Week 7: Friday Roundup

Look at all those sad Giants fans. LOOK AT THEM. It warms the soul.

STUDS: The Dbacks had themselves a night in San Francisco: Adam Jones (M) had a homer, 3 singles, 3 runs and 3 RBIs. Ketel Marte (PM) had a homer, 2 singles, 3 runs and 4 RBIs. Eduardo Escobar (R) homered, singled, drove in 3 and scored twice. Robbie Ray (R) struck out 9 and allowed 2 runs in a 5.1-inning win. Elsewhere, Walker Buehler (PM) struck out 6 in 6 innings, allowing 1 run for the win. Nolan Arenado (R) had 2 solo homers and a single. Jorge Alfaro (YA) homered, singled twice and drove in 3. Anthony Rendon (YA) homered, doubled, walked, scored 3 runs and drove in 2. Trevor Story (WLB) homered twice and drove in 4. Juan Soto (WLB) homered, singled twice, walked, scored twice and drove in 3. Dansby Swanson (LCL) homered twice and drove in 3.

DUDS: Jerad Eickhoff (LCL) allowed 4 runs and struck out 1 in a 3-inning no-decision. Austin Riley (FF) went 0-fer with an error.

Week 7: Thursday Roundup

Classic Italian move, putting a hole in the scoreboard as a warning sign.

STUDS: Starling Marte (CB) homered, doubled, scored 3 runs and drove in 2. Josh Bell (YA) was a triple shy of a cycle, walked, scored 3 runs and drove in 2. Jean Segura (YA) homered, doubled, scored twice and drove in 2. Andrew McCutchen (YA) had 2 doubles, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a walk. Juan Soto (WLB) was a homer shy of a cycle, walked, and scored twice. Anthony Rizzo (FF) had a homer, 3 singles, 3 runs and 3 RBIs. Austin Riley (FF) had a homer, 2 singles and 3 RBIs.

DUDS: Willson Contreras (LCL) singled, walked and erred.

Week 7: Wednesday Roundup

Note the look of utter disbelief on the faces of Tony's teammates.

STUDS: Jon "The" Gray (M) struck out 7 and allowed 3 runs in a 7-inning win. Matt Carpenter (HG) homered, drove in 2, walked 3 times and scored 3 runs in a doubleheader. Tony Wolters (R) - no, seriously, not joking - homered, singled, scored twice and drove in 3. That should cover him for another month or so. Andrew McCutchen (YA) was a triple shy of the cycle and scored twice. Max Scherzer (YA) pitched 6 shutout innings with 9 strikeouts to outduel Jacob deGrom. Mike Moustakas (WLB) homered, singled twice and scored 3 runs. Marcell Ozuna (FF) enjoyed a doubleheader with the Royals, thank you very much, finishing with a homer, 2 doubles, 2 runs, a walk and 5 RBIs.

DUDS: Nick Senzel (HG) walked and was caught stealing. Zach Davies (R) finally got hit hard, allowing 6 runs and striking out 2 in a 3-inning no-decision. Sean Doolittler (YA) allowed 4 runs without getting an out to blow the save. Hey, at least he didn't take the loss too!

Week 8: Tuesday Roundup

German Marquez had 'em jumping at PNC Park last night.

STUDS: Edwin Diaz (M) struck out 2 in a scoreless inning to earn a vulture win. His win also answered the age-old question: when the Mets and Nationals face each other, does someone HAVE to win? The answer, apparently, is yes. German Marquez (HG) dominated the Pirates, striking out 7 in 8 shutout innings for the win. Clayton Kershaw (FF) struck out 8 and allowed 2 runs in a 6.1-inning win.

DUDS: Victor Robles (CB) walked and was caught stealing. Francisco Cervelli (FF) singled, erred and got nailed in the chest by a foul ball, leaving with an injury. Austin Riley (FF) singled and erred, but avoided injury.

Week 8: Monday Roundup

"We get to face the Giants!"

STUDS: JT Realmuto (PM) homered, singled, stole a base, scored twice and drove in 2. Anthony Rendon (YA) homered, doubled, walked twice and scored twice. Mike Soroka (YA) struck out 7 and allowed 1 run in an 8-inning win. Ronald Acuna (WLB) homered twice and doubled. Chris Paddack (FF) struck out 7 and allowed 1 run in a 6-inning win.

