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| The Miami outfield scored more than 100 points in Week 16. |
The commissioner's office apologizes (once again) for the lateness of this week's roundup. We spent all of our free time lately preparing a speech for Bud Selig's Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Rich and I couldn't decide which version we liked better, so in the end we just declared it a tie. And with that...
If we understand ESPN's playoff setup — and how could you not grasp every nuance of ESPN's league setup? — we think we might possibly maybe know which teams are making the FBLG playoffs. With 2 weeks left in the regular season, The Misfits are 3 games out of 4th place in the Koufax Division and Project Mayhem is 3 games out of 4th place in the Mays Division. That means our playoff teams are locked in, right?
1. Clemente’s Bucs (3133.8 points, 12-4, last week, 1): You know how the kids like to say something is stupid, but they mean it's good? Yeah, we don't get it either. Anyway, last week Ray got zeroes from the injured Justin Bour and Stephen Strasburg, plus a total of minus-4 from Pirates starters Ivan Nova (4) and Jameson Taillon (-8). Yet the Bucs still posted 190 points in a win, in part because Andrew McCutchen (28.5) and J.D. Martinez (32) hit 5 homers each. That's just stupid.
2. Bodysuit Man (3057.3 points, 11-5, last week 2): Adam's team had a week that math nerds would love: Every player's score was a whole number except for the 17.5 posted by Chris Taylor. Yeah, that's a dorky thing to point out, but we're running out of things to say about these guys when they keep winning. Oh, it's nice to see Gerrit Cole (32) finally pitching like the ace he's supposed to be.
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| Our Dud of the Week can drown his sorrows with a beverage of the same name. |
3. Lawyers Guns and Money (3026.3 points, 11-5, last week 3): That LGM offense continues to strike fear in the hearts of opponents. Marcell Ozuna (34) struck again, and every other hitter reached double figures. We're still not sure about the rotation, which was led by Luis Castillo (19), who we could have sworn was a second baseman for the Marlins back in the day. Trevor Cahill (1) pitched like you would expect a chubby doofus to pitch.
4. The Rookies (2995.2 points, 9-7, last week 4): As usual, Henry's pitching was great. The hitting wasn't up to par, though — and the Rooks lost a close one to Quirk. Zack Greinke (37) won both of his starts; Alex Wood (13), Jon Lester (14) and Max Scherzer (19) also won their starts. The blame falls on the 4 position players who failed to reach double digits, plus the unusually sluggish Freddie Freeman (11).
5. Pitch! You Blockhead (2913 points, 7-9, last week 5): Jacob deGrom had a great week, posting 30 points in a pair of outings. But the star of the show was Christian Yelich (37.5), who homered 3 times, doubled 5 times, drove in 8 and scored 9 times. That would be a pretty good week for the Giants as a team. Unfortunately for Scott, the rest of the Blockheads hit like ... well, the Giants.
6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (2815.2 points, 6-10, last week 6): Weird stat of the week: Nick Markakis (12) singled 5 times, doubled twice, walked 4 times ... and scored zero runs. Nice work, Braves. Beyond that, the pitching (84) was good enough to keep up with the mighty staff of The Rookies, and the uneven offense (100.5) did just enough to push the commissioners to the win. Kudos to Brandon Drury, who inexplicably has been benched to make room for Daniel Descalso and Ketel Marte.
7. Fresh Fish (2740.8 points, 8-8, last week 7): Let's see, there has to be something good to say about the Fish in Week 16. Hmm. Fernando Rodney (4) made the most of his 1 appearance, striking out the side. Dan Straily (2) had just as many points as losses. Adam Wainwright (DL) scored almost as many points as Straily. Asdrubal Cabrera (20) made only 1 error, which beat the over/under by 6.5.
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| After seeing FBLG's best team pick up J.D. Martinez, how do you feel about ESPN's waiver rules? |
8. Arbitration Losers (2726.7 points, 8-8, last week 8): Martin Prado (DL) continues to post zeroes for Tim, and you have to wonder whether Prado would have made the difference in a loss to LGM. Ha ha, just kidding! AL lost by about 25 points, and we don't think Prado has that in him anymore. Elsewhere, Julio Teheran (-1.3) had a horrible outing and Sam Dyson (5) blew a save.
9. Project Mayhem (2641.5 points, 5-11, last week 9): Bill had the No. 1 pick in this year's draft, but he might to have to go all-out 1998 Marlins fire sale to get the top pick in 2018. PM was once 5-5 and in the thick of things, but this club has now lost 6 in a row. But hey, at least Aaron Nola (21) and Taijuan Walker (20.7) were pretty good last week in a loss to Bodysuit Man.
10. The Misfits (2498.5 points, 3-13, last week 10): Reid's team is finally putting it all together, but it's probably too late to matter. For the second consecutive week, The Misfits cracked 200 points and are FBLG's top-scoring club. Giancarlo Stanton (33) went nuts, and 3 pitchers had a great week: Madison Bumgarner (27), Hyun-Jin Ryu (22) and German Marquez (20).
