Week 2: The Check Swing

Max Scherzer just found out he was FBLG's Stud of the Week. We're disappointed he didn't break out the Bosco.

Well, your commissioner really raised the bar for the weekly review blog entry. Let's crank down those expectations a little bit and take a more conservative look at the second week of the season, after which there is one undefeated team.

The scoreboard

1. Fresh Fish (459.3 points, 1-1, last week 3): Rick's team got an amazing 45 points from ace Max Scherzer, but I guess we should stop being stunned by that anymore. The rest of the pitching staff was unimpressive in the win against PYB, with Jose Urena (3) and Yu Darvish (1.7) pitching like 2017 World Series Darvish. Patrick Corbin (11.3) is still striking out a ton of guys, which doesn't make much sense. The offense was fueled by the power of Javier Baez (25.5) and Justin Bour (21), each of whom hit 4 dingers. Maikel Franco (8.5) was the only position player who failed to reach double digits.

It's good to see Christian Bale being fantasy-relevant again.

2. Project Mayhem (447.8 points, 1-1, last week 7): Bill's team survived the suspension of Nolan Arenado (7.5) and did a little bit of everything to defeat BodySuit Man. Jeurys Familia (25) went 1-0 with 3 saves, putting up a big point total for only 4 innings pitched. Aaron Nola (18) had a dominant outing, and Homer Bailey (17) looked good despite going 0-1 in 2 starts. Tommy Pham (25.5) was the leading scorer, and Francisco Cervelli (24) shocked the world by driving in 8 runs. Tyler Mahle (2.3) got rocked a week after looking great in his season debut.

3. Fasano Don't Dance (428.2 points, 1-1, last week 4): If this keeps up, the commissioners' team will be renamed "Fasano Don't Hit." Rich and Brian got 28 points from Stephen Strasburg and 21 from Zack Godley — including a zero in Godley's second outing of the week — but not much offense. Chris Taylor (17.5) homered 3 times and drove in 6, so his bat might be waking up. Addison Russell (3.5) found his way to the bench, and Brian Anderson (6) made this crew eager for the return of Jake Lamb. It sure would be nice if Ronald Acuna made his way to the majors soon, too.

4. Stable Geniuses (427 points, 0-2, last week 9): Matt's team is our only winless club, but not from lack of performance. SG scored 185.7 points in losing a close one to Clemente's Bucs this week. The pitching staff went 3-1 and was led by Carlos Martinez (32), who fanned 15 in 13 innings and allowed 1 earned run. Kenley Jansen (5.7) still isn't doing much, although the Dodgers can be blamed for not giving him many save chances. Starling Marte (21) did most of his damage in one game, and no one else scored more than Travis Shaw's 16 points. Hey, remember when Trea Turner (9) was a total monster in FBLG?

Carlos Martinez goes through hairstyles
like Rich goes through crappy outfielders. 

5. Arbitration Losers (426.2 points, 1-1, last week 6): Tim's pitching staff totaled a paltry 40 points, but it was enough to vault our retired commissioner past our current commissioners for the victory. The credit goes to AL's balanced offense, which was led by D.J. LeMahieu (27.5) and Corey Dickerson (23). Jon Lester (4) and Adam Wainwright (5) made lackluster appearances, which would be surprising if this were 2012. Tucker Barnhart (13.5) inexplicably homered twice and walked 5 times; Bryce Harper (18.5) had a slow week by his standards, with only 1 homer and 7 walks.

6. The Misfits (421.8 points, 2-0, last week 1): Reid's team improved to 2-0 by beating The Rookies, but it wasn't pretty. With a final score of 136-134, this one had the feel of a Thursday night Texans-Jaguars game. Clayton Kershaw (23) and Wade Davis (16) did their part, but Tyler Chatwood (4), Matt Harvey (4) and Taijuan Walker (3, DL visit) certainly didn't. Josh Harrison (3, DL visit) and Lorenzo Cain (7.5) also disappointed after hot starts. So who was the offensive standout for The Misfits in Week 2? That would be Rich's favorite catcher, Yadier Molina. The greatest leader in sports history and a sure-fire Hall of Famer, Molina homered twice and drove in 6.

7. Clemente's Bucs (415.7 points, 1-1, last week 10): Ray's pitchers posted a strong total of 75.3, no thanks to Jose Quintana (-3.7). Good thing the aptly named Bucs had Ivan Nova (32.7) around to raise the jolly roger. Brad Hand (23) was perfect in 4 save opportunities, and Chase Anderson (15.3) was annoyingly effective. On the offensive side, Paul Goldschmidt (34) went berserk, with 4 homers among his 10 hits for the week. He also drove in 8 and scored 8 runs. Lewis Brinson (0.5) has 1 hit in his past 450 at-bats*, and Colin Moran (2) got cut. (*Statistic probably verified by ESPN)

Lewis Brinson might be our Dud of the Week,
but he's still a good teammate. 

8. Pitch You Blockhead (413.8 points, 1-1, last week 5): Wow, look at Jose Pirela (36.5) going off for Scott, our resident Padres fan (and maybe the only one anywhere for all we know). Pirela notched 8 singles, 5 doubles, a triple, 7 runs and 7 ribbies. Asdrubal Cabrera (17) continues to play surprisingly well, which means he's due for one his classic 2-point weeks. Charlie Blackmon (11) and Anthony Rendon (9) were dinged up and missed time. The reason for the loss to FF, though, was PYB's pitching staff. Miles Mikolas (22.3) accounted for most of the staff's production. Where were you, Rich Hill (0), Alex Wood (-1.3), Mike Foltynewicz (3) and Brad Boxberger (8)?

9. BodySuit Man (408.5 points, 1-1, last week 8): Adam's top 2 draft picks are the yin and yang of this team. Noah Syndergaard (31.5) has been one of the most dominant pitchers in the NL, and Joey Votto (11) is still looking for his first extra-base hit of the season. What's the Canadian-U.S. exchange rate on that slash line of .236/.283/.236, Joey? Speaking of lousy, Jon Gray (4.7) went 0-2 by allowing 12 earned runs in 10.2 innings and Ender Inciarte (3) had 1 hit all week. Jose Martinez (25.5) and Todd Frazier (21.5) were great, though.

10. The Rookies (405.5 points, 1-1, last week 2): Our new rules have allowed more lineup adjustments, but it's still bad to have only three position players score in double digits. That was the case for Henry in his team's loss to The Misfits. Ozzie Albies (23.5) was amazing — again — and David Peralta (14) was adequate. But Freddie Freeman (12) had an off week by his standards, and no one else did anything. Christian Villanueva (-1) and Ryan Flaherty (2) did a terrible job of filling in for the injured Eugenio Suarez. The pitching staff was solid but not Stud-worthy; Trevor Williams (15) and Zack Greinke (14.3) led the way.

Hitting leaders after Week 2

1. Bryce Harper (AL) 64
2. Jose Pirela (PYB) 60
3. Ozzie Albies (R) 57.5
4. D.J. LeMahieu (AL) 56
5. Freddie Freeman (R) 55.5

Ozzie Albies has prevented D.J. LeMahieu from being the No. 1 second baseman, so we're fans of his.

Pitching leaders after Week 2

1. Max Scherzer (FF) 73
2. Carlos Martinez (SG) 57.7
3. Noah Syndergaard (BM) 57.3
4. Joey Lucchesi (free agent) 52.7
5. Patrick Corbin (FF) 52.3

How does anyone hit this guy? 

Bitching leaders after Week 2

1. Rich