Week 13: The Check Swing

Javier Baez - your stud of the week - is one of approximately 15 Cubs hitters to have a monster Week 13.

With five weeks left to go in the regular season, Tim's Arbitration Losers are 10-3 and guaranteed a playoff spot. Points leaders Fasano Don't Dance are the only other team with more than 7 wins, sitting at 8-5. Both divisions have a tie for fourth place, so we should have some good battles to see who makes the playoffs!

The Fasanos have a slight edge over Stable Geniuses for the points lead, with Arbitration Losers and Fresh Fish lurking. All four teams are within 65 points of each other, so there's another battle brewing for the points title.

As you'll see below, it was a great week to have a Cubs hitter - any Cubs hitter - in your lineup...

The scoreboard

Ozzie Albies isn't the only one excited that Ronald Acuna is back.

1. Fasano Don't Dance (2403.5 points, 8-5, last week 1): As the commissioners' hitting has come together - improving from "totally embarrassing" to "actually pretty ok" - the pitching staff took a big step back in the loss to Bodysuit Man. Ace Jacob deGrom gave up runs late to take a loss to the Marlins, Zach Godley managed just 11 points in a double-start week, and Nick Pivetta was roughed up by the Nationals. All in all, it was a 26.7-point week for what has been the league's most consistent staff. The offense, however, did all it could to pull out the win, putting up 136 points. Jason Heyward - remember when he was good? well it might be happening again - led the way with 28 points and steady Nick Markakis put up 21. With Ronald Acuna back and new pickup Daniel Muprhy showing signs of life, the offense has the potential to be sneaky good. If the pitching staff gets back on stride, the Fasanos will be among the favorites in the playoffs.

Jose Pereza is slashing .330/.379/.487 in his past 29 games.

2. Stable Geniuses (2367.2 points, 7-6, last week 2): It came right down to it, but the Geniuses hung on for a narrow win against the Rookies. Jose Peraza (32.5) shockingly led the offense, notching 3 homers, 2 triples, 7 runs and 6 RBIs. The rest of the offense was balanced, with Trea Turner (17.5), Scott Kingery (15), Jesus Aguilar (15) and Cody Bellinger (14) chipping in. The pitching wasn't great, managing 0 wins and 2 saves, but every pitcher did strike out exactly 1 batter per inning. 30 innings, 30 strikeouts. Ross Stripling (17) pitched well in 2 no-decions, but no other pitcher reached 10 points. Matt's philosophy of building a strong offense and then using moves each week to fill in the pitching staff has gotten him this far, but will it be enough to succeed in the playoffs?

3. Arbitration Losers (2348.5 points, 10-3, last week 4): Jon Lester's big week led the pitching staff as the Losers beat Pitch You Blockhead to improve to 10-3. Lester pitched just 10 innings but managed 2 wins and is now an infuriating fifth in the league in pitching points. Julio Teheran and Andrew "Southpaw" Suarez each put up 15 in 6-inning wins as the pitchers finished with 64 points. The offense mashed to the tune of 140 points, led by the red-hot Matt Carpenter (28) and Addison Russell (27). Justin Turner had a 19-point week as well, as the Losers finished with 10 homers, 33 RBIs and 32 runs. Tim's pitching doesn't have a lot of big names on it, but has been sneakily successful, and the offense can go toe-to-toe with anyone, especially if Bryce Harper stops being a .220 hitter at some point.

The days of this Mark Melancon seem long over.

4. Fresh Fish (2340.2 points, 7-6, last week 3): Of all the Cubs hitters to go off, Javier Baez was the tops, rolling to a 41-point week on the back of 2 homers, 11 RBIs, 10 runs, 6 doubles and 6 singles. That's a good month for most hitters. Baez's big week led Rick's gang to a big win against the Bucs. In most weeks, Scooter Gennett's 24.5 points would have led the way, as the diminutive second baseman continues to mash. On the pitching side, any time you can get 61.3 points in a week when Max Scherzer contributes only 7, that's a good sign. Kenta Maeda (32) had 18 Ks in a double-start week, and Vince Velasquez (12) and Patrick Corbin (10) put up good starts. Sadly (not really sadly, I'm trying to be nice), Mark Melancon is neither a closer nor a good pitcher, so get used to those 0.3-point weeks until he's replaced. Rick has mashers all over the field, including a number of guys who could go for a 40-point offensive week any time. His team will be one to dread come the playoffs.

5. Project Mayhem (2288.8 points, 6-7, last week 5): Bill's team continued his strong run, nearing 200 points in a win against the Misfits. The pitching went bonkers, finishing with 83.3 points despite just 2 wins and 2 saves. Tyler Mahle scored 23.7 in a pair of no-decisions, and co-aces Jameson Taillon and Aaron Nola finished with 19.7 points apiece. No one on the offense had a monster week, but Brandon Crawford (20.5) continued his tear to lead the way. Eric Thames came back from injury to put up 18.5, and Ben Zobrist and teen phenom Juan Soto added 16 apiece. It was an 11-homer week for the Mayhemers, including 3 for top pick Nolan Arenado. Who wants to see this offense in the postseason? (looks around, sees no hands in the air) If you do face them, just hope the pitching staff doesn't have a week like this one.