DUDS: Mac Williamson (R) made an error. Josh Donaldson (CB) singled, walked and erred.

Week 7: The Check Swing

As always, a Google Image Search for "sad mets" is its own reward.

Perfect timing for me to come back to The Check Swing: the Mets are imploding and thinking that hiring Mike Scioscia will be the answer to their woes; the Nats are squandering their talent for the 65th consecutive year; the Giants just flat suck in the most boring possible way... it's a great time for me, personally. Oh and I guess the Dodgers are really good, but schadenfreude is much more enjoyable than actual success, right?

Damn you, Escobar.

1. The Rookies (1460.2 points, 3-4, last week 1): Henry's league-leaders slowed down a bit but earned another win, this time against the Misfits. Eduardo Escobar (33.5) continues to shove it right in my face after I badmouthed him pre-draft... not my fault, he was brutal for the Dbacks last year. Apparently it was a passing phase. He had 3 homers, 2 triples, a double, 2 singles, 7 runs and 10 RBIs last week... against the Pirates and Giants, but still! It counts. The league's leading scorer, MVP frontrunner and overall Dreamy Guy Cody Bellinger (23.5) had another big week, with 3 more homers. The rest of the offense sputtered a bit, "led" by Nolan Arenado (8). But who needs other hitters when you have Eduardo Freaking Escobar? Henry's pitching staff - which now consists of Dbacks, former Dbacks, and dudes named Zack/h - was strong again, led by Patty Corbin's 23-point gem. Zach Davies is cruising along with an inexplicable 1.54 ERA, much to the chagrin of everyone who drafted any other pitcher. And don't get me started on Robbie Ray (23 in 2 starts), the world's most unwatchable good pitcher.

This guy would watch Kyle Hendricks' fastball
rolling down the 101 and just chortle.

2. Project Mayhem (1418.2, 5-2, last week 2): Bill's team took the brunt of Adam's team's anger this week, apparently, putting up a nice week and getting pummeled all the same. It happens. Fortunately, we can lay some blame on a Cardinal, as Miles Mikolas (-6.7) had one of those days mama told you about, where every meatball you throw up there gets ripped to shreds. Luke Weaver (5) and Walker Buehler (9) weren't great, though Buehler was hurt by his defense. Soft-tossing righty Kyle Hendricks (29.7 in 2 starts) continued his bounceback season. Hendricks, Davies, Ryu... it's the rise of the sub-90 club! If you've got a fastball that wouldn't get pulled over by the CHP, it's your time to shine, baby. Bill's hitters continue to do damage, though Ketel Marte (10.5) and Franmil Reyes (4.5) cooled off a bit. Lorenzo Cain (26.5) hit a bunch of doubles, and as a team PM drew 18 walks. Even Brandon Belt drew a walk! Has anyone watched Brandon Belt hit lately? Why would you walk him? If you want him on base, just drill him and save yourself 3 pitches. Or, better, throw strikes and watch him ground out to second base.

3. Yari's Autonomics (1380.7, 3-4, last week 9): It appears Adam read his team the riot act after they were called out in this very column last week, and they responded with a 228.2-point week, a big win and a giant leap up the standings. The power of the written word, people. Don't take it lightly. It was mostly about offense for YA this week, with Josh Bell (34) and Anthony Rendon (33) tearing the cover off the ball. As a team, 13 doubles, 11 homners, 39 RBIs, 34 runs for Yari's boys, led by 4 homers and 10 RBIs for Bell. A quick word of pride in Josh Bell, as former riders on the Josh Bell First Base Express: I knew this dude would be good. I'm happy for him, but not for Adam. The pitching was solid across the board, except for apparently-he-kinda-sucks-now Max Scherzer (8). Zack Greinke (17.7), Mike Soroka (15) and Cole Hamels (13) all had solid wins, and even Sean Doolittle (12) got a couple of saves in spite of the Nats' best efforts.

Weird stuff happens when the New York
teams are out of the postseason.

