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Forget about the Nationals. The real tragedy is LGM losing Bryce Harper just as the FBLG playoffs begin. |
The FBLG regular season has ended, and there's been a change at the top of the rankings. Bodysuit Man has vaulted past Clemente's Bucs and claimed the top spot in the playoffs with a record of 13-5. That allows BM to match up with Arbitration Losers, who are on a 4-game losing streak, rather than Quirkin' For a Livin', which has won 4 in a row.
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"Look who's eating at 6 o'clock ... and updating the blog on Monday for a change." |
Here are the playoff matchups for Week 19:
1 Bodysuit Man v. 8 Arbitration Losers
2 Clemente's Bucs v. 7 Quirkin' For a Livin'
3 Lawyers Guns and Money v. 6 Pitch! You Blockhead
4 The Rookies v. 5 Fresh Fish
Consolation: Project Mayhem v. The Misfits
1. Bodysuit Man (3418.2 points, 13-5, last week 2): The Fightin' Marine Biologists storm into the postseason with a 208.7-point performance and a drubbing of LGM. Matt Carpenter (25.5) paced the offense, which provided an impressive 155 points as every player reached double figures. Gio Gonzalez (17), Gerrit Cole (17) and John Lackey (14.3) each picked up a win, and only Zach Davies (-0.3) laid an egg.
2. Clemente’s Bucs (3406.5 points, 12-6, last week, 1): A terrible week for the Sons of LaValliere dropped Ray's team to the No. 2 spot in the rankings. Johan Camargo (0) injured his leg running onto the field — no joke — but he wasn't the only Dud on the roster. J.T. Realmuto (2.5) didn't do much of anything, and Matt Adams (4) reverted to his St. Louis form. Ivan Nova (2.3) was pretty bad, and Brent Suter (6) was unimpressive in a pair of starts. Eugenio Suarez (24.5) and Kenley Jansen (21) shined, though.
3. Lawyers Guns and Money (3346 points, 12-6, last week 3): Bryce Harper (17) shredded his knee, Willson Contreras (2.5) got hurt, Jimmy Nelson (-4.3) was terrible, Trevor Story (2) didn't do a damn thing, and A.J. Pollock (9) and Marcell Ozuna (9.5) cooled off. Not everything went wrong, though. Joey Votto (32) walked 12 times — TWELVE! He also homered twice and scored 10 runs.
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Be honest: You have no idea if this is actually Jose Pirela, do you? |
4. The Rookies (3306 points, 10-8, last week 4): Henry's top scorer in a win against the Losers was not Max Scherzer (29), Freddie Freeman (19), Alex Wood (13), Jon Lester (9) or Zack Greinke (8.7). No, it was everyone's favorite anonymous Padre, Jose Pirela (32). Pirela's 10 hits included 3 homers and 3 doubles, and he walked 6 times as well. Meanwhile, Scherzer almost reached 30 points without even picking up a win. He struck out 19 in 14 innings and allowed 4 runs.
5. Pitch! You Blockhead (3224.8 points, 8-10, last week 5): The Blockheads got some big performances to knock off the Fish. All-star shortstop Zack Cozart (28.5) homered 4 times, and Jacob deGrom (20.7) fanned 9 in a 6.2-inning win. Also, Kenta Maeda (25.3) was strong in a pair of outings. Oddly, Scott's Colorado hitters weren't very good: Nolan Arenado (7.5), Jonathan Lucroy (7) and Mark Reynolds (5) were disappointments.
6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (3149.3 points, 8-10, last week 6): It's a good thing for the commissioners that the offense stepped up with 10 homers and 11 doubles because the pitching staff fell into an open manhole, got trapped in the sewer and drowned. Yes, these guys beat Clemente's Bucs in a week in which their pitchers went 0-3 with a blown save and 18 runs allowed in 26.1 innings. Well done, Mike Foltynewicz (-5.3) and Greg Holland (-6.3).
7. Arbitration Losers (3053.5 points, 8-10, last week 8): Tim's team was a 2-man operation in Week 18, and 2 men aren't quite enough to win at baseball. Carlos Martinez (33) pitched like a stud while going 2-0, and Ryan Braun (31.5) stayed healthy long enough to rack up 15 hits. Paul Goldschmidt (18.5) blasted 3 homers — yet scored only 4 runs and drove in no one but himself. I blame Daniel Descalso and Jeff Mathis. Also, Martin Prado (Witness Protection Program) is nowhere to be found.
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Greg Holland pitched once and posted a score of -6.3. That makes him a lock for Dud of the Week. |
8. Fresh Fish (3048.2 points, 9-9, last week 7): Rick's hitters put up 73 points, and his pitchers posted 69.3. That's a terrible ratio and a recipe for a loss. Jake Arrieta (30.3) looked like his Cy Young-winning self, and Patrick Corbin (19.7) looked like, well, someone who pitches better than Patrick Corbin. On the offensive side, only Billy Hamilton (17.5) scored more than 10 points. Where are you hiding, Anthony Rizzo, Anthony Rendon, Hunter Pence and Daniel Murphy?
9. Project Mayhem (3015.3 points, 6-12, last week 9): It figures that the two FBLG teams that were eliminated from playoff contention weeks ago combined to produce the most entertaining matchup of the week. In a back-and-forth slugfest, PM ended The Misfits' hot streak by winning 205.3-201.8. For Fight Club, Ryan Zimmerman (31) must have gotten tired of this blogger ripping him for being a first-half wonder. Zim hit 3 homers. Michael Conforto (24) managed only 4 hits, but all of them left the yard. Randal Grichuk (29) and Kris Bryant (28.5) also had big weeks for Project Mayhem.
10. The Misfits (2897.5 points, 4-14, last week 10): Giancarlo Stanton (35.5) and Justin Turner (26.5) combined for 10 homers, but it wasn't quite enough for Reid's crew. Perhaps the lack of a closer was the difference. Of course, having no closer at all meant that The Misfits STILL outperformed the commissioners at that position in Week 18, so ...