FBLG 2017 Season Wrapup

Cutch's rebirth this season helped lead Ray to the title.

Congratulations to Ray for capturing the clean 2017 sweep, winning the points title and the playoff championship as well. Makes up for the fact that the Pirates are now scheduled to be bad for the next decade or so. Sorry about that brief tease, Ray. Call it the curse of Jordy Mercer.

We hope you'll all be back next year! Please alert us if that is not going to be the case.

2018 Draft Order

1. Reid
2. Bill
3. Rick
4. Tim
5. Rich/Brian
6. Scott
7. Henry
8. Matt
9. Adam
10. Ray

Let's enjoy some stats and wrapup from this season first, then we'll talk about the 2018 season.

Clean-shaven and holding a fish. Yes, that's FBLG's leading scorer this year.

Leading hitters

1. Charlie Blackmon (BM) 582.5
2. Giancarlo Stanton (M) 548.5
3. Nolan Arenado (PYB) 535
4. Paul Goldschmidt (AL) 531
5. Joey Votto (LGM) 520
6. Marcell Ozuna (LGM) 499
7. Anthony Rizzo (FF) 479.5
8. Christian Yelich (PYB) 461
9. Daniel Murphy (FF) 441
10. Andrew McCutchen (CB) 437.5

So, it turns out this was a good year to have basically any Marlins outfielder. Anthony Rizzo outshone his teammate, top overall pick Kris Bryant, who finished just outside the top 10. 18 errors, Kris? Really? Even Euengio Suarez laughs at that. Nice bounceback years from Ozuna and McCutchen, and I guess Murphy is a legit hitter now? LOL Mets.

Top hitters by average: Blackmon, Bryce Harper and Adam Eaton averaged 3.7 points per game. Ray's clutch acquisition JD Martinez averaged 3.5.

We really hope that's chocolate.

Leading pitchers

1. Max Scherzer (R) 474.7
2. Clayton Kershaw (CB) 410
3. Zack Greinke (R) 409.3
4. Jacob deGrom (PYB) 406.3
5. Stephen Strasburg (CB) 393.3
6. Robbie Ray (PYB) 388
7. Gio Gonzalez (BM) 371
8. Carlos Martinez (AL) 366
9. Jimmy Nelson (LGM) 348.3
10. Alex Wood (R) 328.3

Lefties! Lefties everywhere. Yes, Henry had 3 of the league's top 10 starters, and he, Ray and Scott combined for the top 6 pitchers on this list. The top 5 are pretty unsurprising, but Ray, Gonzalez, Nelson and Wood came out of nowhere to dominate. Ray (7th round) and Gonzalez (11th) were at least drafted, which is not true of Nelson and Wood. Who was drafted? Such luminaries as Brandon Finnegan, Bartolo Colon, Chad Kuhl, Brett Anderson, Jered Weaver and Matt Harvey. And that is why baseball is amazing and stupid.

Top closers were Kenley Jansen (R), Corey Knebel (LGM), Raisel Iglesias (PM), Wade Davis (BM) and Felipe Rivero (PYB). Again: baseball=stupid.

So thank you all for a fantastic season. We always appreciate how engaged you all are, and everyone always seems to have fun.

You think you've got the new ESPN.com system all set up and then WHAM there's Brandon Phillips' ass.

Now, let's talk about the issues we ran into during our first season with ESPN.com.

• Injured players in lineups. We didn't realize that locking lineups on Monday really meant LOCKING lineups. That's ridiculous. Why would you design a system that leaves injured players in all week? 2018 proposed solution: Changing from a weekly lineup to daily to give owners flexibility. If you want to set your lineup Monday and forget about it, that's fine. But if you want to get injured guys out and shuffle around, that's fine too. Once a pitcher has pitched, he's locked in for the rest of the week - otherwise, we'll free up roster flexibility.
• Waiver order. No offense to Ray, but there's no way he should have gotten JD Martinez. Ditto Matt and Yu Darvish and Henry and Jose Quintana. ESPN defaults to a weird shuffling waiver order that gives no credence to your place in the standings. 2018 proposed solution: We're fairly certain we can lock in a waiver order that is based purely on point totals. If not, we'll come up with some sort of solution that helps the teams at the bottom of the standings when it comes to waivers.
• Too much crap on the waiver wire. With the loss of our manual roster ability came the loss of one of our more innovative systems - the UFA. The ability to stash guys on the bench without penalty meant that the waiver wire pickings were slim all year. 2018 proposed solution: We're thinking of going back to a 3-man bench and adding more transactions. We gave everyone 30 transactions and a 4-man bench this year; what about a 3-man bench and 40 transactions? Let's get nuts.

Those were the biggest issues we saw and complaints we got in the inbox. We also miss hitting points for pitchers and a few other quirks, but there's not a lot we can do about some of those. With these few tweaks, we hope to greatly improve the experience for next year.

What do you guys think? Any other major issues that we didn't address here? Any thoughts on our proposed solutions? Please send any feedback to the FBLG email account, and check your email for news about your winnings or about the fees you owe the commish.

With that, we bid the 2017 FBLG season adieu. We'll try to get the blog rolling again next season in some format that doesn't burn out both the commissioners. That format is still TBD. Thank you all again, and enjoy the playoffs!

Rich's reaction when Deka brings up Shane Victorino.

The Check Swing: Postseason edition

Rich is hard at work in the Commissioner's Office, carefully crafting the 2017 wrap-up blogs.

Weeks 23-24: The Check Swing

Ray (in bowler hat, with sweet 'stache) celebrates rambunctiously with Clemente's Bucs after another championship season. 

Well, gang, another season of FBLG is in the books. The transition to ESPN wasn't as smooth as we had hoped, but we'll address that as we progress through the offseason. We'll be seeking your thoughts and suggestions as we work to improve the technology-assisted tracking system. Today's blog will address the end-of-season standings and the final two weeks of games. Keep an eye on this blog for follow-up analysis from the Commissioners' Office, once Rich mops up all of the tears he shed during his team's disappointing season.

Final standings

George Costanza's hitting advice backfired for
Bodysuit Man in the championship round.

1. Clemente's Bucs (4578.8 points, playoff and points champion)
2. Bodysuit Man (4466.9 points)
3. Lawyers Guns and Money (4417.2 points)
4. The Rookies (4272.5 points)
5. Pitch! You Blockhead (4228.4 points)
6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (4184.9 points)
7. Arbitration Losers (4100.3 points)
8. Fresh Fish (4028.8 points)
9. Project Mayhem (3939.3 points)
10. The Misfits (3894.7 points)

Championship battle

Bodysuit Man and Clemente's Bucs were FLBG's top teams throughout the season, and we anticipated this being a dogfight till the end. Instead, it was a real dog. CB jumped out to a huge lead early, and BM never closed the gap. The addition of J.D. Martinez (55) proved to be the difference for CB in the playoffs, and the title round was no different. The Bucs outhomered Costanza 22-10 and collected 60 RBIs; BM had only 26. Dee Gordon (42), Rhys Hoskins (41.5) and Justin Bour (31.5) piled up the points as the CB offense fired on all cylinders. Having Clayton Kershaw (39) and Stephen Strasburg (26) healthy made a big difference, too. For BM, Zack Davies (5) picked the wrong time to be terrible and the hitting just wasn't potent enough. There were plenty of walks (40) and singles (46), but those aren't game-changers.

The rest

If you compare the points standings before and after the FBLG playoffs, you'll notice that only the top two teams changed positions. Does that mean the postseason was meaningless for the rest of us? Yeah, probably.

It's Rich's favorite
Domer, A.J. Pollock.

