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| Because there's no one to stop me, get ready for some Bob Dylan lyrics. |
Welcome to the Week 14 Check Swing, this week featuring the lyrics of Bob Dylan. Because, that's why. Each team will get an appropriate lyric, or something.
There was some shuffling among the 2-3-4 teams in the standings, and the 5 is catching up quickly. Still a lot to be sorted out in the last few weeks before the playoffs.
The scoreboard
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Finally an all-star, we really hope Nick Markakis shows
up to Washington DC looking like this. |
1. Fasano Don't Dance (2591.7 points, 9-5, last week 1): The commishes extended their points lead and held on for a narrow win against PYB. The pitching was half really good: Jacob deGrom (15) allowed one run in 8 innings and of course didn't get the win, and Carlos Martinez (30) picked up a pair of wins. The pitching was half pretty awful: Robbie Ray (10.3) allowed 10 runs in 9 innings across two starts, and Jack Flaherty (8.3) allowed 6 in 8 in HIS two starts. 68.7 pitching points is good, but with seven starts you hope for more. Among hitters, first-time all-star Nick Markakis (21.5) led the way, with Chris Taylor (20) also having a big week. Of course, Taylor had 21 points after Thursday, so that tells you how his weekend went. One of FBLG's least powerful clubs even managed 6 homers for the week.
BOB DYLAN LYRIC: "Like a poor fool in his prime / Yes, I know you can hear me walk." Primary first baseman Carlos Santana has 68 walks and 65 hits this year.
2. Fresh Fish (2528.3 points, 8-6, last week 4): The NL all-star team is mostly comprised of Fresh Fish, it seems. Javier Baez (20), Scooter Gennett 914.5), Buster Posey (11.5) and Matt Kemp (22.5) all made the squad, as did Max Scherzer (20 in 2 starts) and Patrick Corbin (11). (What, no love for Mark Melancon and Maikel Franco?) The Fish rolled to a big win against the Arbitration Losers and vaulted two spots in the standings in the process. In addition to the aforementioned stars, Justin Bour (21.5) and Wil Myers (20.5) had big weeks as the offense rolled up 136.5 points. That'll work. The pitching wasn't great - even Scherzer allowed 7 runs and took a loss - but it was good enough for the big win. Thurston High School graduate Dan Straily pitched exactly like you would expect a Thurston graduate to pitching, striking out a mere 1 batter in 6 innings. What year do you think this is, Dan? Spoken as the co-owner of the team directly ahead of this one in the standings, I can say this team scares the pee out of me. Way too many good hitters and a pair of aces. Yikes.
BOB DYLAN LYRIC: "Look out kid / You're gonna get hit." Good advice to any pitcher facing these guys.
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| Everybody hates Ned Flanders and left-handed pitchers. |
3. Stable Geniuses (2516.5 points, 7-7, last week 2): It was a brutal, brutal week for Matt's pitching staff in the loss to BodySuit Man. Sean Newcomb, who has been one of SG's steadiest starters, barfed up a combined -4.7 in 2 starts, allowing 10 runs and taking a pair of losses in 6.1 innings. The good news? He didn't get hurt. The same can't be said for Max Fried (-3, now on the DL) or Brent Suter (5, now on the DL). Matt, buddy, you can't have that many lefties on your staff at once. It angers the baseball gods. The proof is in the fact that the team's righties (Brad Boxberger and Ross Stripling) combined for 30 points... and your whole staff finished with 27.3. As usual, the Geniuses' offense was sharp, with fat guy Jesus Aguilar (25.5) and skinny guy Trea Turner (25.5) leading the way. Aguilar hit 3 of the team's 9 homers for the week (and really filled out his uniform). Jorge Alfaro (4) managed neither a single nor a walk, but did double and drive in 2. SG now finds itself looking up at the Fresh Fish in the points race.
BOB DYLAN LYRIC: "Well, you bet on a horse and it ran the wrong way." Left-handed pitchers always find a way to let you down.
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| The OG. (Original Gorky) |
4. Arbitration Losers (2500.5 points, 10-4, last week 3): Appropriate to their name, the Losers lost to the Fresh Fish and fell a spot in the standings in the process. Apparently, Tim's pitching decided to take the week off after clinching a playoff spot. 16 points total?!?! That's just silly. Closer Bud Norris had a save and 3 strikeouts for 8 points... and was the leading scorer on the staff. Julio Teheran (7) and Jon Lester (4.3) were poor, but better than Johnny Cueto (-1) and Chris Stratton (-2.3, demoted to Triple-A). 0-3, 22 earned runs in 24 innings for the staff, that's not really going to get it done. And it wasted a huge week by the offense, who exploded for 136 points. JT Realmuto (26) was the star, finishing with 11 hits and 9 RBis. Matt Carpenter (21) continued his tear and Bryce Harper (20.5) scored mainly on walks (9) and runs (8). Whatever it takes, really. Even Gorkies (fixed that for you) Hernandez put up 16. The offense had 15 doubles and 34 runs, all told. Assuming that the pitching can get back on track, this team isn't out of it, even though Project Mayhem is sneaking up on them in the standings.
