Sunday, May 18, 2014

Week 7: The Check Swing

It's ice cream week here at the Check Swing. So grab your super-size scooper and find a friend with powerful forearms. Get yourself a waffle cone (or a bowl if you're old school like that) and enjoy a serving of frozen deliciousness. 

1. Ryan's Rangers (1,256 points, 5-2, last week 1): Bill's team got drilled by Rocky Mountain High as the pitching staff completely collapsed. Gio Gonzalez, Julio Teheran and Zack Wheeler combined for 5 points in 4 starts. The outfield is having problems, too: Carlos Gomez and Ryan Braun combined for 9 points. Chris Owings appears to be breaking out, though. Ice cream flavor: It's hard to argue with a team that's been in first place most of the year. Gotta go with the consistency and popularity of simple chocolate. 

2. Rocky Mountain High (1,207 points, 5-2, last week 4): Jon's team posted 176 points to surge into second place. Yasiel Puig led the way with 28 points and has outscored Carlos Gonzalez this year. On the down side, Jose Lobaton isn't playing much with Wilson Ramos back, and Pedro Alvarez continues to scuffle. Ice cream flavor: Jon's team can beat you in many ways. It's the best of both worlds — just like cookies and cream.

3. Fresh Fish (1,182 points, 3-4, last week 5): Rick's team suffered a close defeat this week — perhaps things would have been different with a normal Clayton Kershaw start instead of his minus-5 disaster. Garrett Jones scored 26 points as Brandon Belt's replacement, and Tom Koehler has looked good filling in for Hyun-Jin Ryu. Ice cream flavor: With all those Miami players on the team, it's an obvious choice: Baskin-Robbins' Miami Ice from the '80s. 

4. E-3 (1,175 points, 4-3, last week 3): Adam's team had a down week, with Ryan Howard, Dee Gordon, Jimmy Rollins, Miguel Montero and Andrew McCutchen failing to reach 10 points. Johnny Cueto appears to be the frontrunner for the Cy Young Award, and Josh Beckett seems to have become a reliable option in the rotation. Ice cream flavor: Other teams are green with envy about Adam nabbing Cueto, so this team can be mint chocolate chip.

5. Danger Zaun (1,173 points, 1-6, last week 2): In addition to the abysmal record, it was a disastrous week for Rich/Brian's former contenders. Jose Fernandez is done for the year, Andrew Cashner is done for a while, Starling Marte is battling hamstring and back injuries, and Homer Bailey, Jarrod Saltalamacchia and Todd Frazier became inept. At least Ian Desmond has started hitting. Ice cream flavor: These guys looked good for a while, but they turned out to be frauds. They're frozen yogurt.

6. Tanana in the Tailpipe (1,172 points, 4-3, last week 6): Matt's Tailpipers had the misfortune of facing the Misfits, FBLG's top-scoring team of the week. The infield performed well, but the outfield was hurt by the Ludwickiness of Ryan Ludwick and Terry Collins inexplicably not starting Juan Lagares most of the week. The goose egg for Jon Niese and a mediocre outing from Adam Wainwright didn't help. Ice cream flavor: There are simply too many orange-wearing Mets on this team. They're orange sherbet.

7. Pitch You Blockhead (1,159 points, 3-4, last week 7): Scott's team rode the right arms of Zack Greinke and Ryan Vogelsong to beat the Fresh Fish. The margin of victory would have been larger if Scott hadn't sat Domonic Brown during his breakout week. Good thing Seth Smith scored 15 points in his debut for PYB. Ice cream flavor: Get a bunch of peanut butter and chocolate ice cream stuck to the roof of your mouth and try to say "Seth Smith" five times. You can't.

8. Misfits (1,157 points, 4-3, last week 8): Joey Votto got hurt and Charlie Blackmon cooled off, but it didn't matter. Travis Wood scored 31 points and Hunter Pence had 23 to push the Misfits over the .500 mark. No pitcher for the Misfits had a start worth less than 11 points during the week, and Sergio Romo was solid as always. Ice cream flavor: Pence acts like a hyper 5-year-old, and we bet his favorite flavor is bubble gum.

9. Arbitration Losers (1,154 points, 4-3, last week 9): Tim's team crushed E-3, as you would expect for a team getting double starts out of its top three pitchers. Cliff Lee, Gerrit Cole and Marco Estrada took advantage, combining for 66 points. Pablo Sandoval broke out with 18 points, helping to make up for 2 each from Ben Revere and Jedd Gyorko. Ice cream flavor: We asked Sandoval, an ice cream aficionado, for his thoughts. His mouth was full of butter pecan, so we couldn't understand his response. So we'll just go with butter pecan.

10. Rookies (1,049 points, 2-5, last week 10): A huge 28-point week from Paul Goldschmidt made the difference in a 4-point win over Danger Zaun. Henry's Braves weren't doing much to help the cause back when Atlanta's offense was producing, and it's gotten worse. Ervin Santana, Evan Gattis, Jason Heyward, Justin Upton and B.J. Upton combined for only 26 points. Ice cream flavor: Rocky road is the only choice here.

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