Week 1: The Check Swing

Your Stud of the Week is Cody Bellinger, who is probably hitting a homer as you read this.

Welcome back to the award-winning* weekly roundup of all things FBLG. There will be many jokes made at the expense of players and teams we don't like. Also today: the introduction of the Fonz Quotient, measuring a team's Italian-ness.

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This year's Phillies can really hit. And also... whatever this is.

1. Lumber Co Lumber (323 points, 1-0, last week n/a): The league's newest member had it all working in week one, earning the big win and sitting atop the points leaderboard. Rhys Hoskins (37), Freddie Freeman (34) and Bryce Harper (33) led a huge offensive week, including an amazing 50 walks and 15 bombs. Only slow starts by Mets Robinson Cano (14.5) and Brandon Nimmo (12.5) kept it from being even better. On the mound, Kenta Maeda (27.7) is 2-0 and Steven Matz (20.3) is off to a good start. Jon Lester (23) keeps being annoyingly good, and Josh Hader (35.7) is on a whole other planet as far as relief pitchers go. John's offense is built to last - will his pitching staff be able to keep up?

Rather have this guy as my closer.

2. Hassey's Girl (293.8, 1-0, last week n/a): The commissioners got a huge week from reigning MVP Christian Yelich, who had 5 homers, 13 RBIs, 10 walks, 4 doubles and 11 runs scored... 52 points all in all to lead the reigning points champions to a narrow win against the Bucs. Kike Hernandez (27), Nick Markakis (25), Matt Carpenter (25) and Fernando Tatis, Jr. (23) all contributed on the offensive end to make up for fat Brewers Jesus Aguilar (11) and Travis Shaw (15.5). The pitching was a mixed bag, led by German Marquez (31). Aaron Nola (17) had 1 very good start and 1 very bad start, and youngsters Matt Strahm (-0.3) and Julio Urias (14.7) didn't get as much out of double starts as you'd hope. As is tradition, the Schmidt/Deka squad has already made a change a closer, dumping David "The Admiral" Robertson and picking up the smoldering corpse of Greg Holland. Something tells me he won't be the last reliever this squad uses this year.

3. Clemente's Bucs (288.3, 0-1, last week n/a): Ray was the week's tough-luck loser, dropping a 5-point game to Hassey's Girl. Stephen Strasburg (30.7) led the pitching staff, with Trevor Williams (23) and closer Kenley Jansen (23.3) chipping in. Offensively, No. 3 overall pick Trea Turner (20.5) was off to a big start before breaking his finger, which is a huge loss for the Bucs. Max Muncy "That Funky Muncy" (29) led a balanced offensive attack, and it appears that perhaps his 2018 was no fluke. Youngster Victor Robles (25), Jeff McNeil (23) and Starling Marte (23) also had strong offensive weeks. Walkers Christian and Neil both scored no points for the Bucs, and Kolten Wong (3.5) didn't do much after a hot start on the waiver wire. Who will make up for Turner's loss? It apparently won't be Nick Ahmed, cut today after doing not much (shocker). Perhaps Brigadier General Dansby Swanson, former Confederate General and Man About Town, will help out as the new shortstop.

Just here looking for some save opps, y'all.

4. Project Mayhem (273, 1-0, last week n/a): Bill's team crushed the ball to earn the narrow win against Matt, led by David Peralta (40) and notorious power hitter Ketel Marte (38). I don't want to say you can't count on Ketel Marte to keep hitting, but.... I mean, I guess it could happen. Enjoy it now, I suppose. Lorenzo Cain (34.5) also crushed the ball, making up for weak starts by Franmil Reyes (0), Evan Longoria (12.5) and Maikel Franco (8.5). Oh, those third basemen might just kill Bill if he keeps them all year. Good luck with that! As for pitching... well, this team also has pitchers on it? Chris Archer was very good Sunday to rescue what would have been a brutal opening week for the staff. Anibal Sanchez (3) and Miles Mikolas 94) did nothing, and Walker Buehler (11) bounced back from a horrid debut to earn a decent win Saturday. Closer Will Smith (16) got jiggy with it, but come on, how many save opps will the Giants have this year? Quick: name a Giants outfielder. Any Giants outfielder. Did you know they have a dude whose last name is Joe? Unless your name is Tim or Matt, you did not. But Will will be quite good in those rare occasions he has a lead to hold. Enjoy those 95 losses, Giants fans! (I may have gotten a bit off track here.)

