Week 8: The Check Swing

Andrew McCutchen and Jean Segura had a lot of fun in Week 8, which means Adam did too.

We hope you enjoyed your 1-week flash of Rich cracking wise and busting chops in The Check Swing, but now we're back with our regularly scheduled dreck. File your complaints about my blogging with the commissioner's office.

1. The Rookies (1711.5 points, 4-4, last week 1): Henry's team was at it again in Week 8, putting up 226.3 points — the highest total in FBLG. Having 3 of the top 10 hitters in the league is a good way to stay atop the rankings, and Patrick Corbin has anchored a strong pitching staff. These guys are clearly the team to beat. Nolan Arenado (36.5) collected 14 hits, including 4 homers, and drove in 9. Eduardo Escobar (26) homered twice and drove in 8, and future DH Hunter Renfroe (22.5) went deep 3 times. Cody Bellinger (19) had an off week by his standards, but Tony Wolters (17.5) — really? — picked up the slack. Zack Wheeler (27.3) and Corbin (24) were strong in a pair of starts each, and Robbie Ray (17.3) looked like the Rabies Rob of 2017.

We kind of feel bad for Sean Doolittle. He's the only
Washington relief pitcher worth a damn.

2. Yari's Autonomics (1593.2, 4-4, last week 3): The Fightin' Larry Davids disposed of the Bucs, continuing their surge after getting dumped on by this blog 2 weeks ago. The offense was impressively balanced, with all-around contributions coming from Andrew McCutchen (33), Anthony Rendon (30), Josh Bell (25) and Jean Segura (22.5). The second-base duo of Kolten Wong (2) and Howie Kendrick (0) produced exactly what you would have expected out of a full week of Wong. Sean Doolittle (-2) was unable to be both the Nationals' setup man and its closer; he allowed 5 runs in 1 inning, blew a save and earned a save. Mike Soroka (29) was outstanding again, picking up a win in 2 starts. Zack Greinke (6) pitched well in a loss, and Max Scherzer (15) was his usual dominant self but still couldn't pick up a win because he left a few innings for the Nats' bullpen to burn to the ground.

3. Project Mayhem (1562.7, 5-3, last week 2): I'm not sure I want to live in a world where Ketel Marte is the 7th-leading hitter in the league. Marte (33) was one of the few bright spots for Bill in a loss to The Rookies, and he was exceptionally bright. Marte and J.T. Realmuto (22.5) each homered 3 times, and Joc Pederson (18) did a decent amount of damage. However, David Peralta is on the Injured List, and Lorenzo Cain (5.5), Brandon Belt (4) and Paul DeJong (3) were nonexistent. That's more than we can say for the waaaaaaaaay-past-his-prime Evan Longoria (-2), though. Luke Weaver (23) led the staff in 2 good outings before landing on the IL, and Walker Buehler (16) continued to look ace-ish. On the other hand, the less we way about Chris Archer the better. Archer allowed 7 runs in 10 innings and took 2 losses.

Bartolo Colon... Wilson Ramos... Is there a weight
requirement to wear No. 40 for the Mets? 

4. Hassey's Girl (1559, 6-2, last week 7): The commissioners finally put it all together — the pitchers and hitters combined to have a good week at the same time. With one exception, of course (Deka gives Jordan Hicks the stink-eye, then orders him cut). But it wouldn't be a FBLG season without these guys burning through half the closers in the league (up to 4 already through 8 weeks). The rotation went 3-0 in 5 starts, with German Marquez (26.7) leading the way. Wilson Ramos got hot big-time; he hit 3 homers and 7 singles, drove in 7, walked 5 times and scored 9 runs. That's a full season for most Mets catchers! Speaking of Mets, Peter Alonso (16) hit 3 homers and doubled — no singles for this fella. Matt Carpenter (21) finally did something worth mentioning, and Brendan Rodgers (14) helped Rich extend his creepy love affair with Rockies shortstops. 

5. When the Ledee Breaks (1552.5, 5-3, last week 4): Offense was the word of the week for Matt's team, which won big against LCL despite a "meh" week from his pitching. Juan Soto (35.5) got on track after being slowed by an injury, and Trevor Story (25) and Ronald Acuña (21) did their usual thing. Daniel Murphy (18) looked "hitterish" for the first time in a while. Milwaukee's Yasmani Grandal (18.5) and Mike Moustakas (17.5) contributed, as well. However, Jesus Aguilar put up a big, fat doughnut, then promptly ate it. Christian Walker also put up a doughnut, which Aguilar ate. On the hill, Jake Arrieta (28) picked up WLB's only win, and Joey Lucchesi (14.7) struck out 11 in a no-decision. On the downside, Jose Quintana (9.3) and Caleb Smith (6) were unable to take advantage of double-start weeks, and Hector Neris (5.3) did little while filling in for the injured Wade Davis.

Brandon Woodruff shows why we miss pitchers getting
points for effectively swinging the bat. 

