Week 7: The Check Swing

If we were ESPN, we would make a terrible "down goes Frazier" pun. Man, ESPN is just the worst, isn't it? 

1. Bodysuit Man (1307.7 points, 6-1, last week 1): Adam's team bounced back from its first loss of the season by barely squeaking past Project Mayhem. Charlie Blackmon was up to his usual tricks, ripping 10 hits and driving in 6 runs. The pitching was just average, with only Gerrit Cole reaching double figures, which is impressive considering he fanned only 3 batters in 7 innings. Yeah, there's a long way to go, but Bodysuit Man just doesn't feel like the same team without Adam Eaton and Noah Syndergaard. 

2. Lawyers Guns and Money (1244.7 points, 5-2, last week 2): The battle between Giants fans fittingly was a low-scoring duel. Matt's team came out ahead of AL by 4.2 points and became FBLG's only 5-2 squad. NL player of the week Jake Lamb was just ridiculous, homering 4 times, driving in 10 and walking 6 times. The pitching staff was nothing special though. Despite going 2-1, the staff combined for only 26.7 points. A.J. Ramos tossed 1 inning, which was still more than the injured Trevor Cahill. 

3. Clemente’s Bucs (1239.7 points, 4-3, last week, 6): Two hundred and thirty-one points? Seriously? No one could have anticipated Ray's team going berserk like this. And the Bucs fired on all cylinders: The pitching staff combined for 6 wins in 6 starts, led by 2 apiece from Stephen Strasburg and Kyle freaking Freeland. Aledmys Diaz was the worst hitter, and he still reached double digits. Adam Frazier and Justin Bour combined for 50 points. I just don't know what to believe anymore. 

Mr. Irrelevant has been
FBLG's best relief pitcher. 

4. Project Mayhem (1206 points, 3-4, last week 3): Bill's team fell 2.4 points shy of Bodysuit Man but still remains one of FBLG's top title contenders. Michael Conforto homered twice and looks like a reliable source of offense; Kris Bryant homered three times, which is no surprise. Carlos Gonzalez is getting hot, which helps make up for Ryan Zimmerman predictably crashing to earth. Rich Hill and Aaron Nola are (finally) off the DL, which has bolstered the rotation. 

5. Pitch! You Blockhead (1205 points, 3-4, last week 4): It certainly wasn't a terrible week for Scott's team, but PYB had no chance against Clemente's Buzzsaw. There were plenty of — what's the opposite of kudos? — duds to go around for PYB. Eric Thames managed only a single. Cameron Rupp singled and homered but made 2 errors. Zach Eflin got lit up and posted a -5. If your pitching staff allows 21 runs in 36 innings, you're not going to win too many matchups, even with Hunter Renfroe scoring 25.5 points.

6. The Rookies (1192.5 points, 4-3, last week 5): When Eduardo Nunez scores 27 and Zack Wheeler scores 24, you know it's your week. And it certainly was for Henry, who knocked off the commissioners without too much effort. They might not be big names, but Domingo Santana, Chris Owings and Ender Inciarte combined for 51.5 points. Unfortunately, The Rookies have lost the potent bat of Freddie Freeman, who is out with a broken wrist.  

How do you add insult to injury?
After Dud of the Week Julio Urias
got shelled, he got sent down
to Oklahoma City. 

7. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (1158.5 points, 3-4, last week 7): The commissioners' team just doesn't do much of anything well. These guys don't hit the ball out of the yard (8th in homers), they don't steal bases (6th), they don't drive in runs (8th), they don't strike guys out (9th) and they don't pitch deep into games (9th in innings). The one thing the commishes got right was drafting Greg Holland, who has 19 saves. No other FBLG team has more than 10.

8. Fresh Fish (1149.2 points, 3-4, last week 9): All right, who woke up Rick's team? It's cruel to bust out a 203-point performance against the winless misfits, but you know those Florida types, always running up the score like Steve Spurrier and Bobby Bowden. Matt Kemp turned back the clock and smacked 13 hits, including 2 homers and 4 doubles. He got support from the suddenly relevant Billy Hamilton and nice outings from Dan Straily (lol), Adam Wainwright and Jake Arrieta. Nick Ahmed, the Jeff Mathis of shortstops, contributed a whopping 3 points. 

9. Arbitration Losers (1140.7 points, 4-3, last week 8): We made fun of Matt's pitching in the Battle By the Bay, but Tim's arms were even worse. Julio Teheran and Tanner Roark combined for -9 as the AL pitchers posted a record of 0-2 and scored 23 points. The hitting storyline was the same old, same old. Paul Goldschmidt and D.J. LeMahieu blah blah blah good, everyone else just blah. (OK, Brandon Crawford scored 19 points, but no one really noticed.)

10. The Misfits (926.8 points, 0-7, last week 10): The baseball gods are not happy with Reid for some reason. Justin Turner, Andrew Toles and Madison Bumgarner are hurt. Josh Bell is having a breakout season, but Giancarlo Stanton hasn't been anything special. The pitchers took it in the shorts this week, with Julio Urias and Seung-Hwan Oh (that's his name AND his score) combining for -6.7 points. On the bright side, Wily Peralta got sent to the bullpen and scored 12 points while pitching only 2 innings.