5. The Misfits (269.7, 1-0, last week n/a): Reid always drafts an old team, and we always laugh at him. Well, who's laughing now? Not Tim after losing a narrow contest to the Misfits. Old-timers Ryan Braun (30), AJ Pollock (30) and Justin Turner (29) crushed the ball all week, and Adam Jones (33.5) looks like he's going to enjoy hitting in Arizona quite a lot, thank you very much. And of course Paul Goldschmidt (26.5) will hit. Maybe Yadi Molina (12.5) is finally slowing down? That would be nice, if about 7 years overdue. Now, Reid went young when drafting pitchers, and his hard throwing staff is off to an OK start. Jon Gray (12.7), Noah Syndergaard (16) and Jack Flaherty (15.3) each have more Ks than innings pitched, but are also 0-3. Sean Newcomb (14) isn't striking anyone out but is pitching effectively. And Edwin Diaz (20.7) seems to be enjoying pitching in Flushing, but of course the clock is ticking on his UCL. Reid's team looks like it's gonna hit. Will any pitchers step up and be aces?

We're sure Pete Alonso won't be another Lastings Milledge.
Sort of.

6. Yari's Autonomics (268.2, 0-1, last week n/a): Adam's team has a LOT of Nationals on it. This week that worked out mostly OK for him, despite the loss to the league-leading Lumber Co. Anthony Rendon (42.5) picked up right where he left off last year, crushing everything in sight. Brian Dozier (2.5) also picked up right where he left off last year, missing everything in sight. Mad Max Scherzer (39) has three starts already and a ton of Ks, but is only 1-2. And Sean Doolitle (17.3) has no saves but two vulture wins. Among non-Nationals, Pete Alonso (31) looks like the real deal in New York, but don't worry, they'll mess it up. Andrew McCutchen (29) seems to be enjoying hitting leadoff in a real lineup this year, and Jean Segura (24.5) likes hitting right between him and Bryce Harper, apparently. Ian Desmond (6) has been Bad Ian so far, but you know as soon as you bench him he'll have a 20-point day. Or maybe he'll just keep killing rallies all year long. Among the soft-tossing rotation, Zack Greinke (14.7) got lit up on opening day but bounced back for a win, Cole Hamels (18) is giving up lots of runs but not losing, and Kyle Freeland (25.7) might be a legit ace.

7. Arbitration Losers (268, 0-1, last week n/a): Tim's team was nipped by Old Man Reid in week one, but showed some of its potential. Javier Baez 931.5), David Dahl (29.5) and Manny Machado (28.5) can all hit, and you assume Buster Posey (9.5), Eugenio Suarez (12), Joey Votto (16) and Adam Eaton (16) will get going (until Eaton gets hurt, that is). And now Dahl is hurt, too. Former Large Man Kyle Schwarber (22) seems to have his swing going, so this offense will likely be one that does some damage. The pitching staff, though, is a bit of a mess. Madison Bumgarner (18) is 0-2 despite pitching well (LOL Giants) and likely won't get much help this year. Adam Wainwright (22) was great on Sunday but is 65 years old in pitching years. Yu Darvish (3.7) may just be terrible now, and who the hell knows about Julio Teheran (17) or Baby Pudge Rodriguez (13.3)? One thing's for sure: Kirby Yates (29) will have a lot of save opps this year, because the Padres are better and will be in a lot of close games. So that's something!

Henry Winkler gives the Fresh Fish
two thumbs up for their drafting.