BOB DYLAN LYRIC: "So don't fear if you hear / A foreign sound to your ear / It's alright, Ma, I'm only sighing." The Arbitration Losers' pitching coach might be hitting the bottle this week.
5. Project Mayhem (2475.3 points, 7-7, last week 5): Bill's team keeps rolling, this time with a big win against Clemente's Bucs. And he's doing it with... pitching? (Checks the page again, hits refresh.) Yes, it says here "pitching." Huh. Sneaky ace Aaron Nola (20) continues to amaze, and is now second on the pitching points leaderboard. (BECAUSE HIS TEAM GETS HIM WINS. SEE HOW THAT WORKS, METS?) Kyle Freeland (21 in 2 starts) and Tyler Mahle (14.7) were both sharp as well, with only Jameson Taillon (6.7) suffering a loss. He didn't even pitch badly in it. 73 pitching points will go a long way when your offense is this stacked: Young man Juan Soto (19.5) led an extremely balanced attack in Week 14. Tommy Pham (17.5), Eric Thames (16.5), Nolan Arenado (15), Marcell Ozuna (13) and Ben Zobrist (12.5) also did their share. We'll call this a "James Loney" week because PM managed 24 RBIs with just 4 homers and 7 doubles. James would be so proud. Bill has vaulted himself into contention, sitting just behind the four leaders after his meteoric rise up the standings.
BOB DYLAN LYRIC: "I wouldn't change it, even if I could / You know what they say man, it's all good." It's a four-game winning streak for Project Mayhem.
6. Pitch You Blockhead (2422.5 points, 6-8, last week 6): Scott's bunch fought valiantly but came up just short in a loss to FDD. The pitching was stellar: four wins, three saves and 73 points. Closer Corey Knebel led the way with 23 points, including a vulture win. Dodgers Rich Hill (13) and Alex Wood (20 in 2 starts) were solid, and out-of-nowhere all-star Miles Mikolas (12) had a good win. Offensively, Charlie Blackmon (23.5) was his usual self, with 3 homers and 6 runs. Yasmani Grandal (22.5) had a big week. And then there was Billy Hamilton (21), torturing the basepaths to the tune of 6 steals and 5 runs. They say you can't steal first base, so that means Billy was actually on base a few times... wait, 8 hits? And 2 walks? Well knock me over with a feather. In less exciting offensive news, hot-and-cold first baseman Anthony Rizzo (6) was dreadful, with 3 singles and 3 RBIs all week. Wilmer Difo (2), Asdrubal Cabrera (6) and Corporal Dansby Swanson (9) (he was demoted in rank for failure to hit a baseball) didn't bring much to the table.
BOB DYLAN LYRIC: "Sooner or later, one of us must know / That I really did try to get close to you." Trailing by almost 20 points coming into Sunday, PYB was an Alex Wood win away from stealing the victory.
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| Where has this GIF been all my life? |
7. BodySuit Man (2406 points, 7-7, last week 7): Adam's hilariously random pitching staff was stellar in the win against the Stable Geniuses. Freddy Peralta (16), who no one had heard of a month ago, Zach Eflin (16), who has gone from no-name to ace-worthy, and Matt Harvey (7.7), who is a Red, each pitched well, as did the less-surprising Jake Arrieta (18) and Sean Doolittle (13). All told, 4-0 with 1 save and 70.7 points for this staff. Peralta and Eflin both look like future stars, and that future might be "later this summer." Starlin Castro (23.5) hit an amazing 12 singles to lead the offensive attack. Ketel "One" Marte (17) hit a couple of annoying homers, and even the mostly inept Adam Duvall limped along to 10 points. Only Jose Martinez (6) was truly hideous on offense... well, other than the once-again-injured-oh-what-a-truly-stunning-surprise Ryan Braun. Don't do drugs, kids.
BOB DYLAN LYRIC: "There are no mistakes in life some people say / It is true sometimes you can see it that way." Maybe it was all part of Matt Harvey's grand plan to get the hell away from the Mets.