LGM defeated the Fresh Fish to claim third place in the playoffs, with A.J. Pollock (47.5) actually playing like the stud he was two years ago. Predictably, Marcell Ozuna (38) and Joey Votto (30) were awesome. Matt Harvey (-2.7) somehow found his way onto the roster long enough to make a mess. Yu Darvish (29.3) didn't allow a run in 12.1 innings, finally pitching like the guy he's paid to be. For the Fish, Travis d'Arnaud (22) homered four times but scored only five runs (LOL, Mets). Anthony Rizzo (37) was the leading scorer, and Thurston High School legend Dan Straily (31) was the top pitcher.

Arbitration Losers topped a sluggish PYB thanks to the efforts of Paul Goldschmidt (40.5), Ryan Braun (38.5), Jose Reyes (37.5) and D.J. LeMahieu (32). Julio Teheran (36) pitched well but picked up only one win because the Braves are lame. PYB's pitchers didn't pitch much or particularly well, scoring only 81.3 points across the two weeks. Much respect to Robbie Ray (26.3) and Jacob deGrom (30), though, for fanning 34 batters in 24.1 innings. Brandon Phillips (30.5) was PYB's top batter, which usually isn't a good sign.

Dud of the Week(s) A.J. Ramos looks for the nearest exit
in the New York Mets' locker room.

Quirkin' For a Livin' managed to knock off The Rookies, and here's the shocking part: The commissioners' patchwork pitching staff outperformed the Rookies' arms. Of course, most of that was the edge in the closer battle, with Brad Hand (22.3) being good and A.J. Ramos (0) being a Met. Jon Gray (50) was phenomenal, and Cody Bellinger (46.5) heated back up. Oh, there you are, Trea Turner (34). For The Rookies, Jose Quintana (51.7) and Max Scherzer (40) carried the load. Domingo Santana (44) looked great at the plate to lead the offense. Unfortunately, Jose Pirela (-1) did nothing but get caught stealing and Eduardo Nunez (DNP) filled the traditional Martin Prado role.

Project Mayhem and The Misfits were playing for ... what, pride, maybe? Or because they had to? Regardless, these guys squared off for the sixth consecutive week, and the final matchup had a score of 293.3-292.2, with PM coming out ahead. Kris Bryant (50.5), the pride of Las Vegas, did a little bit of everything. Ryan Zimmerman (27.5) reached the 30-homer/100-RBI plateau just to piss off Rich. Aaron Nola (40) and Rich Hill (35) combined to go 4-0. For The Misfits, Giancarlo Stanton (39.5) continued to blast baseballs to the stratosphere. The pitching wasn't anything to get excited about, though; the staff went 3-4 and Madison Bumgarner (24.7) was the low-output leading scorer.

Weeks 21-22: The Check Swing

Can anybody get this guy out? We know the Dodgers certainly can't. 

Championship matchup

1 Bodysuit Man v. 2 Clemente's Bucs. That's right, gang. After all that, our top 2 regular-season teams will duel for the playoff title. I guess that makes FBLG more like the NBA than MLB.

In review

Bodysuit Man 331.7, Fresh Fish 319.8: The offense wasn't great for T-Bone and the Fightin' Van Buren Boys, but it didn't have to be. Adam's pitching staff was significantly better than Rick's in this matchup, and that's why BM advanced to the title round. Zach Davies (36.7) leads the majors in wins, and teammate Chase Anderson (35.3) is pitching significantly better than he ever has. As usual, Charlie Blackmon (45.5) led the offense, and Wil Myers (44.5) emerged from his slumber to make a difference when BM needed him to. Howie Kendrick (33) hasn't hit like this in years. For the Fish, the pitching staff stunk up the joint to the tune of 34 earned runs in 49.1 innings. Edwin Jackson (18) was Rick's top hurler, which sets up a too-easy barf joke. The offense was quite impressive, though. Anthony Rizzo (45.5), Daniel Murphy (36.5), Asdrubal Cabrera (36.5) and Anthony Rendon (35.5) performed admirably.

As good as Stephen Strasburg was, Robbie Ray
was even better. 

Clemente's Bucs 383.8, LGM 335.8: The deal for J.D. Martinez appears to be the best midseason move in the majors, and the same is true in FBLG. The outfielder has carried the Clemente offense since coming to the NL, and he helped bury LGM in this matchup. Martinez (58) homered 8 times and drove in 16 runs. Still, he wasn't even the best player on Ray's team. Stephen Strasburg (64) appears to be fine after returning from injury; in the past 2 weeks, he went 3-0 with 26 strikeouts in 23 scoreless innings. CB also got big contributions from Rhys Hoskins (42), Dee Gordon (37) and Trevor Story (33.5). LGM actually outpitched the Bucs but couldn't keep up on the offensive side. Alex Avila (12), Kolten Wong (11) were disappointments, but even average weeks from those guys wouldn't have been enough. Before his shoulder exploded, Jimmy Nelson (40) was flat-out awesome, going 2-0 with 18 Ks in 12 scoreless innings.

Arbitration Losers 376.2, Quirkin' For a Livin' 351.5: The Losers outperformed the commissioners on both sides of the ball, so it's no surprise Tim's club came away with the W. The AL roster is a "who's who" of guys who will make Rich furious: D.J. LeMahieu (38.5) paced the offense, and he even ripped 6 extra-base hits! The duct tape in Michael Wacha's (46) shoulder held up long enough for him to go 3-0, and Carlos Martinez (42.7) did plenty of damage as well. Even Tim's Giants got in on the act, with Buster Posey (28.5) and Brandon Crawford (32.5) producing. For Huey Lewis and the Snooze, Scooter Gennett (46) and Nick Markakis (36.5) again were the top hitters. The pitching was underwhelming — as it has been all year — as only Zack Godley (43) and Brad Hand (29.3) did anything of note.

Our choice for Dud of the Week(s)
was a no-brainer. 

PYB 386.3, The Rookies 368: We've run out of things to say about Robbie Ray. Last year, his strikeouts went through the roof, but he was still allowing a fair amount of hits. Not this year. In this matchup for PYB, Ray (68.3) went 3-0 with 36 whiffs and 3 runs allowed in 20.1 innings. That's absurd. Jeff Samardzija (36.7) and Chad Kuhl (31) also were great, so we just don't know what to believe anymore. Christian Yelich (47.5) continues to amaze, and Nolan Arenado (37.5) was his usual self. Rich favorites Zack Cozart (36.5) and Denard Span (32) also excelled. For the Rooks, Ender Inciarte (49.5) collected 23 hits, including 19 singles. On the mound, it was all about Max Scherzer (41), Jose Quintana (29) and Zack Greinke (28). But with Ray looking like Sandy Koufax, it wasn't enough.

Project Mayhem: 339.7, The Misfits 301: Carlos Gonzalez (43) finally earned his money for PM and was Bill's top batter. Ryan Zimmerman (37) was quite studly as well, and Randal Grichuk (27) homered 4 times. Aaron Nola (31.3) was the top pitcher for PM, which also got strong weeks from Jose Urena (25.3), R.A. Dickey (24.3) and Raisel Iglesias (23). Only Rich Hill (13.7) struggled, going 0-3 for the Bad News Dodgers. The Misfits could have used better performances from Madison Bumgarner (3) and Hyun-Jin Ryu (9). You certainly can't fault Nick Williams (49), who drove in 15 runs for the Phillies. Giancarlo Stanton (30.5) homered 4 times but drove in only 5 runs.

Week 20: The Check Swing

Rhys Hoskins? Nice try, Phillies. We all know that's just a repackaged Darin Ruf. 

Well, our friends at ESPN are making this far more difficult than it needs to be. Apparently, teams' point totals don't include any points earned during the playoffs. Alrighty then. We'll take a different approach to breaking down the first week of the FBLG postseason. 

