Week 10: Thursday's Roundup

Everyone's favorite villainous Canuck, Joey Votto, hits as well as he trolls.

Studs: Trea Turner (Q) had 3 singles, a walk, 2 runs and 3 steals. Edinson Volquez (FF) continued his unfathomable hot streak, striking out 8 in 7 shutout innings for the win. Joey Votto (LGM) homered, singled 3 times, scored twice and drove in 2.

Duds: Gerrit Cole (BM) allowed 7 runs and struck out 5 in a 4.2-inning loss.

Week 10: Wednesday's Roundup

Dansby Swanson (left) celebrates his big day with his teammates.

Studs: Mike Foltynewicz (Q) struck out 4 in 7 shutout innings for the win. Jay Bruce (AL) homered twice and drove in 3. Zach Greinke (R) struck out 8 and allowed 3 runs in a 5-inning win. Dansby Swanson (CB) homered, singled twice, scored 3 runs and drove in 3. Clayton Kershaw (CB) allowed a run and struck out 9 in a 7-inning win. Nolan Arenado (PYB) was a homer shy of the cycle and drove in 3.

Duds: Michael Taylor (M) made an error. Tony Watson (R) continued his struggles, allowing 2 runs and blowing a save.

Week 10: Tuesday's Roundup

Hey, didn't you used to be Mark Reynolds?

Studs: Carlos Gonzalez (PM) homered, singled, walked twice, drove in 2 and scored 4 runs. Aaron Nola (PM) struck out 6 and allowed 1 run in an 8-inning win. Max Scherzer (R) was ridiculous, striking out 14 in 7 innings of shutout ball. Eugenio Suarez (CB) tripled, walked, scored twice and drove in 3. Jason Heyward (CB) doubled, twice, singled, scored and drove in 2. Chase Anderson (BM) who is pitching far too well this year, struck out 4 in 7.2 shutout innings for the win. Mark Reynolds (PYB) homered twice and drove in 5. Hunter Renfroe (PB) homered twice. Robbie Ray (PYB) struck out 11 and allowed 1 run in 6.2 innings for the win. Anthony Rizzo (FF) homered, singled and drove in 4.

Ok Scherzer is an absolute psycho pic.twitter.com/eID8qyBT2T

— Ozzie (@OldComiskey) June 7, 2017

Duds: Addison Russell (M) went 0-fer with an error. Tony Watson (R) blew a save, allowing 2 runs and striking out 1 in an inning. Adam Frazier (CB) walked, scored and made an error. Jacob deGrom (PYB) allowed 8 runs and struck out 2 in a 4-inning loss. Adam Wainwright (FF) struck out 2 and allowed 9 runs in a 3.2-inning loss.

Week 10: Monday's Roundup

Thomas Richard Joseph. Seriously. Just pick a first name and go with it.

Studs: Tommy Joseph (R) was a triple shy of the cycle and drove in 3. Aaron Altherr (BM) homered, singled twice and drove in 3, adding a walk. Jeff Samardzija (PYB) struck out 10 and allowed 1 run in a 7.2-inning win.

Duds: None.

Week 9: The Check Swing

Stylish gent Andrew McCutchen is hitting again, which is bad news for opponents of Clemente's Bucs. 

1. Bodysuit Man (1636 points, 7-2, last week 1): It wasn't easy, but Art Vandelay held off the pesky Misfits for a 9.2-point win. Shame on each and every one of us for ranking behind a team whose top scorer this week was Chris Taylor and whose top pitcher was Chase Anderson. Next you're going to tell me Ryan Zimmerman is an MVP candidate. 

2. Clemente’s Bucs (1625.8 points, 6-3, last week, 2): Justin Bour (28) and Andrew McCutchen (27) led the way as Ray's team buried the commissioners with a balanced effort. The Bucs had no double starts but didn't need them — the staff went 3-1, and Clayton Kershaw managed a 20-point no-decision. Even Kyle Freeland scored 12 points, and he's like the Rockies' 8th-best starter. 

This is what Tanner Roark looks like without a beard.

3. Lawyers Guns and Money (1586.5 points, 7-2, last week 3): Oh, there you are, Trevor Story! The Colorado shortstop actually got 9 hits this week, which helps raise that batting average out of Ike Davis territory. Marcell Ozuna (25.5) continued to be one of FBLG's top outfielders, and Matt got 40 points out of a pair of Milwaukee pitchers (Jimmy Nelson and Zach Davies), which just doesn't make any damn sense. 