Chances are good that Reds relief pitcher Michael Lorenzen
hit more homers last week than anyone in your lineup.
Three bombs, including a grand slam!

6. Pitch You Blockhead (2238.5 points, 6-7, last week 6): Scott's bunch had a nice week but got steamrolled by the Arbitration Losers anyway. Anthonys Rizzo (25) and Rendon (24) led the offense, and Ian Desmond blasted a pair of homers to go with the usual pair of errors. Charlie Blackmon (2) had a horrible week, managing just a pair of singles, and Billy Hamilton (2.5) and Wilmer Difo (1) didn't do much either. Scott's offense has some mashers, but a couple gaping holes in it, too. The pitching got great starts from Mike Foltynewicz (19) and Alex Wood (16) and less great starts from Miles Mikolas (3.3) and Clayton Richard (3). Those two were the blockheads to be yelled at last week. PYB needs them to figure it out in order to make any damage in the postseason.

7. BodySuit Man (2232.4 points, 6-7, last week 7): Adam picked up a bunch of pitchers before the week's matchup, and it paid off in the win against FDD. Freddy Peralta put up 26 in two starts, and Zach Eflin added 18 in a stellar win. The two newcombers led the staff to a 62.7-point week. Who cares if Jon Gray was sent to Triple-A? The offense was pretty good too, led by Willson Contreras' 28-point week. Starlin Castro added 19.5 points despite a pair of errors, and the offense put up 115.5 points despite not much from Ryan Braun (1.5), Joey Votto (12.5) and Todd Frazier (9). Despite an inconsistent season, Adam's team has a lot of firepower. No one will want to see them in the postseason.

8. The Misfits (2198 points, 7-6, last week 8): The Misfits couldn't keep up with Project Mayhem in the loss. The good news was that Gregory Polanco, once thought missing, put up 27.5 points and out-of-nowhere star Max Muncy added 23. The bad news is that those two hit all but one of the team's homers for the week. Yadi Molina (7.5) had one of his meh weeks, which we point out simply because we don't like Yadi Molina one little bit. Reid's pitching wasn't great either, aside from Joe Musgrove's 17-point start. Clayton Kershaw (10) pitched great before his bullpen barfed up a potential win. And Tyson Ross managed just 4 points in a double-start week. With Kershaw back, anything is possible, but the Misfits are definitely trending in the wrong direction.

"Say hello to Felipe Vasquez!"

9. The Rookies (2154 points, 4-9, last week 9): Henry's bunch put up a valiant fight before losing a narrow one to Stable Geniuses. Closer Felipe "Vasquez" had a monster week, notching a win and 3 saves en route to a 27.7-point week. That helped make up for Gio Gonzalez managing 0 in 2 starts and Trevor Williams earning just 1.7. Zack Greinke (18) and Madison Bumgarner (15) each pitched like their former selves as the pitching staff had 62.3 points total. Henry's offense was led by star rookie Ozzie Albies (26) and token Cub Albert Almora (21). Freddie Freeman managed a mere 15 points but kept his spot atop the hitting points leaderboard. With a handful of pitchers who might be aces any given week, and a handful of stud hitters, Henry will be a tough out if he can battle his way into the playoffs.

There's no surprise this man is named "Rhys," right?

10. Clemente's Bucs (2064.7 points, 4-9, last week 10): Poor, poor Ray. The Bucs had two pitchers finish the week in negative numbers: Kyle Hendricks (-5.3) was blasted by the Dodgers, and Luke Weaver (-1.3) got similar treatment from the Braves. That's a good way to lose, and sure enough the Bucs were blown out by the Fish. Chase Anderson (15) had a good start, and Kenley Jansen (14.3) had 3 saves and again looks like an elite closer. On the offensive side, Rhys Hoskins (20.5) hit 3 bombs and Paul Goldschmidt (18.5) continues his rise from terrible start right into his rightful places as one of the league's top hitters. But Kris Bryant is hurt, no one else is hitting much, and there isn't a lot of good news on the horizon. Ray will have to fight to make the playoffs, but he's not out of the fight yet.

Hitting leaders after Week 13

1. Freddie Freeman (R) 270

2. Nick Markakis (FDD) 266
3. Nolan Arenado (PM) 263.5

4. Ozzie Albies (R) 259.5

5. Paul Goldschmidt (CB) 251

Pitching leaders after Week 13

1. Max Scherzer (FF) 300.7

2. Jacob deGrom (FDD) 232.3

3. Aaron Nola (PM) 230
4. Patrick Corbin (FF) 224

5. Jon Lester (AL) 203

We'll always think of you this way, Jon Lester.