Second-round matchups

Winners: 1 Bodysuit Man v. 5 Fresh Fish

Winners: 2 Clemente's Bucs v. 3 Lawyers Guns and Money

Losers: 7 Quirkin' For a Livin' v. 8 Arbitration Losers 

Losers: 4 The Rookies v. 6 Pitch! You Blockhead

Consolation: Project Mayhem v. The Misfits

In review

Is that your orthopedic back pillow? 

1 Bodysuit Man v. 8 Arbitration Losers: Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Mantle... Costanza? Bodysuit Man came into the playoffs as FBLG's top team and certainly proved it in an opening-round win against AL. Adam's team put up 408.3 points, with Charlie Blackmon (51) and Gio Gonzalez (46.3) leading the way. Gerrit Cole (37.3) is looking ace-worthy again, and there were unexpected outbursts from Howie Kendrick (38.5) and Freddy Galvis (39). For the Losers, Jay Bruce (47) and Paul Goldschmidt (43) did some mashing at the plate. Michael Wacha (-0.7) was pretty lousy, and the Milwaukee duo of Ryan Braun (9) and Hernan Perez (8.5) was worth less than a couple of leftover bratwurst.  

2 Clemente's Bucs v. 7 Quirkin' For a Livin': The commissioners hung with the 21ers for a week, but the second week showed why the Bucs are a serious threat to go the distance. Rhys Hoskins (36.5) is apparently the greatest young slugger in baseball history, and Eugenio Suarez (53.5) absolutely went off. Starling Marte (45) ripped 18 hits, including 15 singles. All told, the Bucs hit 24 homers and drove in 68 runs. The only blight was Dud of the Week(s) Mike Leake (-7.7), who went 0-2, allowed 14 runs in 7 ugly innings and probably stole some T-shirts. For the Quirkers, Jon Gray (40.7) was phenomenal, but the rest of the pitching staff went 0-5. Greg Holland (-1.3) puked up a hairball, and Cody Bellinger (7) got hurt. When the season started, the commissioners certainly didn't count on Scooter Gennett (40) and Nick Markakis (39.5) being their top offensive performers. 

3 Lawyers Guns and Money v. 6 Pitch! You Blockhead: LGM didn't reach the 400-point mark, but it was still an impressive performance. Marcell Ozuna (52.5) had an awesome stretch and wasn't even close to being the best Miami hitter. Ozzie Albies (42.5) made contributions across the board, and Joey Votto (38) walked about a thousand times. Luis Castillo (32) fanned 24 batters and allowed only 3 earned runs in 17 innings and still went 0-2 because the Reds stink. Adam Conley (34.7) gave up a bunch of runs but got loads of run support, and Corey Knebel (35.3) was dominant in 6.1 innings. PYB, meanwhile, was good but not good enough. Christian Yelich (48) and Nolan Arenado (40) did their usual stuff, and Mark Reynolds (38.5) and Brandon Phillips (37.5) stepped up their games. The tag-team duo of Hunter Renfroe (4.5) and Denard Span (2.5) was a real letdown, though. 

Joe Maddon and Anthony Rizzo argue with an umpire
who incorrectly thought Giancarlo Stanton had the best
2-week stretch for a FBLG player. 

4 The Rookies v. 5 Fresh Fish: The only upset of the first round wasn't much of a surprise. Henry's club rode the arms of Jon Lester, Max Scherzer, Zack Greinke and Alex Wood all season long — but Scherzer (DNP), Lester (-5) and Wood (20) got hurt at the wrong time for the Rookies. Greinke (35.3) did what he could, but it wasn't enough. Freddie Freeman (36.5) and Curtis Granderson (35) led the offense, but this team needed its aces to advance. For the Fish, Anthony Rizzo (68.5) homered 4 times and drove in 21 runs. The rest of the offense combined for only 3 homers, which shows how this offense got it done in other ways. Mr. Consistency Patrick Corbin (58.7) was masterful in going 3-0; he struck out 21 and allowed 1 earned run in 23.2 innings.  

Project Mayhem v. The Misfits: Are the Misfits FBLG's best team? They've been playing like it for a while recently. Reid's club put up 404 points over the 2-week stretch thanks to an explosive offense. Giancarlo Stanton (68) homered 8 more times and drove in 18. Josh Bell (47), Javier Baez (42), Josh Harrison (40) and Gerardo Parra (40) were major forces, as well. For the struggling PM, there wasn't much to get excited about. Rich Hill (27) took a no-hitter into the 10th innings but got no run support and ended up taking the loss. Michael Conforto (18) wasn't doing much before dislocating his shoulder swinging and missing in what might be the most Mets injury ever. Cesar Hernandez (33.5) was the team's leading scorer, which probably tells you everything you need to know. 

Week 19: The Check Swing

Sorry, FBLG gang. There will be no weekly wrap-up this week. Not because we didn't feel like doing one, not because we don't care, not because we think you aren't interested in reading one. No, it's because our friends at ESPN are treating our playoffs in 2-week chunks, so there won't be any team-score updates until the end of the second week. And there are no weekly totals for the player points for us to analyze. Yes, it's both frustrating and stupid. Please send your hate mail to Bristol, Conn.

Week 18: The Check Swing

Forget about the Nationals. The real tragedy is LGM losing Bryce Harper just as the FBLG playoffs begin. 

The FBLG regular season has ended, and there's been a change at the top of the rankings. Bodysuit Man has vaulted past Clemente's Bucs and claimed the top spot in the playoffs with a record of 13-5. That allows BM to match up with Arbitration Losers, who are on a 4-game losing streak, rather than Quirkin' For a Livin', which has won 4 in a row. 

"Look who's eating at 6 o'clock ...
and updating the blog on Monday for a change." 

Here are the playoff matchups for Week 19:

1 Bodysuit Man v. 8 Arbitration Losers

2 Clemente's Bucs v. 7 Quirkin' For a Livin'

3 Lawyers Guns and Money v. 6 Pitch! You Blockhead

4 The Rookies v. 5 Fresh Fish

Consolation: Project Mayhem v. The Misfits

1. Bodysuit Man (3418.2 points, 13-5, last week 2): The Fightin' Marine Biologists storm into the postseason with a 208.7-point performance and a drubbing of LGM. Matt Carpenter (25.5) paced the offense, which provided an impressive 155 points as every player reached double figures. Gio Gonzalez (17), Gerrit Cole (17) and John Lackey (14.3) each picked up a win, and only Zach Davies (-0.3) laid an egg. 

2. Clemente’s Bucs (3406.5 points, 12-6, last week, 1): A terrible week for the Sons of LaValliere dropped Ray's team to the No. 2 spot in the rankings. Johan Camargo (0) injured his leg running onto the field — no joke — but he wasn't the only Dud on the roster. J.T. Realmuto (2.5) didn't do much of anything, and Matt Adams (4) reverted to his St. Louis form. Ivan Nova (2.3) was pretty bad, and Brent Suter (6) was unimpressive in a pair of starts. Eugenio Suarez (24.5) and Kenley Jansen (21) shined, though.

3. Lawyers Guns and Money (3346 points, 12-6, last week 3): Bryce Harper (17) shredded his knee, Willson Contreras (2.5) got hurt, Jimmy Nelson (-4.3) was terrible, Trevor Story (2) didn't do a damn thing, and A.J. Pollock (9) and Marcell Ozuna (9.5) cooled off. Not everything went wrong, though. Joey Votto (32) walked 12 times — TWELVE! He also homered twice and scored 10 runs. 

Be honest: You have no idea if this is actually
Jose Pirela, do you? 