8. Fresh Fish (267, 1-0, last week n/a): Rick's Fish weren't the freshest, but they were good enough for the win over the Rookies to start the year. We'll give the credit to Jacob deGrom (47) and a stellar start by the pitching staff. We knew deGrom would be great (24 Ks in 13 scoreless innings) but Joe Musgrove? He's thrown 9 scoreless innings with 9 Ks for 23 points. Luis Castillo? 24.7 points despite no wins (because LOL Reds). Even Felipe "Vazquez" has been good in limited chances. Plus Rick has Padres youngster Chris Paddack, who's off to a very promising start. Will it hold up? If anyone chips in to help deGrom, this will be a dangerous staff. The offense is a mixed bag, with Corey Dickerson already hurt and slow starts in the power department from Anthony Rizzo (25.5) and Kris Bryant (23). Those guys will heat up, you assume, but will Ian Kinsler (15) and Marcell Ozuna (17.5)? Is Amed Rosario (21.5) going to sustain his hot start? He's a Met, so you know my thoughts on the matter. We imagine this offense will be pretty good, especially when Dickerson comes back. It has a high Fonz Quotient with Rizzo and Francisco Cervelli, and that's always a good thing.

9. When the Ledee Breaks (266.3, 0-1, last week n/a): As per usual, Matt went all in on hitting, with pitchers added as... what's less than an afterthought? An afterafterthought? Whatever. This week, he didn't get quite enough to beat Bill, but he does appear to have a staff ace in the wonderfully Italian-named Joey Lucchesi (aaaaaaayyyyyyy). That name alone ups your Fonz Quotient. Joey put up 33.3 points in a pair of wins and hasn't allowed a run yet this year. Of course, he hasn't made it out of the 6th in either start, and how much faith do you really have in the Padres bullpen? But that's a problem for another day. Other WLB starters were less great, though Caleb Smith (21) did strike out a bunch of dudes. Did he get a win? Friends, he did not, for he has the misfortune of pitching for Miami. Zack Godley (-1.7) was brutal and Jose Quintana (7) was meh. Offensively, there were dingers! 14 of them, including 3 by Trevor Story and 2 each by Mike Moustakas, Michael Conforto, Starlin Castro and Ronald Acuna, Jr. Yet it was singles-hitting first baseman Eric Hosmer who led a balanced attack with 25 points, matched by Conforto. As always, this team will hit as long as it stays healthy. Will it get enough pitching? Time will tell.

10. The Rookies (264.3, 0-1, last week n/a): Let's start with the good news for Henry after his loss to Rick's Fish: Cody Bellinger can really hit! His opening week numbers are almost impossible: 7 homers, 18 RBIs, 10 singles, 17 runs scored... all told, that's 65.5 points. Unfortunately, that's also a large percentage of the team's overall points the first week. Now, Nolan Arenado (22), Ozzie Albies (25.5), Adam Frazier (25) and Hunter Renfroe (21.5) did their parts too. But Henry needs more from Eduardo Escobar (14) and Brian Anderson (9) going forward. Michael Wacha (23.7) and Patrick Corbin (20) were pretty good on the mound, but closer Raisel Iglesias (-0.3) already has 2 losses, Robbie Ray (14.3) still has no idea where the plate is, and Zack Wheeler (4.7) hasn't looked like he did last year. Rough start for the hurlers, but lots of potential, especially if Bellinger hits 7 homers every week.

Batting leaders after week 1

1. Cody Bellinger (R) 65.5

2. Christian Yelich (HG) 52

3. Anthony Rendon (YA) 42.5

4. Pete Alonso (YA) 40.5

5. David Peralta (PM) 40

Pitching leaders after week 1

1. Jacob deGrom (FF) 47

2. Max Scherzer (YA) 39

3. Josh Hader (LCL) 35.7

3. Zach Eflin (CB) 35

4. Joey Lucchesi (WTLB) 33.3