Week 18: The Check Swing

Zack Godley is tied for second in the NL with 13 wins and is 6th in FBLG pitching points. And at one point, the commissioners cut him because Godley seemed to think the strike zone was in the dirt 5 feet in front of home plate.

Well, gang. The regular season has concluded, and we've learned one thing: We have no idea how ESPN determines which teams make the postseason. Apparently, the division winners earn the Nos. 1 and 2 seeds regardless of whether a "wild-card" team from the other division has a better record. The remainder of the seeds are based on records regardless of division. In other words, forget everything we had been telling you about the playoffs. Two teams from the Chipper Jones Division (The Rookies and Clemente's Bucs) have been sent to the consolation ladder, and every team from the Vladimir Guerrero Division advanced.

The scoreboard

1. Fasano Don't Dance (3397 points, 12-6, last week 2): The commissioners reclaimed the top spot just in time for the playoffs, and they did it in a big way — with a 215.5-point outburst in a shellacking of the last-place Bucs. The offense was a display of Atlanta firepower (is that a Civil War joke, Dansby?), with Nick Markakis 33.5 and Ronald Acuna 25.5 leading the way. Acuna smacked 4 homers and might be the hottest hitter on the planet. Once-forgotten Daniel Murphy (18) collected 10 hits and might actually be healthy now. Johan Camargo (3.5) made a bunch of errors when he was in the lineup and slugged about 2.500 when he was on the Fasanos' bench. The pitching was a bright spot for the commishes, who STILL have an overall losing record from their arms despite going 4-0 in Week 18. Zack Godley (29 in 2 starts), Jacob deGrom (21), Jack Flaherty (19) and Kirby Yates (15) each notched a W. If the Atlanta offense stays toasty, the Fasanos will be dangerous in the playoffs.

Jesus Aguilar just spotted the postgame buffet. 

2. Stable Geniuses (3364.2 points, 9-9, last week 3): Matt's club moved up a spot by posting 191.5 points in a win against The Misfits. Midseason pickups Dereck Rodriguez (29 in 2 starts) and Tanner Roark (17.7) lead the Geniuses' patchwork rotation, and Brad Boxberger (2) managed to not blow any saves. Of course, he didn't actually have any save opportunities. At the plate, portly masher Jesus Aguilar (25.5) homered 3 times and drove in 10. Trea Turner (22.5) reached base 13 times, and Cody Bellinger (15) looked a bit like last year's version of himself. The entire lineup contributed points, with tubby catcher Jorge Alfaro (5) bringing up the rear. Matt's strategy of rotating midrange starters has put the Geniuses at the top of the list in innings pitched; will those arms be able to get him a championship?

3. Project Mayhem (3362.5 points, 9-9, last week 4): If you're not terrified by the thought of facing Bill's team in the postseason, you haven't been paying attention. Project Mayhem surpassed 200 points yet again, this time doing so in a win against The Rookies. The pitching staff posted 82 points without the benefit of a double start, and every starter made our daily Studs list while picking up a win. Aaron Nola (16) and Zack Wheeler (18) look like a deadly pair of aces, and Jameson Taillon (15) could be a third. Anthony DeSclafani (21) probably won't pitch this well every week, but he can be a strong No. 4 option. The offense was good too, with Marcell Ozuna (23.5) and Brandon Crawford (19.5) setting the pace. If there's a concern, it's injuries: Nolan Arenado (6) is dinged up, and Francisco Cervelli (18) is out with concussion issues.

Max Scherzer has been 30 percent better than Aaron Nola,
who is second in FBLG pitching points this season.

4. Fresh Fish (3333.7 points, 10-8, last week 1): A cringe-worthy performance in the final week of the regular season sent Rick's team tumbling 3 spots in the rankings. Max Scherzer (30) struck out 17 and allowed 1 earned run in 14 innings, and he couldn't even pick up a win for his trouble. Patrick Corbin (21.3) was remarkable, as well. Unfortunately for the Fish, that was almost half of their points. Carlos Gonzalez (13.5) was the team's top hitter, which isn't saying much. Hands-off management might cost these guys: Brandon Morrow (DL) hasn't pitched in weeks, Kenta Maeda (9.3) has been sent to the bullpen, Justin Bour (6) is a bench player for his new team, and Wil Myers (DL) has been posting zeroes for weeks. However, Myers is now back in the lineup at third base, which could be an adventure. We hope they showed him video of Mark Trumbo playing third.

At LSU, D.J. LeMahieu was
known as the handsome one.

5. Arbitration Losers (3215.7 points, 12-6, last week 5): Tim's team closed out the regular season with a win against PYB but didn't get the FDD loss it needed to win the division and lock down 1 of the top 2 seeds. Matt Carpenter (17.5) cracked 3 more homers, and Bryce Harper (17.5) added 2 of his own. Justin Turner (20) heating up could be a big boost in the postseason. D.J. LeMahieu (16) manages to keep annoying us by being the best mediocre player in the league. J.T. Realmuto (3.5) had an off week, and we're convinced that Addison Russell (6) will never be any good. Tim's Chicago aces had vastly different weeks, with Cole Hamels (27) looking great and Jon Lester (-2.3) looking like garbage. The pieces are there, but can this team gets its act together down the stretch?

