Week 15: Thursday Roundup

After stinking up the joint all spring, Kike Hernandez is crushing the ball in July.

STUDS: Kike Hernandez (HG) homered twice, singled twice and drove in 4. Anthony Rendon (YA) doubled twice, singled, walked, drove in 1 and scored twice. Paul DeJong (PM) homered, singled, scored twice and drove in 3.

DUDS: Cody Bellinger (R) walked and erred, as did Carson Kelly (CB). Max Muncy (CB) erred.

Week 15: Wednesday Roundup

We tried to get a picture of Amed on defense, but Google SafeSearch blocked it.

STUDS: Trevor Story (WLB) was a single shy of a cycle (ever hear of a bunt, Trevor?), scored twice and drove in 2. Eduardo Escobar (R) homered twice and drove in 5. Yu Darvish (AL bench, oops) tossed 6 shutout innings with 7 strikeouts for the win. Adam Jones (M) had a double, 3 singles, 3 runs and a walk. Amed Rosario (FF) homered, tripled, singled twice, scored 4 runs, walked and drove in 3. AND DIDN'T MAKE AN ERROR. Chris Paddack (FF) took a no-hitter into the 7th and finished with 8 strikeouts and 1 run allowed in a 7.2-inning win. Carson Kelly (CB) homered, singled, walked, scored 3 runs and drove in 2.

DUDS: Fernando Tatis, Jr. (HG) went 0-5 with 4 strikeouts and 2 errors. That's just a bad day at the office. Jon Gray (M) struck out 3 and allowed 6 runs in a 5.1-inning loss. Brian Dozier (LCL) erred. Colin Moran (LCL) singled, walked and erred.

Week 15: Tuesday Roundup

That grand slam feeling.

STUDS: Christian Yelich (HG) hit a grand slam, walked twice, scored 3 runs and stole a bag. Alex Dickerson (HG) doubled, singled 3 times, scored twice and drove in 2. Bryce Harper (LCL) homered, doubled, walked twice and drove in 5. Lorenzo Cain (PM) homered, doubled, walked, scored twice and drove in 2. Keston Hiura (FF) homered, singled twice, walked twice, scored 3 runs and drove in 2. Brandon Woodruff (CB) struck out 7 and allowed 1 run in a 6.2-inning win.

DUDS: Hector Neris (WLB) allowed 3 runs and struck out 1 to blow a save in a 0.1-inning outing, but he was rescued from the loss by... Kenley Jansen (CB), who also blew a save, allowed 3 runs and took the loss in 0.1 innings. Nolan Arenado (R) singled and erred. Justin Tuner (M) scored and erred. Starling Marte singled, scored, was caught stealing and erred.

Week 15: Monday Roundup

German Marquez hasn't had a quality start since June 21. His start on Monday was about as far from quality as you can get.

STUDS: Cody Bellinger (R) homered twice, singled twice and scored 4 runs. Miles Mikolas (PM) shut out the Pirates and struck out 3. Keston Hiura (FF) was a homer short of a cycle, stole a base and drove in a run. Alex Verdugo (FF) homered, singled twice, drove in 2 and scored 3 runs. Clayton Kershaw (FF) allowed 1 run and struck out 7 in a 6-inning win. Luis Castillo (FF) allowed 3 runs and struck out 10 in a 6-inning win. Kike Hernandez (HG) doubled, singled, scored, drove in 3 and walked twice. Alex Dickerson (HG) took advantage of a doubleheader, finishing with 2 doubles, a single, 3 runs, a walk and an RBI. Buster Posey (AL) homered, singled, drove in 2 and scored 3 runs.

DUDS: German Marquez (HG) got blown up at Coors Field by the Giants, of all teams. Marquez allowed 11 runs and struck out 3 in a 2.2-inning loss. Javier Baez (AL) committed an error.

Week 14: The Check Swing

"Don't worry. Nobody's listening anyway."

This week's edition will be brief because life has been hectic here at the commissioners' office. We had to order new furniture because Tommy Lasorda peed on our couch, and the Phillie Phanatic demanded a wardrobe upgrade. (Namely, pants.) We hope to return to our regularly scheduled garbage next week. 