4. When the Ledee Breaks (1357.2, 4-3, last week 3): Matt's bunch got an easy win with 28.3 total pitching points. That's hard to do, and deserves mention, unlike Matt's actual pitchers, who will not be named due to their stinkiness. So let's talk about his offense, which, as predicted, is very strong. Ronald Acuna (24.5) seems to be enjoying his return to the leadoff spot, Mike Moustakas (23.5) seems to be enjoying his return to third base, and Yasmani Grandal (24) seems to be enjoying it not being the postseason. Enjoy that October, Brewers fans! Notable Fat Guy Jesus Aguilar (4), already on his second FBLG team of the season, looks like he might have been a one-year wonder. Daniel Murphy (-0.5) didn't exactly explode off the IL, though he did make an error, so you know he's back to normal. Michael Conforto (9.5) attempted to play defense, and thus is now hurt. There's a lesson here, kids.

5. Clemente's Bucs (1343.5, 2-5, last week 4): Ray made sure Thanksgiving dinner will be awkward this year by finally, after all these years, besting his dad in an athletic competition. Congrats, Ray! How did he do it? Well, the way we all finally do it, by having one more Brewers starting pitcher than his competition. In this case, Brandon Woodruff (28 in 2 starts) was excellent to lead an otherwise mediocre pitching staff through the week. Well, that's not fair, Stephen Strasburg (19) was excellent as well. But we're not talking about him. He knows what he did. Among the hitters, Starling Marte (20), Charlie Blackmon (16) and Max Muncy (13.5) were the best of a fairly pedestrian group, though Trea Turner (5) did make his return to the laughable Nationals lineup. Slightly less laughable with him in it, I suppose.

From the Brewer family album.
So this will NOT be the first awkward Thanksgiving, check.

6. Lumber Co Lumber (1324.7, 3-4, last week 5): John's team couldn't do much of anything in the narrow loss to his no-good son. Jon Lester (-0.7) finally got hit around a bit, Jerad Eickhoff (4 in 2 starts) struggled mightily, and Tanner Roark (12 in 2 starts) took a pair of losses. Kenta Maeda (23.7) was great, and then fouled a ball off himself to land on the IL. On offense, Freddie Freeman (27) and Bryce Harper (22.5) showed signs of heating up, and Willson Contreras (18) hit the ball around. Noe one else reached double figures - not even Mighty Nick Ahmed (6), shockingly. Rhys Hoskins (3) and Corey Seager (-0.5) were the worst offenders. But let's not overlook the terrible week Robinson Cano (9) had, including pulling a Jerry Seinfeld - "I CHOOSE NOT TO RACE" - on a couple of double play grounders. Who would have thought that trading for a one-tool 36-year-old second baseman might be a bad move? LOLMets.

Inscription reads "anywhere is better than here, chumps."

7. Hassey's Girl (1322.8, 5-2, last week 6): Your faithful commissioners keep winning and slipping in the standings - the parts of this team never work together at the same time. It's like driving a Saab. This time, it was a 5-point win against the Arb Losers. Christian Yelich (27) hit the ball and Aaron Nola (25) had a dominant start - it's almost like there's a reason those guys were the first 2 draft picks for this squad. Hyun-Jin Ryu (17) continued his dominance and everyone else on the team just kind of existed. And we added another Met, which is a terrible idea. Two Mets! In the same lineup? What were we thinking. And then there's you, Jordan Hicks (-2.3). I can't believe I let Deka talk me into picking up the freaking Cardinals' closer. At least he got those negative points The Right Way. What a giant turd of a franchise. It's fitting for a city whose only significant landmark is a giant gateway showing people how to get the hell out of town.

8. Arbitration Losers (1304.7, 5-2, last week 8): Quick: what team does Bryan Reynolds play for? The youngster was Tim's leading scorer last week which, well, it's not ideal. Not that Reynolds (20) - ok, he's a Pirate - is bad. But with Manny Machado (13.5), Joey Votto (12.5), Javy Baez (15), Eugenio Suarez (15) and Madison Bumgarner (13.3), someone should be outscoring a part-time Bucco. But not last week in the narrow loss to Fighting Rick Springfields. All told, Tim's team hit 34 singles and only 12 extra-base hits in the loss... sounds like Votto is really rubbing off on his teammates. Kirby Yates (5) only had once chance but locked down another save, his league-leading 47th (needs fact-checking).