4. The Rookies (3306 points, 10-8, last week 4): Henry's top scorer in a win against the Losers was not Max Scherzer (29), Freddie Freeman (19), Alex Wood (13), Jon Lester (9) or Zack Greinke (8.7). No, it was everyone's favorite anonymous Padre, Jose Pirela (32). Pirela's 10 hits included 3 homers and 3 doubles, and he walked 6 times as well. Meanwhile, Scherzer almost reached 30 points without even picking up a win. He struck out 19 in 14 innings and allowed 4 runs. 

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (3224.8 points, 8-10, last week 5): The Blockheads got some big performances to knock off the Fish. All-star shortstop Zack Cozart (28.5) homered 4 times, and Jacob deGrom (20.7) fanned 9 in a 6.2-inning win. Also, Kenta Maeda (25.3) was strong in a pair of outings. Oddly, Scott's Colorado hitters weren't very good: Nolan Arenado (7.5), Jonathan Lucroy (7) and Mark Reynolds (5) were disappointments.  

6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (3149.3 points, 8-10, last week 6): It's a good thing for the commissioners that the offense stepped up with 10 homers and 11 doubles because the pitching staff fell into an open manhole, got trapped in the sewer and drowned. Yes, these guys beat Clemente's Bucs in a week in which their pitchers went 0-3 with a blown save and 18 runs allowed in 26.1 innings. Well done, Mike Foltynewicz (-5.3) and Greg Holland (-6.3). 

7. Arbitration Losers (3053.5 points, 8-10, last week 8): Tim's team was a 2-man operation in Week 18, and 2 men aren't quite enough to win at baseball. Carlos Martinez (33) pitched like a stud while going 2-0, and Ryan Braun (31.5) stayed healthy long enough to rack up 15 hits. Paul Goldschmidt (18.5) blasted 3 homers — yet scored only 4 runs and drove in no one but himself. I blame Daniel Descalso and Jeff Mathis. Also, Martin Prado (Witness Protection Program) is nowhere to be found. 

Greg Holland pitched once and posted a score of
-6.3. That makes him a lock for Dud of the Week.

8. Fresh Fish (3048.2 points, 9-9, last week 7): Rick's hitters put up 73 points, and his pitchers posted 69.3. That's a terrible ratio and a recipe for a loss. Jake Arrieta (30.3) looked like his Cy Young-winning self, and Patrick Corbin (19.7) looked like, well, someone who pitches better than Patrick Corbin. On the offensive side, only Billy Hamilton (17.5) scored more than 10 points. Where are you hiding, Anthony Rizzo, Anthony Rendon, Hunter Pence and Daniel Murphy? 

9. Project Mayhem (3015.3 points, 6-12, last week 9): It figures that the two FBLG teams that were eliminated from playoff contention weeks ago combined to produce the most entertaining matchup of the week. In a back-and-forth slugfest, PM ended The Misfits' hot streak by winning 205.3-201.8. For Fight Club, Ryan Zimmerman (31) must have gotten tired of this blogger ripping him for being a first-half wonder. Zim hit 3 homers. Michael Conforto (24) managed only 4 hits, but all of them left the yard. Randal Grichuk (29) and Kris Bryant (28.5) also had big weeks for Project Mayhem. 

10. The Misfits (2897.5 points, 4-14, last week 10): Giancarlo Stanton (35.5) and Justin Turner (26.5) combined for 10 homers, but it wasn't quite enough for Reid's crew. Perhaps the lack of a closer was the difference. Of course, having no closer at all meant that The Misfits STILL outperformed the commissioners at that position in Week 18, so ...

Week 17: The Check Swing

First Kyle Schwarber, now Willson Contreras. The Cubs have clearly cornered the market on catchers who can also
kind of play the outfield but can't really catch no matter which position they're playing. 

For the second consecutive week, our rankings remain exactly the same. That's pretty boring, guys. And again, we apologize for the tardiness of The Check Swing. We believe a disgruntled former employee might have slipped this blogger a mickey last night, which led to an unusually early bedtime. 

1. Clemente’s Bucs (3273.7 points, 12-5, last week, 1): The losses of Clayton Kershaw and Stephen Strasburg proved costly for Ray in Week 17, as Clemente's Bucs played more like Kevin Young's Bucs. Talk about dark times. Ray's team scored 139.8 points and lost to Bodysuit Man, which is closing the gap between first and second place. Kenley Jansen (11) pitched only 2 innings and still was CB's top-scoring pitcher. Starling Marte (19.5) had a nice week, which means he's probably back on the juice. Matt Adams (2) played more like the Fatt Adams we remember from St. Louis. 

2. Bodysuit Man (3209.5 points, 12-5, last week 2): The top 2 teams in FBLG squared off in Week 17, and the result was far from epic. The pitching staffs combined to go 1-5, and ace relievers Wade Davis (BM) and Jansen (CB) notched only 1 save apiece. The win went to Gio Gonzalez (18), who is pitching like it's 2012 again. As usual, Chris Taylor (30.5) and Charlie Blackmon (26.5) went nuts; the rest of the BM lineup did nothing noteworthy. Although Matt Carpenter walking 7 times and getting only 1 hit — a triple — is pretty funny. 

Let's see. Tim needs a third baseman. And look
who's back in the National League! It's a match
made in 7-Eleven. 

3. Lawyers Guns and Money (3192.3 points, 12-5, last week 3): The Fightin' Zevons are now tied with CB atop the Mays Division, which has 4 teams with winning records. Try to keep up, Koufax Division. Anyway, Willson Contreras (33.5) was a beast for LGM in a win against PYB. The catcher had 10 hits, including 5 homers, and drove in 13 runs. Of course, he also made an error, which is standard fare for ContrEras. Trevor Story (3.5) kinda stunk, but Joey Votto (26.5) and Corey Knebel (18) made up for it. 

4. The Rookies (3116 points, 9-8, last week 4): Henry's team got knocked around by the red-hot Misfits, and there weren't a lot of positives. The vaunted pitching staff went 1-0, and only 2 players scored more than 13.5 points. Max Scherzer (1) left his start early, and Jose Pirela (2) made a pair of errors to shrink his already-low score. Chris Owings (DL) didn't even play. And Jon Lester (20.7) struck out a ton of guys but allowed 6 runs in 10.2 innings in a couple of no-decisions. 

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (3057.7 points, 7-10, last week 5): Jeff Samardzija (26.3) picked up 2 wins to pace the Blockheads, who got a goose egg from catcher/infielder/minor leaguer Tony Wolters. Nolan Arenado (24) was the offensive leader despite having one of his worst weeks of the season. Jonathan Villar (1) continues to be one of the worst players in the National League. Jaime Garcia (0.7) of the Braves — whoops, now he's a Twin — oh, wait, now he's a Yankee — posted a score equal to the average speed of his fastball in MPH. 

6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (2992 points, 7-10, last week 6): Huey's much-maligned pitching staff stepped up in a big way, collecting 73.3 points as every pitcher picked up a win. The offense was much more hit-and-miss, though. Cody Bellinger (22.5) homered 4 times, and Nick Markakis (19.5) keeps scoring points without doing anything particularly well. Brandon Drury (3) homered, which somehow earned him even more time on the bench because wet-noodle-swinging Daniel Descalso — whose batting average has dropped 20 points in the past 2 weeks — is swinging a hotter bat, according to manager and Mensa member Torey Lovullo. 

7. Fresh Fish (2905.8 points, 9-8, last week 7): Let's all marvel at Rick's team beating AL with a pitching staff that went 0-5. Patrick Corbin (6) posted a decent number considering that he allowed 10 earned runs in 9 innings and went 0-2. The offense was led by those famous home-run hitters: Hunter Pence (22.5), Daniel Murphy (20.5) and Anthony Rizzo (18.5) hit 2 apiece, and Billy Hamilton (17) somehow hit 1 out. 

