Week 6: The Check Swing

This guy had 21 strikeouts last week. It boggles the mind.
Oh, and happy Stud of the Week to you, Alex Wood.

1. Bodysuit Man (1162 points, 5-1, last week 1): Adam's dream of an undefeated season came to a swift, crushing end at the hands of the Rookies. The pitching bears most of the blame, as Patrick Corbin's 10-point outing was the highlight of the week. Gerrit Cole (7), Gio Gonzalez (9.7 in 2 starts), Jerad Eickhoff (0.7) and Wade Davis (6) did minimal damage to anyone as the staff combined for 19 strikeouts and 18 earned runs. Aaron Altherr (26) continues to look like a waiver wire steal, but Adam Duvall (7) and Maikel Franco (2) contributed nothing. By the way, there are four Phillies starting for the first-place team in this league. Shame on all of us.

We probably don't appreciate how good Bryce Harper is enough.
So I'll just point out that he has a 224 OPS+ right now.

2. Lawyers Guns and Money (1096 points, 4-2, last week 3): Matt's offense thumped its way past the Misfits and into second place in the standings. Trevor Story scored 2.5 points and then got hurt. Everyone else? Mashed. Bryce Harper (28.5), Travis Shaw (24.5), Joey Votto (20.5), AJ Pollock (18.5), Marcell Ozuna (17.5). Yeah, it was that kind of week. Matt's team hit 9 bombs, 56 hits overall, even walked 16 times. Trevor Cahill (27.3 in 2 starts) was aggravatingly good, and John Lackey turned a in 22-point outing as well. Someone needs to punch that guy right in his horse face. Matt's offense-first strategy fell short last year as too many hitters were injured or underachieving. This year's model looks built to last.

3. Project Mayhem (1062.7 points, 3-3, last week 2): Kelm's team had a nice week but was steamrolled by Scott's muscular offense. Michael Conforto posted 29.5 points to lead the offense, bringing back nostalgic memories to Oregon State baseball fans and other weak-minded people. Jedd Gyorko (20), Ian Desmond (19.5) and Carlos Gonzalez (18.5) also powered the offense, and ace (?) Antonio Senzatela (24) picked up 2 wins despite allowing 6 runs in 11 innings. But Tyler Anderson (7.7), Taijuan Walker (3) and Jeurys Familia (0.3, blood clot) had rough weeks. And so, FINALLY, did Ryan Zimmerman, who posted a meager 8 points and probably pushed over some old lady to get the last babka. 

4. Pitch! You Blockhead (1052.5 points, 3-3, last week 5): Scott's team was clicking on all cylinders in a win against Project Mayhem. Well, most cylinders. The offense put up a staggering 142 points, led by Nolan Arenado (28), Mark Reynolds (25) and Jonathan Villar (21). Every hitter scored 10.5 or more, which is the sign you're having a good week. Hirsute pitchers Jeff Samardzija (23.7) and Jacob deGrom (23) had big weeks to lead the rotation and overcome duds by Chad Kuhl (2) and Robbie Ray (7 in 2 starts). Even Jim Johnson couldn't mess up this team, and he specializes in messes.

5. The Rookies (1009.3 points, 3-3, last week 8): Holy Alex Wood! In 11 innings, the Dodgers' lefty struck out 21 batters, won twice and posted a cool 42, leading Henry's pitching staff to a 115-point week and a win against previously unbeaten Bodysuit Man. (That's right, kids: after all these years, BM is still unbeaten.) Zach Greinke turned in a 23-point gem, Max Scherzer put up 28 in 2 starts without posting a win, and even Tony Watson picked up a win out of the bullpen. The offense didn't need to do much, fortunately, as Eduardo Nunez (11), Tyler Flowers (10.5), Kolten Wong (8), Ender Inciarte (7) and Gerardo Parra (1) were nonfactors. Domingo Santana (18) had 10 singles in his best DJ LeMahieu impression, and Freddie Freeman (16.5) had a typical week. Henry's lineup doesn't scare anyone, but if Alex Wood is good, that's a four-ace rotation. Beware.

6. Clemente’s Bucs (1008.7 points, 3-3, last week, 4): Ray's Clementes had a meh week across the board in a loss to the Losers (that seems to be an oxymoron). Justin Bour's 20.5 points led the scoring, but JT Realmuto (8), Dee Gordon (8), Eugenio Suarez (5.5) and Aledmys Diaz (10.5) didn't do much of anything. Clayton Kershaw earned a hard-fought win at Coors Field and Kenley Jansen vultured a win, but the rest of the pitching was just OK.

7. Quirkin’ For a Livin’ (1005.3 points, 3-3, last week 7): The Commishes used the Dodgers' trip to Coors Field to their advantage, getting 90.5 points from four LA hitters led by Yasmani Grandal's 30-point effort in a win against the Fish. Newcomer Cody Bellinger posted 24.5 and looks like a mainstay for the Dodgers and for the Fightin' Hueys. Greg Holland (18 points) continued to be the game's top closer. On the other hand, Yangervis Solarte (3.5) was a no-show and Ben Zobrist played so badly he got cut.

8. Arbitration Losers (996.2 points, 4-2, last week 6): Tim's team was bitten by the injury bug, as Ryan Braun (5.5), Martin Prado (DNP) and Mark Melancon (DNP) all had owies early in the week. Carlos Martinez (30.7), Buster Posey (26.5) and Paul Goldschmidt (25) were their studly selves, though, as Tim held off Ray for the low-scoring win. DJ LeMahieu hit an amazing 10 singles because that's literally all he does and it's just so infuriating. Tim's favorite player Yasiel Puig (18.5) is showing signs of being an every-week contributor, which must create conflicting emotions in our former Commish.

Hey, Dud of the Week Asdrubal Cabrera!
Where'd you leave your skills?

9. Fresh Fish (946.2 points, 2-4, last week 9): Matt Moore was a stud, posting 25.7 points over two starts. But Jake Arrieta (2.7) and Neftali Feliz (0.3) continued to flounder, and Anthony Rizzo (5.5) did almost nothing but walk all week as the Fish fell to the Quirks. Daniel Murphy and Anthony Rendon cooled off a bit and Asdrubal Cabrera scored a half-point all week thanks to errors and general incompetence. Rick's leading hitter was the suddenly potent Austin Hedges with 21 points, but you know the old saying: if your leading hitter is a Padres catcher, you're probably just about to be fired.

10. The Misfits (796.8 points, 0-6, last week 10): More injured Dodgers, more injured Misfits. Reid's newest outfielder Andrew Toles blew out his knee midweek and the pitchers who were healthy didn't bring much to the table for the Misfits in a loss to Matt. Yadier Molina put up 23 points and Tommy Pham added 20, but Addison Russell (6), Ty Blach (7), Wily Peralta (3.7 in 2 starts) and Julio Urias (6.3 in 2 starts) were mediocre. Pham has been a nice addition, but the Misfits need about five more instant contributors. Where you have gone, Joe DiMaggio? Reid remembers watching you play back when he was in his early 40s.