Week 1: Second Friday roundup

Oh, so Ketel Marte is a power hitter now? I guess it's not so bad as long as it hurts the Red Sox.

STUDS: Max Muncy (CB) finished a triple short of a cycle, drove in 3 and walked. Nick Ahmed (CB) doubled twice, singled and scored 3 runs. Trevor Story (WLB) hit a 2-run homer and a solo homer. Ketel Marte (PM) homered from both sides of the plate — including a grand slam — as the Diamondbacks pounded the Red Sox. Joe Musgrove (FF) outpitched his Fish teammate Sonny Gray, striking out 8 and earning the win in 7 shutout innings. Ryan Braun (M) had a 3-run homer and an RBI single. Rhys Hoskins (LCL) went 3 for 4 with a walk, a run and 4 RBIs.

DUD: Jose Quintana (WLB) was a disaster in Milwaukee, allowing 8 runs and fanning 3 in a 3-inning loss.

Week 2: Second Thursday's Roundup

Scouting report: plus-plus fastball, plus-plus changeup, plus-plus curveball, minus-minus beard. Look at that terrible thing.

STUDS: Nick Markakis (HG) went berserk, going 5-for-5 with 3 doubles, 3 runs and 5 RBIs. A 16-point day without a homer. Stephen Strasburg (CB) struck out 9 in 6.2 shutout innings for the win.

DUDS: Willson Contreras (LCL) walked and made an error.

Week 1: Wednesday's Roundup

"Thank you for letting me hit off this pitching staff."

STUDS: Juan Soto (WLB) was a triple shy of the cycle, drove in 3 and walked. Joey Lucchesi (WLB) struck out 6 in 5 shutout innings for the win. Wade Davis (WLB) earned a win with 1.1 innings of shutout relief, striking out 2. Jacob deGrom (FF) struck out 14 in 7 shutout innings... and even earned the win, because the Mets scored 6 whole runs for him. Six! Slow down, guys, that should be enough for 5 more starts according to the equation you worked out last year. Jake also hit one the hell out of Miami's stupid stadium, which was awesome. Anthony Rendon (YA) was a triple shy of the cycle and scored 3 runs. Willson Contreras (LCL) homered, singled twice and drove in 2.

DUDS: Aaron Nola (HG) gave up 6 runs - on 3 homers - and struck out 2 in 3 innings. He didn't get the loss... because teammate David Robertson (HG) took care of that for him, allowing the walkoff run on a damn bases loaded walk. Nice work, Phillies pitchers who are on my team. That's a combined minus-5 points, ya turds. Ian Desmond (YA) singled and made an error. Of those two things, the single definitely surprises me more. Wil Myers (LCL) also singled and erred.

deGONE! #PitchersWhoRake pic.twitter.com/6iflUJivYE

— New York Mets (@Mets) April 3, 2019

Week 1: Tuesday roundup

With stiffs like John Ryan Murphy and Nick Ahmed in the lineup, it's no wonder Zack Greinke had to crank up the power.

Until this moment, Manny Machado actually thought his
teammate was Clemson wide receiver Hunter Renfrow.

Coming to you via tape delay...

STUDS: Hunter Renfroe (R) hit a 2-run homer and a solo homer, both off Arizona's Zack Greinke. Jean Segura (YA) went 3 for 5 with a double, 2 runs and 3 RBIs. The aforementioned Greinke allowed 3 runs and struck out 10 in a 6-inning win. He also hit a pair of homers and drove in 4 runs! Too bad ESPN won't let us count offensive stats for pitchers. Sorry, Adam. Bryce Harper (LCL) told those booing Nats fans where to stick it, missing only the triple for a cycle and driving in 3.

DUDS: Jorge Alfaro (R) scored a run and committed an error. Robinson Cano (LCL) singled and erred.

OUCH: Trea Turner got plunked on the hand during a bunt attempt and will miss time with a broken finger. Sorry, Ray.

Week 1: Monday Roundup

We're starting to see the problem with the Cubs defense. It's not leapfrog!