The man on the left (.233/.341/.392) has taken the job
of the man on the right (.273/.326/.439), and the
commissioners definitely aren't bitter about it at all. 

8. Arbitration Losers (2886.5 points, 8-9, last week 8): The AL pitching staff managed to throw only 22.1 innings, which usually leads to a loss. It sure did for Tim in Week 17. Meanwhile, it's the same old story for Tim's offense: Paul Goldschmidt (31.5) very good; Martin Prado (DL) very lame. The Losers lost to the Fish by 5.2 points, so pretty much any replacement-level third baseman could have pushed AL over the top. Or even a Giants-level third baseman. Speaking of which, there's a bloated corpse in a 6XL San Fran jersey on the waiver wire... 

9. Project Mayhem (2810 points, 5-12, last week 9): Bill's club came oh-so-close to ending its lengthy losing streak but was unable to top the commissioners. PM got some impressive pitching — but LOL at the crummy Phillies being unable to get a win for Aaron Nola (16), who went 0-1 despite allowing 4 earned runs in 13 innings. Ryan Zimmerman (6) no longer looks like the Comeback Player of the Millennium, and Jedd Gyorko (4) got 3 hits, none of which went for extra bases. Hey, Kris Bryant (12)! Weren't you supposed to be the top pick in the draft? 

10. The Misfits (2695.7 points, 4-13, last week 10): For the third consecutive week, Reid's team posted the most points in FBLG. That's a pretty remarkable feat for a club that opened the year 0-12. Giancarlo Stanton (23.5) blasted 3 more homers and was The Misfits' leading scorer. Every position player reached double digits in points, and Hyun-Jin Ryu (20) had a dominant outing to lead the pitching staff. Look out, Project Mayhem! 

Week 16: The Check Swing

The Miami outfield scored more than 100 points in Week 16. 

The commissioner's office apologizes (once again) for the lateness of this week's roundup. We spent all of our free time lately preparing a speech for Bud Selig's Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Rich and I couldn't decide which version we liked better, so in the end we just declared it a tie. And with that...

If we understand ESPN's playoff setup — and how could you not grasp every nuance of ESPN's league setup? — we think we might possibly maybe know which teams are making the FBLG playoffs. With 2 weeks left in the regular season, The Misfits are 3 games out of 4th place in the Koufax Division and Project Mayhem is 3 games out of 4th place in the Mays Division. That means our playoff teams are locked in, right?

1. Clemente’s Bucs (3133.8 points, 12-4, last week, 1): You know how the kids like to say something is stupid, but they mean it's good? Yeah, we don't get it either. Anyway, last week Ray got zeroes from the injured Justin Bour and Stephen Strasburg, plus a total of minus-4 from Pirates starters Ivan Nova (4) and Jameson Taillon (-8). Yet the Bucs still posted 190 points in a win, in part because Andrew McCutchen (28.5) and J.D. Martinez (32) hit 5 homers each. That's just stupid. 

2. Bodysuit Man (3057.3 points, 11-5, last week 2): Adam's team had a week that math nerds would love: Every player's score was a whole number except for the 17.5 posted by Chris Taylor. Yeah, that's a dorky thing to point out, but we're running out of things to say about these guys when they keep winning. Oh, it's nice to see Gerrit Cole (32) finally pitching like the ace he's supposed to be. 

Our Dud of the Week can drown his sorrows
with a beverage of the same name.

3. Lawyers Guns and Money (3026.3 points, 11-5, last week 3): That LGM offense continues to strike fear in the hearts of opponents. Marcell Ozuna (34) struck again, and every other hitter reached double figures. We're still not sure about the rotation, which was led by Luis Castillo (19), who we could have sworn was a second baseman for the Marlins back in the day. Trevor Cahill (1) pitched like you would expect a chubby doofus to pitch. 

4. The Rookies (2995.2 points, 9-7, last week 4): As usual, Henry's pitching was great. The hitting wasn't up to par, though — and the Rooks lost a close one to Quirk. Zack Greinke (37) won both of his starts; Alex Wood (13), Jon Lester (14) and Max Scherzer (19) also won their starts. The blame falls on the 4 position players who failed to reach double digits, plus the unusually sluggish Freddie Freeman (11). 

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (2913 points, 7-9, last week 5): Jacob deGrom had a great week, posting 30 points in a pair of outings. But the star of the show was Christian Yelich (37.5), who homered 3 times, doubled 5 times, drove in 8 and scored 9 times. That would be a pretty good week for the Giants as a team. Unfortunately for Scott, the rest of the Blockheads hit like ... well, the Giants. 

6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (2815.2 points, 6-10, last week 6): Weird stat of the week: Nick Markakis (12) singled 5 times, doubled twice, walked 4 times ... and scored zero runs. Nice work, Braves. Beyond that, the pitching (84) was good enough to keep up with the mighty staff of The Rookies, and the uneven offense (100.5) did just enough to push the commissioners to the win. Kudos to Brandon Drury, who inexplicably has been benched to make room for Daniel Descalso and Ketel Marte. 

7. Fresh Fish (2740.8 points, 8-8, last week 7): Let's see, there has to be something good to say about the Fish in Week 16. Hmm. Fernando Rodney (4) made the most of his 1 appearance, striking out the side. Dan Straily (2) had just as many points as losses. Adam Wainwright (DL) scored almost as many points as Straily. Asdrubal Cabrera (20) made only 1 error, which beat the over/under by 6.5. 

After seeing FBLG's best team pick up J.D. Martinez,
how do you feel about ESPN's waiver rules? 

8. Arbitration Losers (2726.7 points, 8-8, last week 8): Martin Prado (DL) continues to post zeroes for Tim, and you have to wonder whether Prado would have made the difference in a loss to LGM. Ha ha, just kidding! AL lost by about 25 points, and we don't think Prado has that in him anymore. Elsewhere, Julio Teheran (-1.3) had a horrible outing and Sam Dyson (5) blew a save. 

9. Project Mayhem (2641.5 points, 5-11, last week 9): Bill had the No. 1 pick in this year's draft, but he might to have to go all-out 1998 Marlins fire sale to get the top pick in 2018. PM was once 5-5 and in the thick of things, but this club has now lost 6 in a row. But hey, at least Aaron Nola (21) and Taijuan Walker (20.7) were pretty good last week in a loss to Bodysuit Man.

10. The Misfits (2498.5 points, 3-13, last week 10): Reid's team is finally putting it all together, but it's probably too late to matter. For the second consecutive week, The Misfits cracked 200 points and are FBLG's top-scoring club. Giancarlo Stanton (33) went nuts, and 3 pitchers had a great week: Madison Bumgarner (27), Hyun-Jin Ryu (22) and German Marquez (20). 

Week 15: The Check Swing

Uh-oh.

1. Clemente’s Bucs (2943.8 points, 11-4, last week, 1): The Sons of Stargell rolled to another win, putting up 209.2 points against the Arbitration Losers. The big worry for Ray is that Clayton Kershaw could miss 6 weeks with back pain, and Stephen Strasburg's status is unknown after the righty exited his last start with forearm stiffness. 

2. Bodysuit Man (2872.8 points, 10-5, last week 3): We here at the FBLG blog are getting tired of the same guys putting up huge numbers for T-Bone/Koko/Vandelay week after week. Blah blah Blackmon (my favorite nursery rhyme), something something Chris Taylor, yakety yak Wil Myers. Those guys combined for 9 homers, 15 RBIs and 25 runs in a win against The Rookies. 

