Week 12: Saturday's Roundup

While allowing 7 runs to the Marlins,  John Lackey
blames his shirt, his defense, his manager and the ex-wife
he divorced while she battled breast cancer.

Studs: Drew Pomeranz (R21) had a solo homer and an RBI single. He also earned the win while striking out 6 in 7 shutout innings. Andrew McCutchen (R21) hit a 3-run homer and a solo homer. Julio Teheran (R21) went 2 for 2 and struck out 7 in 8 shutout innings. Justin Bour (LGM) doubled, homered and drove in 3. Giancarlo Stanton (LGM) doubled, singled, drove in 3 and scored twice. 

Duds: Jhonny Peralta (HE) went 0 for 4 with an error. Jay Bruce (AL) went 1 for 4 with an error. Gio Gonzalez (AL) gave up 6 runs and fanned 5 in a 3-inning loss. John Lackey (LGM) struck out 5 but got knocked around for 7 runs in a 4.1-inning loss. 

Scores

Goldschmidt Happens 154, Arbitration Losers 110

The Lumbar Yard 151, Fresh Fish 113

Misfits 152, Retire 21 151

Rookies 121, Hundley Eyes 118

Pitch You Blockhead 157, Lawyers, Guns & Money 148

Week 12: Friday's Roundup

Steven Matz allowed 9 hits to the Braves. Yuck.

Studs: Wil Myers (PYB) was a triple short of a cycle, scored twice and drove in 5. Jean Segura (PYB) doubled twice, singled, scored twice, drove in a run and stole 2 bases. Brandon Belt (M) doubled twice, scored and drove in 3. 

Duds: Steven Matz (R21) had a strange day: He drove in a run with a sac fly, pitched 4.1 innings, allowed 9 hits and 6 runs, but didn't walk or strike out anyone. Trevor Rosenthal (HE) somehow keeps getting worse. He served up a game-losing 3-run homer without recording an out. 

Scores

Goldschmidt Happens 133, Arbitration Losers 90

The Lumbar Yard 125, Fresh Fish 94

Misfits 138, Retire 21 80

Hundley Eyes 109, Rookies 95

Pitch You Blockhead 123, Lawyers, Guns & Money 110

Week 12: Thursday's Roundup

Thursday featured no Studs or Duds. So here's a photo of cute puppies. 

Studs: None.

Duds: None.

Scores

Goldschmidt Happens 108, Arbitration Losers 74

The Lumbar Yard 99, Fresh Fish 83

Misfits 95, Retire 21 63

Hundley Eyes 104, Rookies 76

Pitch You Blockhead 82, Lawyers, Guns & Money 76

Week 12: Wednesday's Roundup

Gregory Polanco is quietly putting up MVP numbers this year.

Studs: Gregory Polanco (Misfits) homered, singled twice and drove in 3. Aledmys Diaz (Misfits) homered, singled twice and drove in 2. Michael Wacha (GH) struck out 5 and allowed 2 runs in a 6.2-inning win. Eugenio Suarez (Rookies) hit a 3-run homer and added a stolen base.

Duds: Ben Zobrist (HE) went 0-fer and made an error. Jeff Samardzija (PYB) allowed 6 runs and struck out 2 in 3 innings.


Scores

Goldschmidt Happens 71, Arbitration Losers 55
The Lumbar Yard 97, Fresh Fish 83
Misfits 63, Retire 21 36
Hundley Eyes 96, Rookies 63
Pitch You Blockhead 65, Lawyers, Guns & Money 60

Week 12: Tuesday's Roundup

Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand
Why he looks like a man but pitches like a turd.
NOLA
N-O-L-A NOLA
Na na na na NOLA

Studs: Jose Fernandez (HE) pitched 7 shutout innings with 7 strikeouts and an RBI single, leaving with a 2-0 lead that was immediately coughed up by the Miami "bullpen." Charlie Blackmon (GH) homered twice and scored three runs. Jay Bruce (AL) homered, doubled and drove in 4. Anthony DeSclafani (PYB) struck out 6 and allowed 2 runs in a 7-inning win. He's the first Reds pitcher to make this list since maybe Jose Rijo. Nolan Arenado homered, singled twice and drove in 3. (PYB) Zach Cozart (PYB) tripled, homered, drove in 3 and scored 3 times. Matt Kemp (Rookies) had 4 hits, including 2 doubles, and 2 RBIs. Johnny Cueto (FF) struck out 6 and allowed a run in a 6.2-inning win.