6. Clemente's Bucs (1540, 2-6, last week 5): Ray's team didn't necessarily have a bad week, but they never really had a chance against the surging Autonomics. Brandon Woodruff (22) — who is 7-1, by the way — is clearly the Milwaukee ace and was a shrewd waiver pickup. Stephen Strasburg (10) was decent, but you know all about that Nats' bullpen by now. Kenley Jansen (2) pitched only 1 inning, and Gio Gonzalez (3) and Zach Eflin (8.7) were saddled with losses. The CB offense was fine but nothing to get excited about. Eric Hosmer (23.5) and Max Muncy (16.5) were the leading hitters, which means the Bucs didn't get enough from the usual stars — we're looking at you, Starling Marte (14), Trea Turner (12), Charlie Blackmon (10, then IL) and Josh Donaldson (9.5).

The cigarette guy?

7. Arbitration Losers (1506.3, 6-2, last week 8): Pitching made the difference for Tim in a 15.2-point win against the Fish. AL's pitchers outscored FF's 68.7-48. Kirby Yates (18), who might be the best reliever in the game, struck out 6 while earning 3 more saves. No AL pitcher earned a decision in Week 8, but they racked up points just by pitching innings. Even when he pitches well these days, Yu Darvish (16) gives up tons of runs. Nine men crossed the plate in Darvish's 13 innings. Tim's leading hitter was Pirates legend R.J. Reynolds, who ... no, wait. Oh, it's BRYAN Reynolds. The outfielder (20.5) homered twice and drove in 6. Adam Eaton (19.5) and Eugenio Suarez (19) also did some damage. However, the catcher duo of Buster Posey (2) and Kurt Suzuki (0) was miserable, and Manny Machado (12) hasn't really lived up to his billing in San Diego. 

This isn't going to end well for
Austin Riley.

8. Fresh Fish (1491.7, 4-4, last week 9): Anthony Rizzo (40) was a monster for Rick in Week 8, driving in 10 and scoring 8 runs on 3 homers, 3 doubles and 8 singles. He even threw a stolen base in there to keep things interesting. Austin Riley (20) looked like a stud at the plate and a dud in the outfield, where his 3 errors brought laughter to millions of people. Rick's catching duo of Brian McCann (2) and Francisco Cervelli (-1) was somehow worse than Tim's. Youngsters Keston Hiura (8) and Alex Verdugo (5) didn't contribute much, either. The pitching was fine, but there just weren't enough innings eaten to make a difference. Felipe "Vazquez" got tied up at the courthouse filing for another name change and didn't take the mound. Luis Castillo (0.7) lasted only 2.2 innings. Clayton Kershaw (17.3), Chris Paddack (17) and Jacob deGrom (13) were fantastic though, combining to go 2-0 with 4 runs allowed in 18.1 innings.

9. Lumber Co Lumber (1483, 3-5, last week 6): Pitching was a major problem for John's team, which dropped 3 spots in the rankings. The staff went 1-1 with 1 save while allowing 15 runs in 20.1 innings. Steven Matz (12) was the high man in a no-decision, and Jordan Lyles (10.7) allowed 6 runs in a sloppy win. Jon Lester (2) and Jerad Eickhoff (-3) were terrible, and Josh Hader (6.7) didn't pitch enough to matter. Lieutenant Colonel Dansby Swanson (26.5) — he's been demoted from brigadier general — smacked 3 homers and led the offense. Rhys Hoskins (25) and Freddie Freeman (21) hit their marks, but we're still waiting for Bryce Harper (14.5) to earn his money. Wil Myers (14) and Robinson Cano (2) were handed pink slips for their underwhelming seasons, and Willson Contreras (8) made 2 errors while not really hitting. Typical Contreras.

Only 1 of these guys is still employed in FBLG. 

10. The Misfits (1369.7, 1-7, last week 10): Reid's pitching staff was good in a loss to Hassey, but the lineup was just a mess. Edwin Diaz (25.3) picked up a win and 3 saves while fanning 8 batters in 4.1 innings. Jon Gray (16) and Jack Flaherty (13) got the job done; Noah Syndergaard (8.3) struggled but struck out a bunch of guys. At the plate, though, The Misfits hit only 2 homers, 1 triple and 5 doubles to go with a slew of singles. Cesar Hernandez (19), Justin Turner (17) and Adam Jones (17) were highlights, but the list of disappointments is lengthy. Jose Martinez (1) did nothing but walk twice. Jose Peraza (3) walked twice and added 2 singles. Future first-ballot Hall of Famer Yadier Molina (9) was mediocre, as were off-cycle Ryan Braun (9) and singles hitter Paul Goldschmidt (11.5).

Batting leaders after Week 8

1. Cody Bellinger (R) 220
2. Josh Bell (YA) 195.5
3. Christian Yelich (HG) 194
4. Nolan Arenado (R) 192
5t. Freddie Freeman (LCL) 173.5
5t. Trevor Story (WLB) 173.5

Pitching leaders after Week 8

1. Luis Castillo (FF) 154.7
2. Zack Greinke (YA) 150.7
3. Patrick Corbin (R) 149.7
4. Brandon Woodruff (CB) 148.3
5. Hyun-Jin Ryu (HG) 147.3