Alex Wood is our Dud of the Week
because of this play alone. 

3. Lawyers Guns and Money (2831.5 points, 10-5, last week 2): What's that smell? Oh, it's just the LGM pitching staff rotting in the garbage can. Like a pumpkin in late November, the clock ran out for Corey Knebel (5), Luis Castillo (6), Jimmy Nelson (3) and Trevor Cahill (-0.3). No wonder the London Werewolves took the "L" against The Misfits. 

4. The Rookies (2816.3 points, 9-6, last week 4): Ian Happ (5) and Chris Owings (2) stunk up the joint as Henry's club got whacked by Bodysuit Man. But the big disappointment for the Rookies came from the pitching staff, where Zack Greinke (5) was mediocre and Alex Wood (-1.3) got knocked around for the first time this season. Jon Lester (38) was amazing in 2 starts, though. 

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (2748.8 points, 7-8, last week 5): Charlie Brown slipped past Project Mayhem thanks to the efforts of 3 offensive studs. Nolan Arenado (38.5) homered 4 times, drove in a whopping 13 runs and scored 9 times. Mark Reynolds (24) homered thrice himself, and Zack Cozart (24) — the NL's starting all-star shortstop, in case Rich forgot — added 2 of his own. 

6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (2630.7 points, 5-10, last week 6): We'd love to build a chart of the Fightin' Hueys' scores for Week 15. Other than outlier David Peralta (25), everyone was pretty average. The low scorer was Brandon Drury (9), and the second-leading scorer was Corey Seager (18). Way to meet expectations and not go beyond that, guys. 

7. Fresh Fish (2595.2 points, 8-7, last week 7): Simply put, Rick's bats fell asleep in a loss to QFL. Billy Hamilton was the Fish's leading scorer, with 21 points, followed by Adam Wainwright (20.3) and Matt Kemp (14). That's a pretty steep drop-off. Anthony Rendon, Anthony Rizzo and Daniel Murphy combined for only 34 points, so expect Coach Rick to overturn some tables in the locker room. 

German Marquez was THIS close to beating out
Nolan Arenado as the Rockies' top scorer in Week 15.

8. Arbitration Losers (2557 points, 8-7, last week 8): Tim's pitching was pretty good in the loss to CB, but the offense was nothing to write home about. Martin Prado pulled a Ryan Braun, posting a 0 after getting hurt and hitting the DL. Braun, meanwhile, led the bats with 19.5 points and hit one of the Losers' 2 homers for the week. Sam Dyson (15) was good for a change, too. 

9. Project Mayhem (2479.3 points, 5-10, last week 9): Project Mayhem is living up to its name after losing its 5th in a row. It wasn't a bad week, though; Bill's team still scored 180.2 points in a loss to PYB. Michael Conforto (32.5) homered 4 times for the lolMets, and the pitching staff was impressive: PM got 70.7 points from only 4 guys, as Taijuan Walker didn't pitch because he was giving birth or something. 

10. The Misfits (2292.5 points, 2-13, last week 10): Wow! Look at all those big numbers posted by Reid's guys, who just happened to record a league-high 221.8 points against LGM. German Marquez (36.7), Tommy Pham (27), Josh Harrison (25.5), Josh Bell (23.5), Giancarlo Stanton (22.5) and Gerardo Parra (20) got the job done — and Rich's favorite lefty, Madison Bumgarner (4.3), is back! 

Week 15: Thursday's Roundup

I miss the days where I could have made a "Hey, Eugenio, where did your last throw go?" joke.
Why did he have to go and get good at defense?

Studs: Eugenio Suarez (CB) homered twice and walked. Jameson Taillon (CB) allowed 2 runs and struck out 8 in a 5.1-inning win.

Duds: None.

Week 15: Wednesday's Roundup

It's hard to believe a pitching staff as good as San Diego's could give up so many homers to Nolan Arenado.

Studs: Nolan Arenado (PYB) had a good week all in a day, hitting 3 homers, 2 singles and driving in 7. Domingo Santana (R) was a triple shy of the cycle and scored twice. Chris Taylor (BM) was a triple shy of the cycle, drove in 2 and scored 3 runs. Freddy Galvis (BM) doubled twice, singled, walked and scored 3 runs. Charlie Blackmon (BM) homered, singled twice, drove in 2 and scored 3 runs. Gerrit Cole (BM) struck out 10 and allowed 1 run in a 7-inning no-decision. Corey Seager (Q) homered, singled twice, scored 2 runs and drove in 3. David Peralta (Q) was a triple shy of the cycle and drove in 2. Javier Baez (M) homered, doubled and drove in 3.

Duds: Matt Wieters (PM) and Freddie Freeman (R) went 0-fer with an error. Gedd Jyorko (PM) singled and erred. (Admit it, Gedd Jyorko is a great name.) Corey Knebel (LGM) blew a save by allowing 1 run in 1 inning.

Week 15: Tuesday's Roundup

Travis Shaw can't believe more people aren't talking about how great he's been this year.

Studs: Clayton Kershaw (CB) struck out 7 in 7 shutout innings to earn the win. Michael Wacha (AL) struck out 8 in a 3-hit shutout of the LOLMets. Zack Cozart (PYB) was a triple shy of the cycle and scored twice. Matt Carpenter (BM) had 2 doubles, 2 singles, a run and an RBI. Travis Shaw (LGM) homered, singled twice and drove in 3. Bryce Harper (LGM) homered, tripled, singled twice and scored twice. Gerardo Parra (M) had a double, 2 singles, 2 walks, 3 runs and an RBI.

Duds: Scott Schebler (CB) was caught stealing. Yasmani Grandal (Q) was 0-fer with an error.

Week 15: Monday's Roundup

Tommy Pham and the Phamily.

Studs: Stephen Strasburg (CB) struck out 11 and allowed 1 run in a 7-inning win. Jon Lester (R) struck out 6 and allowed 1 run in a 7-inning win. German Marquez (M) allowed 3 runs and struck out 9 in a 6.2-inning win. Giancarlo Stanton (M) homered twice, walked twice and drove in 3. Tommy Pham (M) homered, singled, walked twice and drove in 3.

Duds: Dexter Fowler (Q) singled, walked and made an error. Christian Yelich (PYB) walked and was caught stealing.

Week 14: The Check Swing

Jimmy Nelson is like a snake in the grass, waiting to destroy your fantasy team's hopes. 

1. Clemente’s Bucs (2734.7 points, 10-4, last week, 1): The extra-long week was good for our leader, who put up 299.2 points against the last-place Misfits. Clayton Kershaw posted a whopping 48 points in a pair of victories, and Kenley Jansen picked up 28 points in only 6 innings of work. On the offensive side, Andrew McCutchen (36.5), Justin Bour (33) and Dee Gordon (28) did most of the damage. 

2. Lawyers Guns and Money (2664.8 points, 10-4, last week 4): Sure, Week 14 included 10 days of games rather than our usual 7, but 335.2 points is a LOT of points. It was enough to move the Fightin' Zevons from 4th to 2nd in the points race. Jimmy Nelson (46.7) fanned 23 batters in a pair of wins, Trevor Cahill (33) was mind-bogglingly effective, and even Jhoulys Chacin (23.3) was impressive. Talk about a scrap-heap rotation! At the plate, it was more of the same for LGM, with Bryce Harper (40), Marcell Ozuna (36.5) and Joey Votto (31) setting the pace. 

Here's Dud of the Week Jon Lester
in happier times, before he allowed
9 runs in 5.2 innings across a pair
of losses in Week 14. 