Duds: Jonathan Villar (Rookies) went 0-fer and made an error. Aaron Nola (LGM) was pounded for 7 runs in 3 innings by the mighty Twins offense.

Transaction: Pitch You Blockhead activates OF Yasiel Puig from the DL, benches OF Michael Conforto.

Scores

Arbitration Losers 40, Goldschmidt Happens 28
Fresh Fish 70, The Lumbar Yard 66
Misfits 42, Retire 21 19
Hundley Eyes 69, Rookies 40
Pitch You Blockhead 54, Lawyers, Guns & Money 34 

Week 12: Monday's Roundup

Little-known fact: Monday stud Shelby Miller was named after this car because he was conceived in the backseat.
(Citation needs verification).

Studs: In a shocking turn of events, Clayton Kershaw (FF) had a studly start. No, really. We're not kidding. This time, he shut down the Nationals, striking out 8 and allowing a run in a 7-inning win. He's 11-1 with a 1.57 ERA now, not to mention a 141:7 K:BB ratio and a .67 WHIP. Jaime Garcia (Rookies) got back to his winning ways, pitching 6.2 innings, striking out 6 and allowing 2 runs against the Cubs. Shelby Miller - no, really - struck out 5 and allowed 1 run in a 6.2-inning win. (We won't mention that it was against the Phillies, who batted Andres Blanco cleanup.) Shelby got that ERA down under 7, which is super. Marcell Ozuna (HE) hit 2 solo home runs in a game that featured 8 runs... on 8 solo home runs. Hey, that's a record!

Duds: Matt Carpenter (R21) was 0-for-3 and was caught stealing. Piece of advice, Matt: just because you're playing second base now doesn't mean you miraculously got faster.

Transaction: Retire 21 places OF Dexter Fowler on the DL and activates Nick Markakis.

Scores

Arbitration Losers 16, Goldschmidt Happens 8
The Lumbar Yard 41, Fresh Fish 25
Misfits 14, Retire 21 7
Hundley Eyes 27, Rookies 22
Lawyers, Guns & Money 14, Pitch You Blockhead 7

Week 12 Transactions and Lineups

FREE THE BEARD! Derek Norris has finally been uncaged.

Players acquired

• Fresh Fish steal SP Tom Koehler (June move #2) from Arbitration Losers.
• Misfits steal C Derek Norris (June move #1) from Pitch You Blockhead.
• Lawyers, Guns & Money sign 1B Justin Bour (June move #2).
• Hundley Eyes steal OF Billy Hamilton (June move #3) from Rookies.
• Retire 21 sign SS Jordy Mercer (June move #2).

Players released

• OF Michael Taylor
• IF/OF Brandon Drury

Players unprotected/available to be stolen

• SP James Shields (Fresh Fish)
• C Tony Wolters (Rookies)
• OF Angel Pagan (The Lumbar Yard)
• none on Goldschmidt Happens
• 2B Kelby Tomlinson (Misfits)
• 2B Chase Utley (LG&M)
• none on PYB
• IF/OF Kike Hernandez (Arbitration Losers)
• OF Denard Span (Hundley Eyes)
• OF Nick Markakis (Retire 21)

Please email the commish by first pitch Saturday to change your unprotected player.

• SP Junior Guerra (Arbitration Losers) and 3B Aaron Hill (Rookies) are also available to be stolen after spending four weeks on the bench.

Lineup changes

• Fresh Fish: None.
• Rookies: Bench SP Brandon Finnegan; activate SP Jon Niese.
• The Lumbar Yard: Bench SP Tanner Roark; place SP Tyler Chatwood and OF Chris Owings on DL; activate SP Shelby Miller (from DL) and SP Jeremy Hellickson.
• Goldschmidt Happens: None.
• Misfits: Bench OF Randal Grichuk and C Yasmani Grandal; place OF David Peralta on DL; activate C Derek Norris, OF Brandon Moss and OF Ender Inciarte.
• Lawyers, Guns & Money: Bench OF Odubel Herrera and 1B Tommy Joseph; activate OF Giancarlo Stanton and 1B Justin Bour.
• Pitch You Blockhead: Bench SP Colin Rea; place SP Matt Cain on the DL; activate SP Jeff Samardzija and SP Christian Friedrich.
• Arbitration Losers: None
• Hundley Eyes: Bench SP Jerad Eickhoff, SP Jon Gray and OF Denard Span; activate SP Jose Fernandez, SP Patrick Corbin and OF Billy Hamilton.
• Retire 21: Bench SS Freddy Galvis; activate SS Jordy Mercer.