STUDS: Ketel Marte (PM) had 3 singles, 3 runs, an RBI and a steal. David Peralta (PM) doubled stwice, singled, scored twice and drove in 1. Ozzie Albies (R) had 2 doubles, a single, 2 runs, an RBI and a walk.

DUDS: Matt Strahm (HG) allowed 5 runs and struck out 2 in a 2.2-inning loss. Trevor Story (WLB) went 0-fer with an error. Cody Bellinger (R) singled and erred. Raisel Iglesias (R) allowed a run in an inning to take the loss. Anthony Rizzo (FF) singled and made 2 errors. Who does he think he is, Pedro Alvarez? Javier Baez (AL) singled and erred. In fact, the Cubs had 6 errors in the game's first 6 innings. Weird they lost. Austin Hedges (YA) made an error - maybe he should be a Cub!

Week 1: Sunday Roundup

Adorable elf Trea Turner needs a child-sized helmet.

Hey, it's my first time doing the roundup this season. Let's see how many Mets jokes we can cram in here.

STUDS: Christian Yelich (HG) just keeps on trucking. Hoe homered, doubled, drove in 3, walked 3 times and scored twice. Trea Turner (CB) homered twice and drove in 4, adding a steal and a third run scored. Trevor Williams (CB) struck out 6 in a 6 shutout innings for the win. Jake Arrieta (WLB) pitched kinda crappy but allowed only 1 run in 6 innings with 6 strikeouts for the win as the Braves wasted a gazillion walks. Ketel Marte (PM) tripled, singled, scored and drove in 2. Cody Bellinger (R) has a permanent reservation in this spot - he homered, singled twice and scored 3 runs. Sean Doolittle (YA) let in all the runners Trevor Rosenthal put on base to blow the save, but recovered for a 1.2-inning, 2 strikeout vulture win.

DUDS: Scott Schebler (HG) earned a spot on the pine with his 0-fer-and-an-error game. Walker Buehler - drafted 9th overall, let's not forget - had a rough first start, allowing 5 runs and striking out as many guys as I did yesterday in a 3-inning no decision. There will be better days for the pride of Vanderbilt, but yesterday was a stinker. Ender Inciarte (FF) walked and got caught stealing. Sonny Gray (FF) served up a steaming pile, allowing 2 earned runs in 2.2 innings to take the loss and making a really spectacular error. Eugenio Suarez - which you can't spell without a big ol' E - made an error and also walked.

Not a single Met joke! This is ridiculous. Where's Travis d'Arnaud when you really need him?

Week 1: Saturday roundup

You know it's a blowout when both teams use backup catchers on the mound. Russell Martin pitched a 1-2-3 inning,
but Arizona's John Ryan Murphy was no better than any other Diamondbacks pitcher. He allowed 7 runs in 2 innings.

Cody Bellinger shows the excitement hitters will feel
when the Diamondbacks pitching staff comes to town.

STUDS: Another awful day for the Arizona pitching staff means another big day for Dodgers hitters. Joc Pederson (PM) went 3 for 3 with a homer, 2 walks and 4 runs. Cody Bellinger (R) homered twice, singled twice and drove in 6. Justin Turner (M) went 3 for 3 with 5 RBIs, 3 runs and a walk. It was also a good day for catchers named Willson/Wilson. Willson Contreras (LCL) went 3 for 5 with 2 doubles, 2 RBIs and a run. Wilson Ramos (HG) doubled, singled, walked, drove in 2 and scored 3 runs. Cesar Hernandez (M) tripled, singled, stole a base, scored twice and drove in a run. Freddie Freeman (LCL) went 4 for 5 with 2 doubles and 2 RBIs. Jeff McNeil (CB) went 4 for 5 with a triple, a double, 2 RBIs and 2 runs. Juan Soto (WLB) went 3 for 5 with a double, 2 RBIs, a run and a steal.

DUDS: Zack Godley (WLB) got hammered by the Dodgers, allowing 7 runs and striking out 3 in a 5.1-inning loss. Robinson Cano (LCL) went 0 for 5 with an error.

WEATHER: The Reds-Pirates game was postponed and will be made up as part of a doubleheader later this season.