4. The Rookies (1573.3 points, 6-3, last week 4): We know all about Henry's deadly rotation (Lester/Scherzer/Greinke), but the hitting was what got it done for him in a win against the Fish. Ender Inciarte (26), Domingo Santana (22), Eduardo Nunez (18) and Tyler Flowers (18) provided most of the pop, and rookie Ian Happ (13.5) looks like he'll be a contributor all season. 

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (1520 points, 3-6, last week 6): Zack Cozart (27.5) and Nolan Arenado (24) continue to lead Scott's offense, and it's time we accept that Robbie Ray (24) is a fantasy ace. Unfortunately for Scott, Jacob deGrom (0) hasn't been consistent, Jonathan Villar (6.5) looks like a one-year wonder and Gregory Polanco (7.5) hasn't been the same since getting hurt last season. 

6. Project Mayhem (1504.2 points, 4-5, last week 5): The aforementioned Zimmerman homered 3 times, singled 6 times, doubled twice, drove in 9, scored 35 points and ... you know, I don't want to talk about it. Still, it wasn't good enough to earn Bill a W because the pitching was downright Quirkian. Closer Raisel Iglesias scored 9 points, which is almost as much as the starting rotation combined (13).  

Our Dud of the Week is the Quirkin'
 For a Livin' pitching coach, whose
career will be even shorter than
Huey Lewis'.

7. Fresh Fish (1488.8 points, 4-5, last week 7): Austin Hedges (20) blasted 3 more homers, and Daniel Murphy (28.5) kept putting up points in bunches. It wasn't enough to get the Fish past the Rookies, though. We're still waiting for first-round pick Anthony Rizzo to start playing like one, and Jake Arrieta has to be better than just "kinda good sometimes."  

8. Arbitration Losers (1475.5 points, 5-4, last week 9): Every hitter except the crippled Ryan Braun reached double figures for Tim, whose team posted 189.8 points to beat PYB. On the mound, AL got 30.7 points from Tanner Roark — that's not an error, folks. Carlos Martinez provided a 21-point outing, and Julio Teheran picked up 2 wins despite allowing 10 runs in 11.1 innings. 

9. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (1455.3 points, 3-6, last week 8): <crickets>

10. The Misfits (1233.2 points, 0-9, last week 10): Reid's team came so close to picking up its first win of the season, but the pitching just wasn't there. German Marquez (5), Wily Peralta (0.3), Brandon McCarthy (5) and Hyun-Jin Ryu (9) all failed to reach double digits. However, Giancarlo Stanton (24) and Michael Taylor (22.5) did a nice job to lead the offense. 

Week 9: Sunday's Roundup

Four shortstops made our Studs list, but Zack Cozart is head and shoulders above the rest.
The Cincinnati infielder is our top-scoring shortstop this year at 3.5 points per game. 

Studs: Trea Turner (Q) tripled, singled, stole 2 bases, scored twice, drove in 2 and walked. Andrew McCutchen (CB) went 3 for 5 with a homer, 3 RBIs and 3 runs. Freddy Galvis (BM) homered twice and drove in 3. Zach Davies (LGM) didn't allow a run and fanned 6 in a 6-inning win. Ryan Zimmerman (PM) was a triple short of a cycle, drove in 3 and scored twice. Brandon Crawford (AL) homered, singled and drove in 4. Zack Cozart (PYB) homered twice, tripled, scored twice, drove in 5 and walked. To prove he's still human, he committed an error. Ender Inciarte (R) went 5 for 5 with a homer, 5 RBIs, 2 runs and a walk. 

Duds: Michael Conforto (PM) doubled, singled, walked and committed 2 errors. Tommy Joseph (R) went 0-fer with an error. 

Week 9: Saturday's Roundup

Former Mariners legend Chris Taylor has a slash line of .328/.425/.560. 

Free agent Edison Volquez not only threw a no-hitter
against Arizona, he did it while striking out 10 and
throwing only 98 pitches. If you've ever seen Volquez
pitch, you know how remarkable that is. 

Studs: Chris Taylor (BM) was a triple short of a cycle, hit a grand slam, stole 2 bases, scored 3 runs and walked. Jim Johnson (PYB) struck out 2 in a 2-inning victory. 

Duds: Trea Turner (Q) went 0 for 5 and was caught stealing. Eugenio Suarez (CB) went 1 for 5 with a walk and an error. Jake Lamb (LGM) went 0 for 2 with a walk and an error. Asdrubal Cabrera (FF) went 0 for 3 with a walk and an error.