3. Bodysuit Man (2652.8 points, 9-5, last week 2): Costanza must have been too busy eating spicy chicken and calzones to focus on his matchup with the Fish, which he lost. Charlie Blackmon (43.5) remains the most consistent performer in FBLG; have we mentioned his name on this blog every week? Freddy Galvis (27.5) and Chris Taylor (27.5) were outstanding, too. Sean Newcomb (-0.7) allowed 11 earned runs in 7.2 innings. Happy, pappy? 

4. The Rookies (2641.2 points, 9-5, last week 3): The Scrappin' Greenhorns got some monster performances to stay in the thick of the points race. Alex Wood (37) and Max Scherzer (34.5) went 3-0 to lead the pitching staff, and Ender Inciarte (35.5), Paul DeJong (35) and Domingo Santana (34.5) combined for 16 doubles and 16 RBIs. Let's not talk about Jon Lester (-3.3), though.

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (2559.8 points, 6-8, last week 5): PYB lost to The Rookies, but you can't blame Nolan Arenado (35), Christian Yelich (33.5) or Jacob deGrom (36). Mark Reynolds (27.5) and Brandon Phillips (26) also performed well, and Robbie Ray (18) struck out 13 in a 6-inning start. If you're looking for a goat, you can choose Jeff Samardzija (9 in 2 outings), Hunter Renfroe (7) or Tony Wolters (5). 

6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (2453.3 points, 4-10, last week 6): Lance Lynn (33.5) allowed 2 runs in 18.2 innings across 3 starts, but the rest of the pitching staff was laugh-inducing. Jon Gray, Jose Urena and Nick Pivetta combined to allow 32 runs in 32.2 innings. High draft picks Corey Seager (14) and Yoenis Cespedes (12) were pretty lousy, too. But hey, at least Cody Bellinger (37.5) and Scooter Gennett (35.5) were good.  

7. Fresh Fish (2451.3 points, 8-6, last week 7): Daniel Murphy (45.5) and Anthony Rendon (41) combined to drive in 28 runs, which is absolutely ridiculous. Billy Hamilton (33.5) collected 13 hits, which, if you've ever seen HillBilly play, is even MORE ridiculous. Adam Wainwright (29.7) won his 2 starts, but Steven Matz (1.3) got knocked around in 2 losses and Fernando Rodney (-4.7) stunk up the joint in 0.1 inning.  

Billy Hamilton is pretty good for a guy who can't
see where he's going. 

8. Arbitration Losers (2377.7 points, 8-6, last week 8): The offense did the heavy lifting for AL in a win against PM. Kudos to Jay Bruce (29.5), D.J. LeMahieu (28.5), Ryan Braun (28), Brandon Crawford (24.5) and Paul Goldschmidt (24). The pitching staff was good in limited action, going 3-1 with 2 saves in 39.2 innings. 

9. Project Mayhem (2298.2 points, 5-9, last week 9): Mayhem was unable to pick up a win despite getting 43 points from Aaron Nola, who made 3 starts, and 33 points from Rich Hill. Kris Bryant (35.5) and Jedd Gyorko (21.5) paced the offense, but the rest of the bats were pretty average. We're not entirely sure what a Dinelson Lamet is, but apparently he pitches for the Padres — and posted 1 point for PM. 

10. The Misfits (2072.7 points, 1-13, last week 10): Giancarlo Stanton (41.5) homered 5 times and Justin Turner (28) went deep 4 times, but it wasn't enough to get the Misfits past Clemente's Bucs. Josh Bell (35.5) has been a nice pickup at first base, as well. Unfortunately, Joe Ross, Stephen Piscotty and Michael Taylor landed on the DL, and Misfit pitchers allowed 24 earned runs in 35 innings. 

Week 14: Sunday's Roundup

Jon Lester's disastrous start Sunday summed up the Cubs' first half.

Studs: Josh Harrison (M) homered, singled twice, walked, scored 3 runs and drove in 2. Justin Turner (M) and Freddy Galvis (BM) homered twice and drove in 3. Giancarlo Stanton (M) had 2 solo homers, a single, 2 walks and 4 runs. Clayton Kershaw (CB) struck out 13 and allowed 2 runs a in a complete game win. Aaron Altherr (BM) homered, doubled, stole a base and scored twice. Anthony Rendon (FF) doubled, singled, scored twice, walked twice, stole a base and drove in 2. Corey Knebel (LGM) struck out 3 in a 1.1-inning save.

Duds: Tyler Flowers (R) went 0-fer with an error. Jon Lester (R) gave up 10 runs - though only 4 earned - in a 0.2-inning loss. Steven Matz (FF) allowed 5 runs and struck out 1 in a 4.1-inning loss.

Week 14: Saturday's Roundup

How can you not root for a guy who absolutely destroys the Mets?

Studs: Ivan Nova (CB) struck out 6 and allowed 2 runs in a 6.2-inning win. Julio Teheran (AL) pitched 7 shutout innings with 5 strikeouts for the win. Paul DeJong (R) had a homer, 3 doubles, 2 runs and 2 RBIs. Billy Hamilton (FF) had 2 singles, a walk, a run, an RBI and 3 steals. Adam Wainwright (FF) struck out 7 and allowed 1 run in a 6.2-inning win. Cody Bellinger (Q) homered, doubled, scored twice, walked twice and drove in 2. Jhoulys Chacin (LGM) struck out 6 and allowed a run in a 6.1-inning win.

Duds: Adam Frazier (CB) went 0-fer with an error for the second straight day. Stephen Strasburg (CB) allowed 3 runs and struck out no one in a 3-inning loss. Orlando Arcia (PYB) erred. Corey Seager (Q) had a single, a walk and an error. Greg Holland (Q) allowed a run in a 1-inning loss. Corey Knebel (LGM) allowed 3 runs and blew a save in a 0.1-inning loss.

Week 14: Friday's Roundup

It was a good day for the first two picks in the FBLG draft.

Studs: Kris Bryant (PM) homered twice, tripled, singled, scored 3 runs and drove in 4, posting a 13 despite making an error. Nolan Arenado (PYB) was a triple shy of the cycle and drove in 5. Zach Greinke (R) struck out 7 in 7 shutout innings for the win. Charlie Blackmon (BM) homered, singled twice, walked and scored 3 runs. Austin Hedges (FF) homered twice and drove in 3. Dan Straily (FF) allowed a run in 8.1 innings, striking out 3 for the win. Brandon Drury (Q) had 2 doubles, 2 walks, 2 runs and an RBI.

Duds: Josh Harrison (M) and Adm Frazier (CB) went 0-fer with an error. Jim Johnson (PYB) allowed 3 earned runs and blew a save in 0.2 innings.

Week 14: Thursday's Roundup

One inning after an embarrassing play (see below), Josh Bell rocked a 2-run dinger.

Studs: Josh Bell (M) homered, doubled, drove in 3 and scored twice. Michael Wacha (AL) allowed 2 runs and struck out 9 in a 5.2-inning win. Rich Hill (PM) struck out 9 and allowed 1 run in a 7-inning no-decision. Robbie Ray (PYB) struck out 13 and allowed 1 run in a 6-inning no-decision. Domingo Santana (R) had 2 doubles, 2 singles, a walk, a steal, 3 runs and 2 RBIs. Jake Lamb (LGM) homered twice and walked.

Baseball: You never know what you're going to get pic.twitter.com/pgLcVW7ytN

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) July 7, 2017

Duds: Justin Turner (M) - newly minted all-star - celebrated with 3 walks and an error. Mike Montgomery (M) allowed 7 runs and struck out 4 in a 2.1-inning loss. Jose Peraza (PM) singled and erred.

Week 14: Wednesday's Roundup

The Home Run Derby started early for Giancarlo Stanton.

