Gordon (FF) tripled, doubled twice, scored twice and drove in a run. Scott Kazmir (R) got the win, allowing only 1 hit and fanning 5 in 6 shutout innings. Jon Lester (R) and Johnny Cueto (FF) each allowed 1 run and struck out 4 in their 7-inning wins.

Duds: Adeiny Hechavarria (FF) had a sacrifice fly but committed 2 throwing errors. Starling Marte (R) and Kris Bryant (R21) each went 0 for 4 with an error. Alexei Ramirez (M) went 0 for 3 with an error. 

Scores

Fresh Fish 70, Rookies 22

Goldschmidt Happens 60, The Lumbar Yard 49

Misfits 94, Flavortown Fieris 37

Arbitration Losers 60, Pitch You Blockhead 51

Retire 21 73, Hundley Eyes 68

Week 1: Monday's Roundup

Colorado shortstop Trevor Story took Zack Greinke deep twice in his major league debut. 

Studs: Clayton Kershaw (FF) did typical Kershaw things — he singled, scored, got the win, struck out 9 and allowed only 1 hit in 7 shutout innings. Jake Arrieta (Rookies) picked up where he left off a season ago, earning the win and striking out 6 in 7 shutout innings. Trevor Story (HE) hit a 3-run homer and a solo homer. Denard Span (HE) homered, singled, scored twice and drove in 5. Adrian Gonzalez (FF) had 3 singles, 3 RBIs and 2 runs. Gerardo Parra (GH) doubled three times, stole a base and scored. Brandon Belt (Misfits) doubled twice, singled, scored twice and drove in a run. Matt Duffy (AL) homered, singled and drove in 4. Yasiel Puig (PYB) tripled, singled, scored 3 times and drove in a run. 

Duds: Even an RBI single couldn't keep Zack Greinke (AL) off this list. He allowed 7 runs and struck out 2 in a 4-inning loss. Matt Kemp (Rookies) went 0 for 3 with 2 whiffs and an error. Erick Aybar (Rookies) went 1 for 5 with an error.

Scores

Fresh Fish 35, Rookies 20

Goldschmidt Happens 36, The Lumbar Yard 25

Misfits 41, Flavortown Fieris 17

Arbitration Losers 45, Pitch You Blockhead 27

Retire 21 53, Hundley Eyes 26

Week 1: Opening Day

We're just going to say it. PNC Park is the best ballpark in the majors. 

Welcome to the 2016 season, FBLG team owners! It looks like we're in for another great season. The Giants hope to win another even-year championship, the Dodgers hope to get some injured players out of the hospital, the Cubs hope to end their title drought, the Cardinals hope to show the rest of baseball how to play the game The Right Way, the Brewers hope to not embarrass themselves, and the Nationals hope to win their fifth consecutive championship after resting Stephen Strasburg in the 2012 playoffs.

Studs: Well, there were only two NL games, so Francisco Liriano (R21) was the only Stud. He fanned 10 and got the win in 6 shutout innings. He also had an RBI single. 

Duds: He's not on a FBLG roster, but Tommy Pham got hurt after 1 inning. Honorable mention goes to A.J. Pollock (Hundley) for breaking his elbow after the draft but before the season. 

Scores

Rookies 4, Fresh Fish 1

The Lumbar Yard 5, Goldschmidt Happens 1

Misfits 9, Flavortown Fieris 0

Arbitration Losers 6, Pitch You Blockhead 0

Retire 21 26, Hundley Eyes 0