Week 2: Saturday Roundup

If MLB Network ever does a countdown of the worst bat flips of all time,
Albert Almora's effort will be a contender for the No. 1 spot. 

Brad Hand, you gotta pitch him every day
Let the blown save stand
As the price you've gotta pay
He'll keep pitchin' till it's understood
And this Brad Hand starts treating us good
Whoa whoa whoa whoa Brad Hand

STUDS: To continue our weeklong theme of players Rich hates, A.J. Pollock (AL) homered twice and drove in 3. Max Scherzer (FF) dominated the Rockies, striking out 11 and allowing 2 runs in a 7-inning win. Dansby Swanson (PYB) returned from that horrible war that pitted brother against brother and went 3 for 6 with a double, 2 runs and 2 RBIs. Tommy Pham (PM) went 3 for 4 with a double, 2 runs, an RBI and a walk. He also stole 2 bases. Paul Goldschmidt (CB) went 3 for 4 with a homer, 2 runs and 2 RBIs. Chase Anderson (CB) shut down the Mets — really, Mets? LOL. Anderson allowed 1 run and struck out 5 in a 6.1-inning win. Brad Hand (CB) posted 8.3 points with a 1.1-inning save in which he struck out 4. Ozzie Albies (R) was a triple shy of a cycle, drove in 4, scored twice and walked. He tacked on an error just to prove he's human. 

DUDS: Jose Quintana (CB) barfed up one of the ugliest no-decisions we've ever seen. He lasted 2.1 innings, allowed 7 hits, walked 4, served up a homer and gave up 7 runs while striking out only 1. Chris Taylor (FDD) went 0 for 3 with a walk and was caught stealing. Rich Hill (PYB) posted a big, fat zero by allowing 7 runs to Arizona and fanning 5 in a 5-inning loss.

RYAN BRAUN MEMORIAL INJURY LIST: Taijuan Walker (M) left his start against the Dodgers with the dreaded "forearm tightness." Paging Dr. Andrews, Dr. James Andrews... Also, Ryan Braun (BM bench) left the Brewers' game with back tightness. You don't say.