Studs: Giancarlo Stanton (M) homered twice, singled, walked and drove in 4. Alex Wood (R) struck out 10 in 7 shutout innings to earn the win, improving to 10-0. Gerrit Cole (BM) allowed 2 runs and struck out 8 in a 6-inning win. Jon Gray (Q) doesn't quite make the list for his pitching, but he did hit a 467-foot home run.

Duds: Nolan Arenado (PYB) went 0-fer with an error. I don't remember ever putting his name on this list before. Matt Carpenter (BM) walked, drove in a run and made an error.

Week 14: Tuesday's Roundup

Jimmy Nelson speaks candidly to his detractors.

Studs: Joltin' Joe Ross (M) struck out 6 and allowed 2 runs in a 6-inning win. Andrew McCutchen (CB) had 2 solo homers and a single. Scott Schebler (CB) was a triple shy of the cycle and scored twice. Clayton Kershaw (CB) struck out 11 in 7 shutout innings to earn the win. Jameson Taillon (CB) struck out 9 in 5 shutout innings for the win. Daniel Murphy had a double, 3 singles and 5 RBIs. Jose Urena (Q) struck out 7 and allowed 2 runs in a 5-inning win. Bryce Harper (LGM) had 3 hits, a walk, 3 runs and 2 RBIs. Jimmy Nelson (LGM) struck out 8 in 7 shutout innings to earn a win.

via GIPHY

Duds: Josh Harrison (M) - who is an all-star?!??! - and Austin Hedges (FF) went 0-fer with an error. Sean Newcomb (BM) allowed 7 runs and struck out 2 in a 3.1-inning loss.

Week 14: Monday's Roundup

We've had some fun with Aaron Nola (N-O-L-A NOLA) over the years, so we tip our cap to him today.

Studs: Yadier Molina (M) doubled twice, singled, scored and drove in 3. Aaron Nola (PM) struck out 8 in a 7-inning shutout win.

Duds: None.

Week 13: The Check Swing

If you thought Adam Duvall's 2016 breakout was a fluke, you were wrong.  

The commissioner's office fell asleep on the job last week, letting the blog fall through the cracks. Did you care? Were you sad? Did you even notice? (Please let us know; if no one cares about the daily blog, why bother?) We half-assedly apologize for the service disruption. One commissioner was spending every waking minute voting for Corey Seager to be the National League's starting shortstop in the All-Star Game; the other was in mourning after perennial waiver-wire trash Adeiny Hechavarria was shipped to the American League. 

1. Clemente’s Bucs (2435.5 points, 9-4, last week, 1): We've been singing the praises of Primanti's Pals for a while, but Ray's crew was mostly unimpressive in Week 13. Clayton Kershaw and Stephen Strasburg combined to strike out 25 batters and pick up a pair of wins in 14 innings, but the rest of the team let out a collective yawn. Yes, the starting pitchers won all 4 of their starts. Unfortunately, the offense provided only 1 homer in a loss to the Fresh Fish. 

2. Bodysuit Man (2392.2 points, 9-4, last week 2): A high-powered matchup between Constanza and Zevon sure lived up to its potential, with LGM winning 213.8-181.5. Adam Duvall (34) went berserk, doubling 4 times, homering 3 times and driving in 10. Every BM hitter scored at least 11.5 points, which usually leads to victory. Gio Gonzalez (22) had a strange week, going 0-2 while allowing only 2 earned runs and fanning 17 batters in 13 innings. Sean Newcomb (19) had a fantastic outing and picked up BM's only pitching win. 

3. The Rookies (2353.8 points, 8-5, last week 3): Are the Rookies the best team in FBLG? Look at it this way: While the rest of us are scraping guys like Jose Urena, Tim Adleman and Scott Feldman off the bottom of the waiver-wire barrel, Henry is throwing Max Scherzer, Jon Lester, Zack Greinke and Alex Wood out there every week. Those 4 combined for 102 points in a shellacking of Project Mayhem. Chris Owings (29) homered 3 times for the Rookies; Tommy Joseph, Ian Happ and Domingo Santana each homered twice. 

Michael Wacha is pretty excited to be
pitching well again. 

4. Lawyers Guns and Money (2329.7 points, 9-4, last week 4): LGM batters hit 13 homers and drove in 34 runs as Matt's offense erupted in a victory against Bodysuit Man. Joey Votto (33) and Bryce Harper (29) did most of the damage, but Willson Contreras (22.5) and Joe Panik (20) did their part as well. On the pitching side, we can't explain the positive contributions from Jhoulys Chacin (22), Jimmy Nelson (21) and Tim Adleman (16). Horse-faced doofus John Lackey (-3.7) sure stunk it up, though. 

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (2302.2 points, 6-7, last week 5): So much about Scott's 206.3-point performance against the commissioners drove Rich crazy. Denard Span (26.5) led the offense by doing all the things he never did in multiple stints on the commishes' teams. Jeff Samardzija (28.3) picked up a pair of wins. Jacob deGrom (23) had a huge game for the LOLMets. Jim Johnson (26) — wait, Jim Johnson did WHAT?!? — struck out 10 batters in 4 innings, saved 3 games and "earned" a win after blowing a save. 

6. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (2207.5 points, 4-9, last week 6): The Fightin' Hueys continue to be one of FBLG's most inconsistent (least consistent?) teams. They found themselves on the "meh" side of the pendulum in Week 13, losing to PYB by about 50 points. Trea Turner (19) looked pretty good before breaking his hand, and now Yoenis Cespedes is hurt (again) too. Jon Gray (19) might be what the pitching staff has been missing all season, and Mike Foltynewicz (20) flirted with a no-hitter in Oakland. 

7. Fresh Fish (2173.3 points, 7-6, last week 7): Rick's pitching staff picked up 5 wins — including 2 by Jekyll-and-Hyde closer Fernando Rodney — in a win against Clemente's Bucs. Anthony Rendon (25) powered an offense that smacked 8 homers, including 1 by string-bean slapper Billy Hamilton. Steven Matz (16) had a rare great outing for an even-rarer healthy Mets pitcher, but Brandon Finnegan (-1) was pretty awful. 

Dud of the Week D.J. LeMahieu did a lot more of this
in Week 13 than hitting his trademark 27-hoppers
to the right fielder. 

8. Arbitration Losers (2119 points, 7-6, last week 8): Oof. Michael Wacha (35) won twice for the Losers, but it wasn't enough as Tim's club got whacked by the previously winless Misfits. Tanner Roark (-1) was terrible, Mark Melancon (3) got hurt, Keon Broxton (4) and Brandon Crawford (6) were no-shows, and D.J. LeMahieu (3) did literally nothing but hit 3 singles. "All grounders to right field, I bet!" Rich says.

9. Project Mayhem (2069.2 points, 5-8, last week 9): If 2 of your top hitters don't play, you're unlikely to win. If your opponent scores 228.5 points, you have no shot. That was the story for Bill, who got nice efforts from Jedd Gyorko (24), Aaron Nola (19) and Taijuan Walker (17.3), but little else from anyone else. Kris Bryant (8.5) and Ryan Zimmerman (7) were letdowns; Carlos Gonzalez and Michael Conforto never hit the field. And now Ian Desmond is on the DL. Uh-oh. 

10. The Misfits (1853.7 points, 1-12, last week 10): We knew it would happen eventually, and in Week 13 it finally did. Reid's team got its first W of the season by beating Reid's former newspaper co-worker. Sorry, Tim. Every Misfit batter reached double digits in points, with Stephen Piscotty (20) and Michael Taylor (20) leading the way. If we have to nitpick, the pitching (31.7 total) was nothing to get excited about, and Brandon McCarthy got hurt and didn't pitch at all.