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| If you thought Adam Duvall's 2016 breakout was a fluke, you were wrong. |
The commissioner's office fell asleep on the job last week, letting the blog fall through the cracks. Did you care? Were you sad? Did you even notice? (Please let us know; if no one cares about the daily blog, why bother?) We half-assedly apologize for the service disruption. One commissioner was spending every waking minute voting for Corey Seager to be the National League's starting shortstop in the All-Star Game; the other was in mourning after perennial waiver-wire trash Adeiny Hechavarria was shipped to the American League.
1. Clemente’s Bucs (2435.5 points, 9-4, last week, 1): We've been singing the praises of Primanti's Pals for a while, but Ray's crew was mostly unimpressive in Week 13. Clayton Kershaw and Stephen Strasburg combined to strike out 25 batters and pick up a pair of wins in 14 innings, but the rest of the team let out a collective yawn. Yes, the starting pitchers won all 4 of their starts. Unfortunately, the offense provided only 1 homer in a loss to the Fresh Fish.
2. Bodysuit Man (2392.2 points, 9-4, last week 2): A high-powered matchup between Constanza and Zevon sure lived up to its potential, with LGM winning 213.8-181.5. Adam Duvall (34) went berserk, doubling 4 times, homering 3 times and driving in 10. Every BM hitter scored at least 11.5 points, which usually leads to victory. Gio Gonzalez (22) had a strange week, going 0-2 while allowing only 2 earned runs and fanning 17 batters in 13 innings. Sean Newcomb (19) had a fantastic outing and picked up BM's only pitching win.
3. The Rookies (2353.8 points, 8-5, last week 3): Are the Rookies the best team in FBLG? Look at it this way: While the rest of us are scraping guys like Jose Urena, Tim Adleman and Scott Feldman off the bottom of the waiver-wire barrel, Henry is throwing Max Scherzer, Jon Lester, Zack Greinke and Alex Wood out there every week. Those 4 combined for 102 points in a shellacking of Project Mayhem. Chris Owings (29) homered 3 times for the Rookies; Tommy Joseph, Ian Happ and Domingo Santana each homered twice.
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Michael Wacha is pretty excited to be
pitching well again. |
4. Lawyers Guns and Money (2329.7 points, 9-4, last week 4): LGM batters hit 13 homers and drove in 34 runs as Matt's offense erupted in a victory against Bodysuit Man. Joey Votto (33) and Bryce Harper (29) did most of the damage, but Willson Contreras (22.5) and Joe Panik (20) did their part as well. On the pitching side, we can't explain the positive contributions from Jhoulys Chacin (22), Jimmy Nelson (21) and Tim Adleman (16). Horse-faced doofus John Lackey (-3.7) sure stunk it up, though.
5. Pitch! You Blockhead (2302.2 points, 6-7, last week 5): So much about Scott's 206.3-point performance against the commissioners drove Rich crazy. Denard Span (26.5) led the offense by doing all the things he never did in multiple stints on the commishes' teams. Jeff Samardzija (28.3) picked up a pair of wins. Jacob deGrom (23) had a huge game for the LOLMets. Jim Johnson (26) — wait, Jim Johnson did WHAT?!? — struck out 10 batters in 4 innings, saved 3 games and "earned" a win after blowing a save.
6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (2207.5 points, 4-9, last week 6): The Fightin' Hueys continue to be one of FBLG's most inconsistent (least consistent?) teams. They found themselves on the "meh" side of the pendulum in Week 13, losing to PYB by about 50 points. Trea Turner (19) looked pretty good before breaking his hand, and now Yoenis Cespedes is hurt (again) too. Jon Gray (19) might be what the pitching staff has been missing all season, and Mike Foltynewicz (20) flirted with a no-hitter in Oakland.
7. Fresh Fish (2173.3 points, 7-6, last week 7): Rick's pitching staff picked up 5 wins — including 2 by Jekyll-and-Hyde closer Fernando Rodney — in a win against Clemente's Bucs. Anthony Rendon (25) powered an offense that smacked 8 homers, including 1 by string-bean slapper Billy Hamilton. Steven Matz (16) had a rare great outing for an even-rarer healthy Mets pitcher, but Brandon Finnegan (-1) was pretty awful.
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Dud of the Week D.J. LeMahieu did a lot more of this
in Week 13 than hitting his trademark 27-hoppers
to the right fielder. |
8. Arbitration Losers (2119 points, 7-6, last week 8): Oof. Michael Wacha (35) won twice for the Losers, but it wasn't enough as Tim's club got whacked by the previously winless Misfits. Tanner Roark (-1) was terrible, Mark Melancon (3) got hurt, Keon Broxton (4) and Brandon Crawford (6) were no-shows, and D.J. LeMahieu (3) did literally nothing but hit 3 singles. "All grounders to right field, I bet!" Rich says.
9. Project Mayhem (2069.2 points, 5-8, last week 9): If 2 of your top hitters don't play, you're unlikely to win. If your opponent scores 228.5 points, you have no shot. That was the story for Bill, who got nice efforts from Jedd Gyorko (24), Aaron Nola (19) and Taijuan Walker (17.3), but little else from anyone else. Kris Bryant (8.5) and Ryan Zimmerman (7) were letdowns; Carlos Gonzalez and Michael Conforto never hit the field. And now Ian Desmond is on the DL. Uh-oh.
10. The Misfits (1853.7 points, 1-12, last week 10): We knew it would happen eventually, and in Week 13 it finally did. Reid's team got its first W of the season by beating Reid's former newspaper co-worker. Sorry, Tim. Every Misfit batter reached double digits in points, with Stephen Piscotty (20) and Michael Taylor (20) leading the way. If we have to nitpick, the pitching (31.7 total) was nothing to get excited about, and Brandon McCarthy got hurt and didn't pitch at all.