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| Ani-ba-ah-ah-ah-ah-al! |
8. The Misfits (2333.7 points, 7-7, last week 8): I'm going on record: it is never, ever, ever, ever a good sign when Anibal Sanchez is your leading scorer in a week. Never ever. So it was for Reid last week, and unsurprisingly the Misfits fell to the Rookies. Sanchez (25.7) was 1-0 with 12 strikeouts in 12.2 innings. Which is really good! Tyson Ross (-7) allowed 8 runs and struck out 2 in 2 innings. Which is really bad! Clayton Kershaw (11) had a low-scoring win, and HEY! WADE! Davis (12) had a couple of saves. But Anibal - which I can't say without saying it like David Lee Roth screaming "PAN-A-MA!" - had well over half of Reid's pitching points which, again, bad sign. Old Neck Tat Yadier Molina (21.5) had a good week to lead the offense, as did unexpected revelation Max Muncy (18.5). Trevor Story (16.5) has turned into a consistent star. On the lamer side, Josh Harrison (6), Eric Hosmer (5.5) and Gerardo Parra (4.5) didn't help much. Anibal Sanchez and Yadier Molina as a team's leading scorers for a week. It literally boggles the mind.
BOB DYLAN LYRIC: "I catch dinosaurs / I make love to Elizabeth Taylor... / Catch hell from Richard Burton." Like Bob Dylan, Reid has done all these things.
9. The Rookies (2315.2 points, 5-9, last week 9): Every year, there's a tendency to think Zack Greinke might be done, washed up. He's 34, has pitched a billion innings, and he always starts slow. Plus, he's such a weirdo that you could see him just wandering off the mound one day and never coming back. Well, he's now fifth in pitching points in FBLG, and he put up 21 in 2 starts last week to help lead the Rookies past the Misfits. Fellow billion-inning pitcher Madison Bumgarner (18.3) pitched decently in 2 starts, and closer Felipe "Vazquez" (13) was awesome in 3 appearances. But Trevor Williams (-5.7), who looked like an ace not long ago, continued his struggles. He's only had one really good start since mid-May. Henry's offense was half-have, half-have-not. Eugenio Suarez - who is leading the NL in RBIs - drove in 7 en route to a 25.5-point week. Ozzie Albies (23.5), David Peralta (22) and Freddie Freeman (20.5) were also awesome. Less so? Tucker Barnhart (3), Dexter Fowler (1) and Chris Owings (1).
BOB DYLAN LYRIC: "She says 'You can't repeat the past.' I say 'You can't? What do you mean you can't? Of course you can.' " Never count out old man Greinke.
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| "My team is WHERE in the standings?!" |
10. Clemente's Bucs (2210 points, 4-10, last week 10): More of the same for Ray's guys in the loss to Project Mayhem. Aside from the torrid Paul Goldschmidt (29), the offense might as well have not shown up. Rhys Hoskins (16) and Miguel Rojas (14) did some damage, but Brandon Nimmo (5.5), Cesar Hernandez (5.5), Christian Villanueva (8), Adam Eaton (6.5) and Austin Meadows (-1) only damaged the air around the ball when they swung and missed. So let's talk about Goldschmidt, since that's a happy topic. In his past 34 games, he is hitting .376/.471/.752 with 13 homers, 32 RBIs and 29 runs. Who cares if he doesn't steal bases any more? He's hitting like Barry Bonds, without all the cynicism and jackassery. Ray's pitching staff doesn't inspire much more confidence, aside from ace closer Kenley Jansen, and even HE blew a save/took a loss during a 10.3-point week. Luis Castillo (15.7 in 2 starts) was OK, as was Chase Anderson (10.3). Jose Quintana (13) provided the team's only win, but managed just four strikeouts. Goldschmidt and Hoskins make this team fun and somewhat functional, but the rest is a bit of a mess.
BOB DYLAN LYRIC: "There is a place you go / Where teardops fall." And that place is the bottom of the standings.
Hitting leaders after Week 14
1. Freddie Freeman (R) 290.5
2. Nick Markakis (FDD) 283.5
3. Ozzie Albies (R) 282.5
5. Paul Goldschmidt (CB) 275
5. Nolan Arenado (PM) 273.5
Pitching leaders after Week 14
1. Max Scherzer (FF) 311.7
2. Aaron Nola (PM) 250
3. Jacob deGrom (FDD) 247.3
4. Patrick Corbin (FF) 235
5. Zack Greinke (R) 218
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| Aaron Nola just might steal your soul. |