Week 11: The Check Swing

Zack Greinke is finally delivering first-round value for the Arbitration Losers. 

1. Fresh Fish (2,057 points, 8-3, last week 1): Another week, another win for the mighty Fish. Bartolo Colon (22), Johnny Cueto (20) and Clayton Kershaw (19) led the way in big single-start weeks, and Martin Prado (20) and Jonathan Lucroy (20) paced the offense against the Misfits.

2. Hundley Eyes (1,995 points, 5-6, last week 2): Speaking of offense, there wasn't any for the commissioners in a loss to The Lumbar Yard. Matt Adams (0), Jhonny Peralta (7), Welington Castillo (8), Denard Span (9) and Stephen Piscotty (9) led the single-digit brigade at the plate.

3t. Lawyers, Guns & Money (1,957 points, 7-4, last week 3): Buster Posey (28), Adam Duvall (24) and Carlos Gonzalez (21) guided the Fightin' Zevons in a blowout win against GH. Not even the sad-sack efforts of Phillies teammates Tommy Joseph (0) and Aaron Nola (-1) could prevent the victory. 

3t. Arbitration Losers (1,957 points, 6-5, last week 6): The Losers put up the league's top point total against the Rookies thanks to a pair of strong outings from Zack Greinke (35) and a big number from comeback player of the year candidate Jay Bruce (24). 

5. Pitch You Blockhead (1,908 points, 5-6, last week 4): Wil Myers (30) had another strong week, but the Blockheads were done in by their pitching staff in a loss to R21.  Colin Rea (8), Matt Cain (4), Anthony DeSclafani (4) and Jeanmar Gomez (2) were ineffective to say the least.

Trevor Rosenthal earned our Dud of the Week Award 
by posting a negative point total in both of his appearances. 

6. Rookies (1,906 points, 5-6, last week 5): Jake Arrieta (22) continues to dominate, and Jonathan Villar (20) remains one of the league's top surprises. Jaime Garcia (2) and Mark Melancon (2) didn't do much to help the cause this week, though. 

7. Retire 21 (1,869 points, 5-6, last week 8): Who'd have thought that a pair of Braves would lead this team to a big week? Freddie Freeman posted a pair of zeroes but still totaled 51. Julio Teheran scored 32 points across a pair of outings. 

8. Misfits (1,832 points, 6-5, last week 7): Max Scherzer (37) was outstanding, and Justin Turner (31) is heating up. But there were plenty of Duds, including Matt Harvey (4), Aledmys Diaz (0) and Randal Grichuk (0). 

9. The Lumbar Yard (1,818 points, 6-5, last week 9): Anthony Rizzo (23) and Kenley Jansen (23) led the way for the Yard, and only Nick Hundley (9) and Tyler Chatwood (1) failed to reach double figures. That 6-man disabled list is pretty impressive, too. 

10. Goldschmidt Happens (1,634 points, 2-9, last week 10): It's the same recap as it was last week: Paul Goldschmidt (26) good, everyone else bad. There's always next year. 

Week 11: Sunday's Roundup

Julio Teheran had as many hits as he allowed on Sunday.

Studs: Anthony Rizzo (LY) homered, singled twice, drove in 3 and scored twice. Starling Marte (R) had a 2-run triple, singled twice, scored and stole a base. Kyle Hendricks (LGM) fanned a whopping 12 Pirates and allowed 1 run in a 6-inning win. Archie Bradley (AL) had a sac fly and allowed an unearned run while striking out 5 in a 6-inning win. Marcell Ozuna (HE) hit a 3-run homer and singled twice. Julio Teheran (R21) singled and struck out 7 in a 1-hit, complete-game victory. 

Duds: Aledmys Diaz (M) went 1 for 5 and made his 14th error. Brandon Finnegan (R) allowed 4 runs and struck out 1 in a 5-inning loss. Eugenio Suarez (R) went 0 for 3 and was caught stealing. Brandon Crawford (AL) went 0 for 4 with an error. 

Scores

Arbitration Losers 223, Rookies 169

The Lumbar Yard 182, Hundley Eyes 141

Lawyers, Guns & Money 193, Goldschmidt Happens 132

Fresh Fish 197, Misfits 156

Retire 21 202, Pitch You Blockhead 162