6. Pitch You Blockhead (3204 points, 7-11, last week 6): Scott's pitching was pretty good, but his offense took the week off. If your top hitter is a Met (Michael Conforto, 19), you're in bad shape. Guys who underperformed at the plate include Anthony Rendon (9), Anthony Rizzo (8), Dansby Swanson (8.5), Ian Desmond (5.5), Charlie Blackmon (13), Yasmani Grandal (7.5) and Billy Hamilton (1). Corey Knebel (-3) stunk it up in the bullpen, allowing 5 runs in 2 innings and going 0-1. On the bright side, the starting pitching went 3-1. Rich Hill (21.3) pitched well enough to stick in the Dodgers rotation, and Mike Foltynewicz (16.7) had another solid outing. We don't really know what to expect from these guys in the postseason. Will it be a championship run or a one-and-done situation?

Batting cleanup for The Misfits, No. 28, Tom Herr.

7. The Misfits (3178.8 points, 10-8, last week 7): Reid's team had a nice, solid week. On offense, anyway. The pitching was another story. Wade Davis (6.3) had The Misfits' only save (obviously, although with the way Davis has been pitching lately, maybe we should be surprised), only loss and only win. Yes, Reid's starting pitchers failed to earn a decision while allowing 4 earned runs in 20.2 innings. And that includes Jeremy Hellickson (6.7) not allowing a hit and Walker Buehler (13) throwing 7 shutout innings at Coors Field. Anibal Sanchez (3) lasted 2 innings before getting hurt, and Clayton Kershaw (5) struck out only 1 batter in 6 innings. On a more positive note, Yadier Molina (21.5) — nope, not gonna say anything nice about Yadi. Moving on... Somehow, The Misfits got 107.5 hitting points with only 2 homers, which came from ol' Neck Tat and Christian Yelich (10). Whitey Herzog would be proud, Reid.

8. BodySuit Man (3033.2 points, 9-9, last week 8): We thought Adam's team was going to miss the playoff bracket, but ESPN has us fooled. Welcome to the show after the show, BodySuit Man! The Fightin' Marine Biologists didn't have a great week, but it was good enough to beat the Fish. Noah Syndergaard (29.3) went 2-0, which might be a record for Mets pitchers. The rest of the staff went 0-3, with Jon Gray (5.7) and Freddy Peralta (-4) basically canceling each other out. Mike Moustakas (21) and Jose Martinez (20) did some mashing, and the rest of the guys chipped in here and there. Well, except for Willson Contreras (1), who never seems to be as good as we like to think he is. Joey Votto (9) has been disappointing all season, and now he's hurt. The commissioners feel your pain, Adam.

Chris Owings is hitting .198 for the Diamondbacks
and .455 for the Reno Aces this season. Maybe you
should just stay in Reno, Chris.

9. The Rookies (3017.8 points, 7-11, last week 9): On paper, Henry's team looks more dangerous than this. Madison Bumgarner (14) and Zack Greinke (7) combined to allow 1 earned run in 14 innings, and they went 0-1. David Peralta (34) had 4 homers among his 12 hits and has been one of FBLG's top hitters. We know what Freddie Freeman (25) is capable of, and Eugenio Suarez (14) is performing like an MVP candidate. Ozzie Albies (17.5) has been the best second baseman in the league, and Tucker Barnhart (10) has been a consistent producer behind the plate. Unfortunately, there are holes. Matt Adams (2) did nothing but walk twice, and Chris Owings literally doesn't even play in the majors anymore. Even the mostly useless Jordy Mercer is better than that.

10. Clemente's Bucs (2979.7 points, 5-13, last week 10): Ray's offense hung in there with the Fasanos', but the pitching just wasn't up to snuff. Kenley Jansen (6) landed on the DL with a recurrence of his heart problem, and only Chris Archer (11) reached double figures. Jose Quintana (2.3) was lousy, which means he'll be awesome in his next outing. Paul Goldschmidt (23) and Eduardo Escobar (22) each homered twice to pace the offense, and Brandon Nimmo (18) was outstanding by Mets standards. But Rhys Hoskins (4) was a no-show, and Manny Machado (11) couldn't take advantage of a series in Denver. The Bucs have the offense to make some noise in the consolation round, but the pitching will have to show some consistency.

Just when you thought Justin Turner had the worst haircut
in the Dodgers organization, along comes a new contender.

Hitting leaders after Week 17

1. Nick Markakis (FDD) 368
2. Freddie Freeman (R) 367.5
3. Javier Baez (FF) 360
4. Nolan Arenado (PM) 355
5. Paul Goldschmidt (CB) 351.5

Pitching leaders after Week 17

1. Max Scherzer (FF) 414.7
2. Aaron Nola (PM) 320
3. Jacob deGrom (FDD) 314.3
4. Patrick Corbin (FF) 312.7
5. Zack Greinke (R) 292.7