1. Yari's Autonomics (2948.7, 8-6, last week 1)

2. The Rookies (2906 points, 7-7, last week 3)

3. Clemente's Bucs (2879, 8-6, last week 2)

4. When the Ledee Breaks (2748.8, 7-7, last week 4)

5. Hassey's Girl (2742, 9-5, last week 5)

6. Project Mayhem (2676.8, 7-7, last week 6)

7. Fresh Fish (2669.8, 8-6, last week 8)

8. Arbitration Losers (2661.3, 8-6, last week 9)

9. Lumber Co Lumber (2654.7, 7-7, last week 7)

10. The Misfits (2028.2, 1-13, last week 10)

Batting leaders after Week 14

1. Cody Bellinger (R) 350.5
2. Christian Yelich (HG) 339
3. Josh Bell (YA) 331.5
4. Freddie Freeman (LCL) 329
5. Ronald Acuña Jr. (WLB) 300.5

Pitching leaders after Week 14

1. Max Scherzer (YA) 307.3
2. Stephen Strasburg (CB) 262.3
3. Luis Castillo (FF) 251
4. Hyun-Jin Ryu (HG) 242
5. Zack Greinke (YA) 238

Week 14: Second Sunday Roundup

A.J. Pollock had a good day at Fenway Park, which had quite a few Dodgers fans in attendance. 

STUDS: Hector Neris (WLB) pitched 1 inning, struck out the side and earned the win. Mike Soroka (YA) struck out 9 and didn't allow a run in a 7-inning win. A.J. Pollock (M) homered, singled twice, scored twice and drove in 4.

DUDS: Max Muncy (CB) walked, drove in a run and erred. Trevor Williams (CB) allowed 8 runs and fanned 4 in a 5.1-inning loss. Adam Eaton, Manny Machado and Eugenio Suarez (all AL) each went 0-fer with an error, but at least Suarez managed a walk.

Week 14: Second Saturday Roundup

The Cubs were not kind to Jordan Lyles, whose ERA shot up to 5.16
during Saturday's disastrous outing. 

STUDS: Justin Turner (M) homered, doubled twice, scored 3 runs and drove in 2. Jose Peraza (M) had a homer, 3 singles, 2 runs and 3 RBIs. Noah Syndergaard (M) struck out 9 and allowed 2 runs in a 7-inning win. Manny Machado (AL) and Starling Marte (CB) each hit a pair of solo homers. Yasiel Puig (YA) had a wild day: he homered, doubled, singled twice, scored 3 runs, drove in 4 and committed 2 errors. Daniel Murphy (WLB) homered, doubled, singled twice, scored twice and walked. Juan Soto (WLB) hit a 2-run homer, singled twice and scored twice. Josh Donaldson (CB) hit a 2-run homer, walked twice and scored 3 runs. Nick Senzel (HG) tripled twice, doubled, singled, scored twice and walked.

DUDS: Jordan Lyles (LCL) had a brutal day, retiring only 2 batters — by strikeout, at least — and allowing 7 runs in a loss. Bryan Reynolds (AL) committed an error. Hector Neris (WLB) allowed the aforementioned 2-run homer to Soto, which means he also blew the save and took the loss. Neris struck out 1 in 1.1 innings. Carson Kelly (CB) walked twice and erred.

Week 14: Second Friday Roundup

If Portland ever gets a major-league team, Dallas Keuchel and his weird, hipster beard would be perfect for it.

STUDS: Josh Donaldson (CB) homered twice and drove in 4. Stephen Strasburg (CB) got the win and struck out 6 in 6 shutout innings. Robbie Ray (R) struck out 8 and allowed 1 run in a 6.1-inning win. Buster Posey (AL) homered, singled, scored twice and drove in 4. Dallas Keuchel (YA) struck out 5 and allowed 1 run in a 7-inning win. Keston Hiura (FF) was a triple short of a cycle, walked and scored twice.

DUD: Jean Segura (YA) committed an error.