Artist's depiction of Rick's team last week.

9. Fresh Fish (1300.5, 4-3, last week 8): The Fish got caught, cleaned, deboned, filleted, grilled and devoured by Matt's bunch last week, falling in the net without much of a fight. Newcomer Austin Riley (8) looks like the real deal after a sweltering first week (some of it on the bench, sad to say), and Kris Bryant (25) continued his scorching stretch. Beyond that, there isn't much to look at on the offensive side. Alex Verdugo (13.5) is taking advantage of increased playing time, and Marcell Ozuna (19.5) is heating up. But Anthony Rizzo (6.5) is slumping, Amed Rosario (4) at least didn't make any errors, and Francisco Cervelli (0) is at least really quite Italian. Perhaps he shouldn't have tried hitting with a spaghetti noodle last week. The pitching, which is clearly this team's strength, was not great, with Chris Paddack (1.7) finally running into a good offense, Jacob deGrom (-1) doing his Max Scherzer impression, and Luis Castillo (14.3) and Clayton Kershaw (14) having good-but-not-amazing starts. Rick's team is young, so we'll just sit back and enjoy the roller coaster.

10. The Misfits (1216.8, 1-6, last week 10): The league's elder statesman put up a valiant fight before losing to the Rookies. Speaking of old men, Ryan Braun (26.5) hit a ton of singles and drove in a bunch of runs... who does he think he is, James Loney? Hit the ball over the wall, steroid boy. Other old men on this team include Adam Jones (17.5) and Yadier Molina (14.5), plus Justin Turner (3), who didn't do much. Since a torrid start, Paul Goldschmidt (11) has cooled off, probably because God hates the Cardinals. Reid's pitchers struck out a bunch of guys and scored some points, with Jack Flaherty (23 in 2 starts) and Noah Syndergaard (22 in 2 starts) both doing well. But Jon "The" Gray (4.7) struggled, Sean Newcomb (4.7) is in the bullpen now, and Edwin Diaz (2) is a Met. Such a Met.

Batting leaders after Week 7

1. Cody Bellinger (R) 196.5
2. Christian Yelich (HG) 182

3. Josh Bell (YA) 163

4. Paul DeJong (PM) 160.5

5. Freddie Freeman (LCL) 154

Pitching leaders after Week 7

1. Luis Castillo (FF) 146.7
2. Hyun-Jin Ryu (HG) 135.3
3. Stephen Strasburg (CB) 134
3. Zack Greinke (YA) 133.7
5. Patrick Corbin (R) 130.7

and they say true love doesn't exist 😂 pic.twitter.com/WbCTKii3W9

— MLB GIFS (@MLBGIFs) May 21, 2019

Week 7: Sunday Roundup

A goofy, chunky lefty wearing 99, throwing 89, and putting up zeroes? It's Deka's dream pitcher.

STUDS: Hyun-Jin Ryu (HG) continued his mastery, throwing 7 shutout innings with 5 strikeouts to earn the win. That's 31 straight scoreless innings for the Round Mound of Renown. Josh Hader (LCL) struck out 3 and earned the win in 2 shutout innings.

DUDS: Jordan Hicks (HG) allowed 2 runs and took the loss in 1.1 innings, striking out 1. Rhys Hoskins (LCL) made an error.

Week 7: Saturday Roundup

Josh Bell is hammering the ball this year for an otherwise sorry Pirates team.

STUDS: Aaron Nola (HG) struck out 12 and allowed 1 run in a 6-inning win - and amazingly, his bullpen held the lead. Quite a feat. Josh Bell (YA) continued his breakout season, homering twice, singling, walking and driving in 4. Paul DeJong (PM) homered, doubled, walked, scored twice and drove in 4. Stephen Strasburg (CB) allowed a run in 8 innings, striking out 7 for the win.

DUDS: Corey Seager (LCL) made an error that led to 3 unearned runs. Jon Lester (LCL) struck out 3 and allowed 5 runs in a 4.1-inning loss. Josh Hader (LCL) struck out 2 but allowed a run in a 1-inning loss. Daniel Murphy (WLB) walked and erred.